Laughter in my head. Unavoidable.
Wait. Boyfriend? My jaw completely unhinged. What the f**k was he thinking? Even if he truly hated me, why the hell would he do that to himself? I didn’t care how much he pretended, there was no way he suddenly liked her. I turned to gage his reaction but he was avoiding my bewildered gaze at the moment.
Sophie traipsed on, and Jhett took a few extended steps to catch up, carefully taking her hand to soothe her as they reentered the reception with smiles. He didn’t seem as upset as Sophie, but I’m sure there was some resentment in there somewhere for our behavior. Robert pulled out of the circle too, mumbling something to the effect of, “Fuck my life,” as he disappeared into the men’s restroom, leaving Anne to fend for herself. Of course she didn’t stay, but she didn’t leave without throwing me a contemptuous look first either, looking me up and down with disgust. It must’ve pissed her off to have Sophie tell the entire group he’d been ogling me all night. No wonder she’d spent the night looking like she wanted to shank me. I was so focused on her I didn’t even notice what Robert was doing.
Now alone in the hall, my focus finally turned to Evan, who eyed me very carefully. “What?” I asked fearfully.
“We need to talk.” Four words you never wanna hear from your boyfriend.
Fuck-fuck-fuck. “Evan, now? Really?”
“Oh, yeah. Want to go to our room?”
“I’m the maid of honor. I can’t just disappear.”
He shook his head in reluctant agreement. “Alright. But you know we’re going to have this talk the moment you come up later, right?”
“Yeah.” Soooo looking forward to it, I whined internally.
Hands buried in the pockets of his pants, he turned and disappeared around the fork in the hall, towards the lobby and main elevators. I groaned to myself and rubbed the ache that was forming in the back of my neck, forcing a smile as I reentered the reception.
22
Surprise, surprise, I wasn’t feeling too jolly. But I put a smile on for Sophie and Jhett and happily conversed with their guests. And when Sophie pointed at me with that bouquet of flowers before turning backwards to toss it at the eligible women, I sidestepped several times to avoid getting stuck with that awful omen. Robert seemed to have the same thought when it came to Jhett flicking the garter. After that they cut into their cakes. With our duties finally on hold for awhile, I made my way to the bar, flirted with the bartender a bit, then convinced him to give the best man and maid of honor a much needed free beer.
He eyed me suspiciously as I made my way across the floor, clearly making a beeline for our table. When I offered him the second beer, he hesitated at first. “Do they have anything stronger?”
“Wine.”
“Beer me then.” He accepted the iced bottle and I sat down beside him, immediately noticing we’d drawn the attention of our friends dancing on the wood checkerboard floor. They eyed us carefully, waiting for the tiniest misstep. “Happy twenty-first, by the way. Sorry I missed it.” He tipped his beer my way before taking a long swig. I wasn’t a huge beer fan, but tonight I was willing to drink anything.
Guess Sophie was right. We did seem to do better when our dates weren’t around.
I began pulling the label off the dark brown glass, getting a glimpse of the amber liquid sloshing around within. “So how long have you been with Anne?” I asked. He puffed a breath of air past his lips, debating what to say. “I’m just curious, is all.”
My eyes met his when they finally turned my way. “Are we really going to have this conversation?”
I shrugged. “Might as well. Not having it hasn’t done us any favors.”
He downed the rest of his beer in several gulps and slammed it down on the white linen tablecloth. “I’m going to need something stiffer then. Let’s head to a real bar.”
“We’re a little overdressed.”
“I was referring to the one in the hotel. No one’s going to pay us any attention.”
“What about Sophie and Jhett? We still have to do their toasts, and she’ll go ballistic if we’re late.”
“We’ve got half an hour before that.” He rose and I followed, and I caught Sophie’s eyes widen when we headed toward the main doors together. Robert tapped his forearm (which didn’t even have a watch) and Jhett nodded, seeming to understand we’d be back in time. We walked silently to the bar, which was dim due to the late hour, but there were plenty of bodies throughout, mostly in pairs.
There was an open round table for two available up front and I slid onto one of the barstools as Robert got himself a drink at the bar. I still had the majority of my beer, which I knew I’d probably never finish, so I passed when he offered to get me something. My hands were folded out in front of me as he sat, just inches from where he grasped onto his glass for dear life, both of us leaning slightly forward. He sipped at the drink and we stared, neither of us sure where to start.
Okay, diving in head first. “So how’s school going for you?”
Guess my predictable topic amused him, ‘cause he couldn’t resist a mild chuckle or two. “Same. You?”
“Didn’t go last semester.”
“Why not?”
“Trying to save money and find a way to afford Rutgers.”
He took a long sip. “So you got in then?”
I knew better. That hesitation was ‘cause he always wanted me to stay and go to Yale. But it surprised me that he still seemed against it, in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He got rid of me, so he shouldn’t really care anymore.
Then it again, I shouldn’t care that he’s dating Anne. But for some reason, it still bugged me a little. Damn little green monster on my shoulder.
I nodded my answer, and stared silently again, occasionally distracted by the way his finger popped the tiny beads of water trickling down the side of his rock glass, making them seemingly disappear before my eyes. “Still getting up for those damn five A.M. practices?”
His head tilted and looked to me with the first natural grin I’d seen from him this weekend. It was irresistible, and I felt obliged to match it. “You always did hate those.”
“What I hated was waking up cold and alone every morning.” Another long stare. His chocolate eyes were so dark in this room. “Why Anne?” I asked seriously.
“So we’re back on this again?”
“Seems so.”
“Then why Evan?” he countered.
“Because he wants me,” I blabbered before my brain could run its check-and-balance system for stopping that kind of remark.
At first his face soured, but then it changed in a manner that read a long, drawn out okay…. “Well, I guess I could say the same thing about Anne.”
He lifted his glass but I was quick to throw my hand on top of it. “Don’t. Stop,” I almost begged. “Is it just this weekend, or do you always drink this much?”
“I drink more than I should, but this weekend has definitely called for more.”
I’d agree to that. It had been a horrible roller coaster of emotions I wanna bury six feet under. “Why the sudden change? You were never like this before.”
“I wasn’t legal before,” he deadpanned.
“Bull shit. You had a fake ID and could’ve brought it home. The only time you ever drank was around your mom.”
With a hint of bitterness, he said, “Well, my life isn’t as easy as it once was. The buzz helps.”
I had forgotten my hand was still on his glass. I wrapped a more secure hold on it, overlapping my fingers with his. “Don’t drink anymore tonight. We may not be a couple anymore, and I probably don’t have the right to ask you, but I don’t like seeing you this way.”
His bloodshot eyes deceived him, and I caught a brief flash of pain when I said those words. He released the glass a moment later and I pulled it away, handing it to the bus boy as he passed. We sat in silence for several minutes following that, our hands still stretched across the table, our fingertips on the verge of embracing much like the manner our eyes had already done.
“I’m sorry I invited Anne,” he mumbled. I shrugged it off, taking a few swigs of beer, not wanting to drag out the stupid drama anymore. “I only did it because I knew you were dating Evan, and I figured he’d be here too.”
“Jhett?” I assumed. It was the only thing that made sense since Sophie promised not to tell him. I had hopes she’d keep Jhett in line, but Robert was his best friend. I knew he’d tell him eventually.
“No,” he answered, swaying his head sideways. He leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest. “I came to see you a few months back, and I saw the two of you together.”
My eyes averted to the table and my right hand moved to massage the tension in my neck. I was not gonna feel bad about this. “Robert, I’m not gonna apologize for moving on. I gave you enough time to come around. And when you gave me every freakin’ thing that could possibly remind you of me, I gave up.”
“What are you talking about? Gave you everything?”
I huffed. Was he seriously gonna play the dumb card? “Those f**kin’ boxes that contained our entire relationship. You might as well have stamped a big f**k you on the damn things.”
Eyes pinching, his arms unfolded as he leaned forward over the table and whispered harshly, “I did not give you everything. I gave you those things so you would keep thinking of me.”
“I know the damn inventory of our lives,” I snapped. “You kept nothing.”
Next thing I knew, he whipped out and activated his phone, then slid it across the table and into my hands like it was a freakin’ air hockey puck. The screen was filled with tiny icons of pictures.
“Does that look like nothing to you? Do you see any f**king pictures of Anne on there? I wanted you back. I just wanted to make sure you realized what you lost before I let you back in.”
I enlarged one of the pics and flipped through the album. I had forgotten he had taken a few pics over the years, but most of these looked like they were taken when I wasn’t even paying attention, or asleep.
I didn’t like the way my insides were suddenly cringing with guilt. Guess that plan backfired on him, ‘cause I took the inventory pass-off as rejection. I carefully slid the phone back, intentionally avoiding his fingers during the exchange. I didn’t wanna look at him, partially ashamed for not reading his signs better. And I should have, right?
I continued to avoid the gaze burning my skin, and would’ve loved the ability to burrow myself into a hole right then. But he wasn’t gonna left me off that easily. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
That I should run back to the safety of the wedding and end this before it goes to a level I may regret. I dipped my head and fingered the tiers of satin in my lap. Eventually my eyes rolled north. He was still, his arms draped over the table loosely, just waiting for me to say something. If I bit my lower lip any harder, I was gonna draw blood.
“That if you had just come to me in January, I would’ve run back to you in a heartbeat. But now...” I shook my head, and felt the pain on his face reflected in my chest. “There’s a small part of my heart that still loves you, Robert. But I’d say a good eighty percent has been taken over by Evan now.”
“Sounds like there’s still room to sway back.”
That caught me by surprise, and my eyes widened as my head jerked up. But before I could issue my response, I was cut off by a crisp, “There you are!” Charlotte planted herself between us at the table, but we didn’t even bother to break our eye contact, his solemn, mine astonished. “Come on. It’s time to do the toasts.”
To Charlotte’s dismay, we were slow to rise, and our moods had clearly gone south for the night. “What is wrong with you two? This is a wedding for crying out loud, and a room full of people are about to embrace your every word of happiness for the couple of the night. So cheer up already.” That last part was almost a threat.
Robert grabbed my hand before I could turn to follow her out of the bar, pulling me in closer than he should have, and softly gazed into my eyes. Two seconds later he released me without a word, leaving me dumbfounded and standing alone. I shook off my bewilderment. As I turned my head to lead my body out of the bar, I did a double-take on a familiar mop of hair at a table barely fifteen feet away.
Shit to the power of infinite.
I’m sure I was rockin’ a pretty timid face as Evan stood to approach me. I just stared at him, unsure what to say, ‘cause he was definitely annoyed right now.
“You know…” he began, and I held my breath as he was slow to continue, “…there’s an awful lot of chemistry and emotions between you two.”
With a deep breath, I replied firmly, “I think you’re mistaking that for what it really is. Unresolved issues.”
Rubbing the back of his head, he slightly chuckled, but it wasn’t really for amusement’s sake. “Unresolved issues. I like that.” His laughter quickly dissipated, and with a sharp eye, brusquely added, “But here’s the thing about ex’s. Your issues don’t have to be resolved unless you’re looking to keep them in your life.”
Damn it all to hell. I hated that he was so obviously right.
“Jenna!” Charlotte snapped. Robert disappeared through the entrance but Charlotte did an about face.
“Duty calls, again,” Evan jeered.
My hands went to my h*ps as I watched an annoyed Charlotte silently beckon me with her hand like I was a terrible-two on a rampage, telling me I needed to come here. Her timing couldn’t be worse.