There was a softness to him and, in my confused state, I could have almost mistaken his comfort for Gabriel’s. Jonah pushed my soaked hair back from my face, scooping it behind my shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” I began, while he rubbed my bare arms, trying to warm me. “I should never have said the things I did.”
“You were right, Cessie. I’m no better than them,” Jonah said, taking my icy hands in his. “Don’t worry, take your time. That was quite a fall.”
I absorbed his glowing hazel gaze. I reached my fingers to his cheeks and stroked them softly. “You’re not a monster, you were saving her. You love her like you loved your own sister.”
He jerked backward, his brow creased with a sense of incomprehension.
“Ruadhan told me what happened. The night you decided to change. The night you saved Brooke from them. I didn’t know it was her until now. I had to find you, tell you how sorry I am for judging you.”
He paused contemplatively and was cautious as he spoke. “I didn’t know it then, but if I’d let her die, if I hadn’t intervened, then they—Gabriel’s people—would have come for her and she’d have existed somewhere else, somewhere better. Instead, she’s like me, an empty vessel with a stolen soul. I took her goodness and made her dark; for that I can never be forgiven.”
“But you didn’t know! You did what you thought was right.”
Smelling the damp grass beneath my body, I knew my lungs were clear once more.
“Jonah, please accept my apology.”
I hung my head, ashamed, and he fingered my tangled hair in return.
“Do you know who that was back there?”
I kept my head down. I had briefly forgotten about that little secret of mine. “His name is Ethan. He was the one who gave me this.” Pulling out my chain, I played with my ring; the chill inside me was receding and I could feel its shape against my skin.
“Your old fiancé was a Vampire?”
“He wasn’t when we were engaged. I don’t know what happened to him. He pounced on me the night you and I met. I didn’t recognize him then. He was with me in the market.”
“I knew something, someone, was there with you. Why didn’t you tell me? Come on, you’re in danger, we need to move.”
He started pulling me to my feet, but they wobbled underneath me.
“No, no! It’s okay, he’s alone. I know he is. We have unfinished business. I need him.… I need to know what happened to me.”
I tugged at Jonah’s arm as he tried to drag me off.
Twisting around to me, his voice raised, he said, “And how do you reckon he would know that?”
“He was the one who killed me.”
Jonah’s eyes grew larger, his gaze burning.
“He might know what happened to me after, what I am, why I’m like this.” I hoped Jonah could see that I didn’t want to go back to the house, not yet.
“Cessie, you’re a Vampire. You don’t need him to tell you that!”
The words shot from his lips too fast for him to reclaim them, and I fell backward.
“No.” My voice cracked louder than the ice had when I’d fallen through it. “I’m not a Vampire.”
Inspecting me carefully, considering his next move, he said, “Maybe not like me. You’re more powerful than I am, but you are certainly some form of Vampire.”
“I think I would know.” I stifled a worried laugh under my breath.
The clouds above me seemed to be misbehaving, swirling and parting, making way for some impending rays of daylight. Yet they soon changed to a duller gray; a formidable downpour was getting ready to burst.
“I drank from you. You are nothing like anyone else I have ever tasted. Not even remotely similar to a human, and different than a Second Generation Vampire. Your blood fused with mine and made me so strong and so fast, like…”
“Like what?”
“Like a Pureblood.”
I turned away from him, but I did so too fast and I became aware of a stinging sensation in my waist. My back to him, I lifted my T-shirt and, sure enough, there was a large gash running across my skin.
“What’s wrong?”
The fragrance of my fresh blood took no time to reach his senses and he darted forward, placing his hand over the cut.
“It will heal,” I said through gritted teeth as I watched the fireworks set off in his eyes.
Lifting his stained hand to his mouth, he licked a trace of my blood slowly and thoughtfully.
Suddenly and hurriedly he yanked my top back down with his free hand, furiously revolving his face away from me.
“Jonah, it’s okay. You won’t hurt me.”
Dropping his fingers from his lips and gripping his hand in my own, he seemed locked in concentration.
“Is it painful?”
“What?” His eyes flashed to me.
“Not being able to, well, you know—”
I watched his Adam’s apple plummet as he gulped.
“Yes.” He flicked his eyes down to my waist and then back up to my face. “It’s like a thousand suns burning inside me and the only way to put them out is to…” He didn’t finish his sentence.
“A human’s blood wouldn’t do that to you?”
He shook his head.
“And the female Vampires, is that how you’d feel before you ended them?”
He shook his head again.
“I have fed on female Vampires and, yes, I’ve drained them to their end. They don’t compare—not one bit—to the way you’ve made me feel. Still don’t believe you’re some sort of Vampire?”
“I have never drunk human blood. I’ve never killed anyone!”
That was true as far as I knew.
“Really? What about that guy outside the club?”
My turn to gulp hard. “You killed him, not me.”
“No, I’m pretty sure you killed him. Though you knocked me out before you did, so I didn’t get the pleasure of watching you work, but we were the only ones there. You don’t remember?”
I kept my hand held over the cut, hoping to stop the smell of my blood wafting further in his direction.
Sure, there were many things I didn’t remember; there were enormous almighty holes in my head. I was a scratched record; broken. I didn’t exactly know what I was, but of one thing I was certain: I was not a killer. If I was, how could Gabriel ever love me? I shook my head. Why was Jonah saying all this? Why was he messing with me?