My eyes opened. A blurred but bright spark spread across my vision. A beacon, leading me home. The illumination glowed, expanding until the light made up Gabriel’s figure. I choked, my body released, and I gasped for air.
“Where were you? Lailah! Are you okay?” Gabriel’s words struck me repeatedly.
I said something and he stared back at me confused.
With soothing tones, he said, “Lailah, I don’t understand what you are saying.” He was running the back of his hand over my blazing cheek and my attention pricked, witnessing his skin dripping crimson with the stain of my bloodied tears.
“She is mine!” I hissed in a voice that didn’t belong to me.
Gabriel didn’t flinch. Placing both of his hands on either side of my face he came in nose-to-nose with me. I closed my eyes shut; I didn’t want him searching my swollen and blackened orbs.
“She is under my protection! I will end you if you harm one hair on her head!” Gabriel yelled.
I knew the creature was still listening, imprisoning my consciousness. I was a vessel.
“Know her for what she is, Angel, and you will release her to me!”
It was over. A black hole inside convinced me that what the Pureblood had said was true. I didn’t know what I was, but I wasn’t who Gabriel thought I was. Not anymore.
“Lailah,” Gabriel began.
I leapt off the floor and grabbed for my throat; piercing stabs jabbed through my lungs and over my skin where the Pureblood had touched me. I scratched and scratched at my neck and I screamed long and hard, hoping that the sensation boiling within me would escape.
Gabriel’s body was hard as marble; every muscle now clenched and jutting from under his skin. He grabbed my wrists quickly, forcing them down to my sides. I shook my head violently. Why was this happening to me? What did they want with me? What was I? Intense anger bubbled under my skin.
“Look at me! Lailah!” Gabriel was shouting louder now, but I refused to give in to his wish. The last thing I wanted him to do was peer into my soul through these eyes. I didn’t own them and I had no idea what he might find.
With a dark and inhuman strength, I shook my arms away from him and forced his hands off my wrists. I bolted through the room, running over the painted sun and toward the entrance. Just as I reached it, the heavy door flew open and Jonah filled the doorway.
“Stop her!” Gabriel yelled.
I peered up at Jonah for a split second and took in the surprise stamped across his face. My eye sockets were burning and bloodied tears still streamed down my cheeks.
Jonah’s arms wrapped around me, forcing me in to his chest, holding me prisoner.
“I can’t let him see me like this.…” I whispered, and his body eased in reply.
Feeling confident that I was secured, he let his guard down. Taking advantage, I heaved him off me and made for the path.
I couldn’t run very fast; my legs were weak and I was disoriented. Hoping that no one else would find me, I stumbled through the door into the kitchen of the main house. Speeding along the hallway, I passed by Hanora, who was hovering on the edge of the lounge looking curiously toward me, but it seemed as though I was invisible to her.
Somehow I made it out of the house. I ran along the roadside. I blocked Gabriel; I didn’t want him sensing any part of the feelings that were surging through me. I scoped the landscape for somewhere quiet to calm down. I needed to be alone. Across the road there was an opening to a trail in the woods. I headed toward it, but smoke filled my vision as something hard knocked into my side. Stumbling, I flashed a glance back to the car that had caught me as I raced across the gray lane. I watched the stunned expression of the driver as he ground to a halt, the hood dented and concave. Unconcerned, I charged to the trail. The driver lowered his window, but I had already gone into the woods so I failed to hear the profanities.
My legs slowed me, so as soon as I found a tree with a trunk large enough to conceal me I slumped to its roots. Shaking, I tried to compose myself, but the heat fizzing through my body was still raw and aggressive. Beads of sweat tumbled from my forehead and I was painfully aware of the fact that I was still streaming tears of blood. I felt so dizzy. I moved my arm back and forth and it came in and out of focus, as though it didn’t exist in this world. I forced my eyes shut and tried to think of happy things, good things. Gabriel. The two of us playing chess, wrapped around one another in the barn, the softness of his lips brushing my own …
As the images rolled repeatedly on a loop, my body began to cool and I stopped feeling nauseous. I placed my hand over my crystal ring hanging at the bottom of the chain, hiding underneath my blouse. Feeling the soft edges of the crystal across my palm instantly comforted me.
Just then the heavens opened and torrential rain poured down, quickly soaking me through. I raised my head and let it wash over my face. I sobbed. Ordinary tears merged with the raindrops, forming an alliance.
Curling into a ball, I cradled myself, arms wrapped around my legs. I didn’t know where I was, or how dangerous it could be outside unaccompanied.
Lailah, where are you? My being filled with light and suddenly I wasn’t alone.
I didn’t reply.
You can’t be outside by yourself. Tell me where you are.
I disconnected. I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t be out here, and I didn’t want to be alone, but I was afraid of my own self. I needed more time to be sure that the Pureblood wasn’t coming back. I didn’t want Gabriel to ever see me like that again. So I imagined building a wall in front of the entrance to the tunnel. Visualizing it, I placed the last brick in the gap and silence fell. I squeezed my legs more tightly into my chest and rocked myself.
* * *
I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP as the rain battered down. Once more the winter reached the core of my bones and, wearing only jeans and my ripped blouse, I was frozen through.
The day was nearly over; the sun was starting to set through the thick mist that surrounded me. I panicked. I knew I wasn’t safe. Would they have all left without me? Were they searching for me? I didn’t know, but only now did I feel a twinge of guilt. How long had I been out? It only felt like moments, but the sun retiring to sleep once more proved I had been gone too long.
I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the haze to clear and attempting to knock the wall down. He must have been waiting for me.
Lailah, please! Where are you?
I responded by conjuring an image in my mind of the scenery around me and the large tree under which I was sitting. It couldn’t have been more than a minute later that he literally appeared right beside me. He wasted no time scooping me up off the bark and thrusting my body against his. He clung to me, allowing no space between us, pushing his hand into my soaking hair. Eventually I removed my face from his chest and stared up into his eyes; they were enlarged with worry and brimming over with sadness.