“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
His reply was firm and convincing, but now the anger had subsided and I was starting to feel like some form of human again, I was confused. Worse still, I was completely vulnerable.
“Never block me out again, you hear? I’m trying to protect you, to keep you safe. I need you to be on my side for me to do that. Do you understand?”
I nodded apologetically.
In the moment of my innocence, I forgot myself. “You loved me once before.…” I sniffed.
“Yes.” His answer was swift.
“I’m not the same person you knew,” I said. “I have changed; I haven’t even the slightest clue who Lailah is. She’s a stranger to me. I don’t know who I am, I never have.”
He didn’t reply immediately but pulled me closer, kissing the top of my forehead. “You’re wrong. When I look at you, I’m met with the same person. Your smile may have weakened and your eyes may have grown weary, but you are no different from the beautiful girl I fell in love with. And somehow, if it is even possible, I feel more connected to you now than ever before.”
Despite the force with which he exerted his words, I couldn’t help but feel that he was trying to convince himself more than he was me.
He tilted my chin up toward him, but kept his hand spread tightly in the arch of my lower back, his eyes daring to reach deep down within me. He touched my cheeks gently before bending down and placing the lightest of kisses against my lips.
“Lailah,” he said. “I need you to decide for yourself what it is you really want.”
I read between the lines. What he actually meant was that I needed to decide who it was I really wanted.
My lips trembled. “Your face has been the only constant I have ever known. I would bet good money that ever since the day you left, I’ve been able to feel you. It’s an extraordinary, inexplicable yet inevitable force that I can’t deny. I may not know what I am, but one thing I am certain of is that whatever it is I may be and whatever it is I may want, none of it matters without you.” I began to sob, but I had run dry of tears.
“Ah, but Lailah.” He stopped, his hand clenching into a ball-shaped fist against my spine. “Lailah,” he repeated. “I would never let inevitability dictate your happiness. Wherever your path is meant to lead, you deserve and you should command the choice to decide. In your decisions, inevitability doesn’t rule you.” I watched his jaw lock, though it did nothing to harden his features.
What was it that I wanted? Normality? No. Though I had envied it, my destiny was not aimed at “normal.” I knew I wanted Gabriel. But to really know why that was, first I had to understand what I was and perhaps more importantly, who I was now.
I breathed in the smell of the damp soil. The rain continued to lash down. Gabriel’s shirt was stuck to his chest. The white fabric had become transparent and the muscles along his torso were clearly visible. His scent of citrus had diluted with the rain, but I could still taste him. He rubbed my shoulders repeatedly, finally reaching for my hand. I gave it gratefully.
We had reached stalemate; there was nothing left to say. Not yet. Before either of us could calculate our next move, we would have to be still and patient for a while longer.
Filling my body with heat through his touch, Gabriel instructed, “Come on, we have to leave, it’s almost dark.” His tone was urgent.
We emerged onto the curb in front of the driveway to find the metal bars of the gate bent and discarded. Hissing shrieks deafened my self-pity into silence.
They were here.
FIFTEEN
GABRIEL’S EYES SNAPPED TO ME and I met them with alarm.
“You need to go, Lailah! Now!” He lifted me and ran until his gaze finally settled on an old, rusted Ford parked in the distance. He yanked open the door, quickly bundling me into the driver’s seat. He touched the ignition with his index finger and the engine kicked in. Neat trick. “Drive as far as you can. Do you have your cell?”
“No,” I replied, stifling my shock.
Thrusting his iPhone into my palm, he ordered me to leave and I hesitated, mounting a protest that never managed to leave my lips.
“You have to go now! I have to help the others and you need to leave!”
I knew arguing would result in wasted minutes, so I nodded as he slammed the door shut and I put the car into first gear and pulled away. I looked for him in the rearview mirror, but he had already disappeared. I hit the brake and it squeaked in reply; I then jiggled the old gear stick into neutral. Did he honestly think that I would run away? Leave him and the others to perish at my hunters’ hands? Perhaps he didn’t know me that well after all.
Grinding the round leather knob into reverse, I pulled backward down the road, accelerating fast, finally plummeting to a halt outside the gates. I took a deep breath and made my way to the discarded pieces of metal strewn over the smooth concrete.
The sun had set and was replaced by a half-moon that hung low in the sky, watching me walk into impenetrable uncertainty.
A glint of light reflected off my crystal, spilling out over my blouse; it caught my attention as it bounced off a jagged piece of metal. Scooping up the bar, I ran my fingertip along the edge. It was deadly sharp.
Now armed—well, sort of—I realized Gabriel might feel my presence, so as I drew nearer I built my brick wall once more. As the hissing, shrill shrieks pierced my hearing, the hairs on my arm stood on end, and I once again wished that I could remain concealed.
As I tiptoed through the door, I was greeted by the sound of shattering windowpanes and the blast of hurtling bodies, causing my legs to tremble in response. Edging underneath the staircase, I crouched down—unmoving—in the corner, weighing my immediate options.
Formulating a plan against a Vampire attack was far outside of my experience. Noise filled every gap around me; it could only be moments before I would be faced with one of them. I heard a pub regular say once that the best form of defense was attack; albeit he was an overweight lump of a man, and he was talking football tactics, but it was the best I had. I mustered my courage, but just as I was about to charge from under the staircase, I heard Michael’s panicked voice coming from the lounge.
“What are you doing? I led you to her, we had an agreement!”
This confession caused my skin to crawl. Michael was the reason they were here. He had told them. He had betrayed Gabriel. He had betrayed all of us. The response that met him was simply a series of harrowing high-pitched noises; I knew it was a Pureblood Vampire. This had to be Michael’s maker, the most deadly force inside this house, his Gualtiero—Eligio.