As I closed my eyes, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. Gabriel was willing me to feel comfortable with the idea of living with these Second Generation Vampires. Yet at the same time, he sent me thoughts of warning about revealing too much about myself to Jonah. The only Vampire I might trust.
Strange, I mused, as I forced my eyelids shut.
FIVE
I COULDN’T SLEEP; adrenaline was pumping through me. I cast my mind back to the events that had unfolded over the last few days.
Here I was, going about my existence, pulling pints in a quaint little pub in the middle of nowhere, and now? Well, it seemed meeting Jonah had knocked my everyday life over. And Gabriel. I couldn’t believe I had found him—the leading man in all my dreams, my memories, finally in the flesh. And an Angel no less. Although I suppose it made sense; if creatures like Vampires roamed the Earth then pure beings must, too.
I wondered why Gabriel was here, why he had come in the first place, how it was that we came to know each other, and why he had left me. I desperately needed answers. There was so much I didn’t understand.
My body stiffened as the thought occurred to me: Can he hear what I’m thinking? I gently raised one eyelid, just enough to peek out and observe Gabriel scrolling through an iPhone. Very modern for an Angel. He didn’t seem to be reading my mind; if he was, he was doing a good job of hiding it.
I thought you were sleeping?
The words somehow formed in my consciousness, swirling around my mind. Embarrassed, I flicked my gaze back down. The sounds of the road and the car disappeared into the background and finally ceased altogether. I let the silence engulf me. It was like I was in a tunnel, sealed off from the rest of the world.
Can you hear my thoughts anytime you want? I concentrated on my question, trying not to conjure anything else that he might be attuned to.
I’m not entirely sure why we can speak to each other like this in the first place.… Only Angel Pa— His sentence stopped abruptly, but I was still captured in the tunnel. The link hadn’t broken.
Only Angel what?
He hesitated before he answered. We obviously have a connection; something special.
I fluttered my eyes open to try and read his expression. Confusion sat at the center of his dipping eyebrows. I quickly closed them shut again before he saw.
We can’t read each other’s minds. We’re in sync somehow. I can call to you and you can respond if you are open to it. Or you can block me.
I have to want to hear you and vice versa? I asked.
I think so. Not “want” though; I think more willing and able. His response was fast, like he knew the rules of this game.
Can you see what I see? If I think of a memory or an image, can I invite you in?
I don’t know.
Hmm. Maybe he hadn’t played this game before after all.
I started to picture the memory I’d seen in Gabriel’s presence over the lemonade. The two of us together, having a picnic—a relatively inoffensive image to test the theory on. As I recalled the scene as best I could, I felt Gabriel somehow. I knew right away that he was seeing it too.
Rather than showing him a picture in my mind like a postcard, I presented him with the memory. The sweet clove scent of the white dianthus and the fresh fragrance of the crisp, green grass surrounding us … We looked so happy. But as the glasses clinked something strange happened.
I found myself observing the memory from Gabriel’s perspective. I calmed myself for a second. He remembered it too after all; he had been there. I was still watching, but the emotions that rushed through me were not my own; they were his. It was the strangest sensation. I didn’t get any feeling of happiness. I felt a bubbling of dread instead. Did Gabriel not like me? Was he pretending to? Flashes of still images started to devour the scene. They didn’t belong to me.
Instead, extracts of Gabriel’s memory started falling through. Another being, with feathered wings, glowing. The clips came swiftly tumbling out, one after the other. A crystal. It sparkled, dazzling me. A barn, with a pool of blood running toward an entrance.
The last picture startled me and I could feel Gabriel pulling away, trying to let go. But I wanted to see inside, to relive the scene the way he had. I held on to the memory as the blood trickled, gathering into a small pool. I felt his fear flow through me and I watched him desperately running to the open door. I resisted Gabriel’s attempts to disconnect, but it was nearly impossible. Just as he was on the verge of reaching the wooden doorframe, the connection broke. I felt sick.
“Stop the car!” I shouted at Jonah, who remained oblivious to what we had been doing.
My request barked like an order. Being used to following such a demand without question meant that he abided without faltering. I didn’t even glance at Gabriel. Unfastening my seat belt, I flung open the passenger door. I then dropped to my knees and threw up into the brambles nestling next to the concrete of the hard shoulder.
It took a few minutes for the world to seem steady around me again, and once more the thunder of the cars flying past—exceeding the seventy-miles-per-hour speed limit—unsettled my hearing.
Jonah remained in the driver’s seat. Self-consciously, I wiped the bile from around my mouth with the sleeve of my borrowed cardigan. This Brooke girl was going to hate me; I had ruined most of the clothes she’d lent me within a couple of hours of wearing them. An outstretched hand appeared in my peripheral vision, holding out a bottle of water. I took it and swilled my mouth out. Attractive.
I turned my head to address him. “Why did you stop me?” I asked, not sure whether to adopt an annoyed tone or to feel guilty for invading a part of his memory that he didn’t want to share. Damn it. Guilt prevailed.
“Not yet,” he said.
He stooped behind me, stroking my back in a steady circular motion.
I didn’t like this; I didn’t like any of it. So much for a knight in shining armor! Vampires are scary, yes. Pureblood Masters, terrifying. But Gabriel was supposed to be … well, I didn’t know, but definitely the good guy, thank you very much. What was he hiding? Perhaps I was better off on my own. Doubt spiraled around my mind uncontrollably. I was missing far too many pieces of the puzzle—a puzzle that right now I couldn’t see being completed anytime soon. But Gabriel was an Angel. How could he be anything but honorable? I switched my train of thought: Maybe I had done something; maybe I had pushed him away, long ago?
“I felt what you felt. You were so angry. What did I do to make you hate me?” The question rolled off my tongue before I could stop it.