Jonah had seemed preoccupied since he’d rescued me from my fall, and after what he had said to me, I was more than happy to let him be.
“Shouldn’t Gabriel be here by now?” I asked Ruadhan.
“Aye, soon enough. He’s bringing one of his own with him. Don’t suppose he’ll be pleased to find us lot when he gets here.”
“I’m sure Gabriel’s told him.”
“I reckon he knows about Hanora, given they are traveling together. I doubt Gabriel’s explained about the rest of us,” he said firmly. “It’s not exactly an Angel’s place to be mixing with our kind, let alone roaming around freeing us.”
Shifting from left to right, I contemplated my next question. “Ruadhan…”
“Yes?”
He had his back to me as he poured the boiling water into the small teacup.
“How long have Gabriel and Hanora, you know…”
He finished pouring and, setting the kettle down, he turned to me, leaning his elbows on the island in the kitchen that separated us. “It’s not like that between them, love. Believe me, there are enough reasons!”
Shifting over to the fridge, he added some milk and I made as much noise as I could pulling out a chair at the dining table, inviting him to sit and tell me the story.
Hesitantly he joined, drifting at my side.
“It’s not my place to go speaking about other folks’ business.”
I wanted so badly to hear what Ruadhan knew, and he saw it in my face.
Sighing, he plonked himself down across from me. “I told you Gabriel saved all of us?”
I nodded briskly.
“Hanora was the first, best part of a century ago in fact. But she rejected him. She was distressed at being parted from her Gualtiero, and it took her an awful long time to accept the new life he was offering her.”
“Why’d he bother? He should have just let her go back if she felt like that.”
“They’d have ended her if she had tried to return. She’d escaped, disbanded, remember. He worked with her, helped her overcome the connection she still felt to her Master. Eventually she came around, but seemingly all that time she spent with him, well, let’s just say she mistook his interest in her.”
I gulped hard. I had to be careful; I couldn’t let him see how deeply I cared. Ruadhan wasn’t stupid. I was sure he was aware, to some degree at least, about my feelings toward Gabriel.
“But they were together for a while at least?”
“No. Never. He’s an Angel, born from light. She’s dark. The two don’t mix like that,” he said.
“Why?”
“Love is light. Hate, evil is darkness. Polar opposites. It would never matter what she did, even with a being such as Gabriel, he could never love her like that.”
I swallowed harder. Jonah said he thought I was dark, that I was some sort of weird Vampire. If I was, surely by Ruadhan’s rules the same outcome would apply. No. Jonah was crazy.… I wasn’t a Vampire.
My stomach turned as I realized that no matter how much I attempted to convince myself otherwise, after what Jonah had said down by the stream, it was becoming difficult for me to deny that he was onto something.
“Didn’t stop her trying, mind! She’s one of those that wants what they can’t have, you know? I think the fact that he’s turned her down makes her want him even more. Greed, lust … that’s a darkness, you know.”
I didn’t want a lecture in religion or ethics. I tried to steer around it.
“She’s always traveled with you?” I said.
“Yes and no. When it gets too much she leaves, but she always returns. We’re the nearest thing to a family she has, and whether she can be with him or not, she finds herself back here trying again.”
Could the girl not just take no for an answer?
“Gabriel told me that none of you had a choice in becoming what you are. And that when there was an opportunity, and for those that sought it, he granted salvation.” I pondered. “But how is it that he found Hanora in the first place? How did he find any of you?”
“Drink your tea, love, it’s getting cold.”
Sipping obediently, I waited for my answer.
“Chance really, coupled with the fact that Gabriel is atoning for something—” He stopped. He didn’t want to go any further; I had to push him along.
“Ruadhan, you can tell me. What happened to him?”
“Not really the business of either of us. You asked me if he was involved with Hanora and I’ve told you he’s not. Though why does she concern you so much?” His bushy eyebrows lifted as my cheeks flushed pink.
“Oh, little love, he cares about you, but, well, not in that way.”
He leaned over the table to squeeze my hand, like some doting father picking up the pieces of his daughter’s latest heartbreak.
“I didn’t say he did!” I said, snatching it back.
“You’re very, very lovely, but one thing I’m certain of is that he would never enter into a relationship with a mortal. He’s done that once before and, from what I understand, it didn’t exactly work out.”
I wanted to push for more, but sensed Ruadhan wasn’t yet done.
“I really shouldn’t be talking to you about this.…” His eyes meeting mine, he continued, “Ah, Cessie. I don’t pretend to know the ins and outs of his life. But I do worry about him.” He pawed his stubble thoughtfully.
“This girl, the mortal girl he fell for, what happened with her?”
He cast his eyes to the floor, looking as though he was on the verge of walking away from the conversation.
“I care about him, too, you know,” I whispered. “If I could just understand.”
“He made a fatal mistake—he fell in love. He’s only ever spoken to me once about her, you know. Roaming the Earth, he seeks her out, searching for her soul. You asked how he came to find us. That’s how. He was traveling toward supernatural energy. I don’t fully understand why he thinks her soul is Earthbound. I told him she must be in Heaven.” He shook his head, confused himself.
“So he’s atoning for falling in love? That doesn’t make sense. Why would he feel guilty about that?”
He paused and somberly answered, “He told me that he killed her.”
I nearly spat out my lukewarm tea.