Ruadhan leaped up, knocking over his chair in the process. “I’ve said too much,” he mumbled.
Grabbing his arm, I dared his gaze back to my own. I threw out one last question. “Did he tell you her name?”
Sure now he must be talking about someone else, my whole body began to feel heavy. It seemed no aspect of my life was exempt from conflicting emotion. Whatever Ruadhan’s answer, it was a double-edged sword.
It suddenly felt like I was playing Russian roulette. As Ruadhan started to speak, I could almost hear a chamber rolling over. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath, waiting to find out if my dreams were about to be shot down.
“Aye, he did.” He paused. “Said her name was Lailah.”
Ruadhan broke free of me, rushing away. My initial relief from knowing that there hadn’t been someone else faded and I was left feeling dumbfounded.
Why did Ruadhan think Gabriel had been the one who killed me? It had been Ethan. It made no sense. But then nothing seemed to make any sense these days.
I remained at the table and forced myself to revisit the memory of my death, of my body falling, of blood trickling past my face.
As unexpected and as instant as a bolt of lightning, I felt Gabriel there with me.
Startled, I tried to make my mind go blank.
You remembered …
It was as though the whole world had been swallowed up and all that existed was his voice.
He killed me. Ethan killed me.
Silence.
As if he were a passing breeze, a chill slid in between the cracks of my mind, and I was still.
I’ll be with you soon.
And just as quickly as he had arrived in my consciousness, he left.
Returning back to reality, I decided that Ruadhan had to be mistaken. I knew Ethan had killed me; I’d seen it, I’d even relived it. Ruadhan was wrong.
My feet itched underneath me, ready to act. Bolting down to my basement bedroom, I showered as quickly as I could. As I dried my hair and applied a thin layer of makeup, questions rolled over in my mind. I had to get answers. Today. Starting with what happened in that motel room with Hanora.
I brushed past the table that the chess set sat on and I peered down. It was Gabriel’s move and I hadn’t noticed until now but he was about to put me in check.
It came as no surprise, but I was a tad disappointed that I was failing miserably.
I bet the Lailah that Gabriel had once known was better.
Reaching the dresser, I rifled through the clothes and I was grateful for a moment that Brooke had salvaged some of the nicer pieces. Choosing a white blouse, I tucked it into a turquoise chiffon skirt. Sure enough, Brooke had picked out a matching cardigan, so I bundled it on, also sliding my chalky legs through footless tights and throwing on some ballet flats.
He must be close. If he was able to connect with me it meant he was near, and I felt the urge to look my best for our impending conversation.
As I opened the door to my room, I froze. He was standing in front of me.
My knees wobbled underneath me. Gabriel regarded me with sparkling eyes and a beautiful smile—stretching all the way up to his deep dimples. It was as if his mere presence brought the sun out of hiding, as rays found their way through my window, striping across his face.
He pushed back the loose strands of hair covering my right eye before pulling me in to his chest and holding me as if he hadn’t for a million years.
I have missed you so much, Lai.
I clutched his white T-shirt in reply. I was gripping it hard, not sure if it was out of love or anger. Tipping my chin up to face him, he found my lips just as quick. His kiss was gentle, yet powerful.
He determinedly locked his eyes with mine and grasped the back of my head with his palms, placing both his thumbs against my cheekbones. He stared down at me, forcing me to search the glittering windows into his soul.
I lost myself in his eyes, my anxiety and hurt feelings washing away. He trailed his fingertips along my neck, across my shoulders, and down my arms, eventually reaching my hips.
Tugging at my blouse, he slid his hand underneath the soft cotton. Placing his palm to the small of my back, he drew my body in closer. As he pressed me against him, my breathing hitched in response.
I fingered his waistband and rose to the tips of my toes. I needed him.
Gabriel lifted me from the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist and placed my hands on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and fast. He wasted no time devouring me with his sultry kisses; our lips tangled together as a sense of yearning swelled between us.
His aroma of citrus seemed to intensify as my touch peeled away his layers. And at his core was an incandescent white light that pulsed, refracting off my crystal. A halo formed around us. Together we shined, at the center of our very own fire rainbow.
Our lips separated as he set me down, and I finally came up for air.
“Where did that come from?” I asked, once I found my breath.
His smile changed, and he said, “When I tell you the truth about me, about us, you may not ever want to see me again, let alone touch me.”
My body knotted as I felt his worry stretch from his being into mine. “I’m afraid for us,” I said. “There are things I haven’t told you either.”
My face screwed up in apprehension. I couldn’t help but feel our happy reunion was on the cusp of being muddied in dirty half truths.
“Let’s take a walk,” he said.
“What about the Angel you’ve brought?”
“He can wait. What I have to say to you can’t.”
He took my hand and led me out the front of the property. We walked hurriedly up the long road to an ancient, abandoned water mill. Gabriel offered me a spot next to him on the trunk of a fallen tree.
The winter’s sun was fighting to overcome the layer of white clouds that were gathering around it. The Pyrenees Mountains, with their snowy peaks, were visible in the distance. I marveled at them, gathering my courage. If I didn’t tell him now I never would.
“Gabriel.”
“Lai.”
We spoke at the same second and I grinned nervously at how in sync we were.
“Please, Gabriel, I need to tell you some things before I lose my nerve.…”
His eyes caught mine. I could stay happily submerged in their brilliant blue forever, but this time, I resisted the plunge.
Gabriel squeezed my hand reassuringly, as if there was nothing I could say that would affect him. I was sure that that wasn’t the case.