I watched him and considered his severe declaration.
“And even if I knew how, even if I could find this evil you speak of, what if I don’t want that? What if I want to live?”
“Light and dark can never coexist; they are two separate forces. One will always overcome the other. If the day ever came that you could finally realize what you are, and if you were somehow able to accept both sides … well, if that day were to come, all the dimensions would eventually fall and it would be the end of all things.”
“I don’t understand.”
Even if Azrael was right, even if I was half light and half dark, and even if there were some extreme evil buried beneath my skin, how could I bring about the end of all things?
“You are the only being that can exist in your form across all three dimensions. With or without the evil, in the wrong hands you are the ultimate weapon in a war Zherneboh has been waiting for you to wage.”
I closed my eyes and blew out a long breath, as I tried to comprehend everything he was telling me. I didn’t believe him. Or maybe I didn’t want to believe him. A sudden sense of rebellion hit me as I cleared my mind and I shook off Azrael’s grip, propelling myself to my feet.
Facing him, I shouted, “No, no! You’re lying! Gabriel did not come here to end my existence! He loves me, I know he does.… Everything you are saying is a lie!”
“Then why don’t you ask him yourself?”
Azrael inclined his head to the right and I spun around to find Gabriel a few feet away from me. I took in his citrus scent and smiled; Azrael couldn’t be more wrong about him.
Gabriel moved to my side, wide eyed, and said, “We have to go. Just us, we need to leave now! I couldn’t stop Hanora; she’s told her Gualtiero, they know where you are and Zherneboh is coming.”
I looked back to Azrael, who, nodding, encouraged the question from my lips.
“But I saw you with her, how could she have told them?”
“Explanations later. Come, we have to move!”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me after him, but I dug my heels into the grass. He turned back, a puzzled look smacked across his face.
“Did you come here to kill me? When we first met, was that what you were here to do?” I said it. I almost laughed as I did; it was the most ridiculous, ludicrous … But he froze and bowed his head to the ground.
“Gabriel?” I asked.
If I had been made of glass, I would have shattered into a thousand pieces.
“Yes.” His voice was soft.
The ground beneath me didn’t seem to exist anymore. I felt unmoored and truly alone. I always had been.
Lailah, I can explain.…
I looked to our fingers entwined together, and as I loosened my grip and allowed my hand to break free, his connection to me fell with it.
I staggered, reeling away from Gabriel and reaching for the metal bench to steady myself.
If Zherneboh were coming, then all of them would meet their ends. Jonah, Brooke, Ruadhan, Hanora, maybe even Gabriel.
Regardless of what Azrael said, I had already cost Gabriel too much. Zherneboh sought me out, not them. I had to get far away from here. I had to stand alone.
I was petrified, but I had to save them.
Nodding swiftly to Azrael, in acceptance of his words, I fled into the darkening night.
As I ran, I thought back. I recalled how I had sprinted into the house in Creigiau to recover my crystal; I’d made it past Jonah. I had been stronger than him. And when the Vampires had stormed the house in Hedgerley, I’d saved Jonah by plunging a metal bar through a Vampire’s chest. I hadn’t known where the strength I had exerted had come from, but it had come.
It was becoming almost impossible to deny it anymore. I was not human. I was what Azrael said.
Somewhere inside me, I possessed my own supernatural gifts, and I hoped that they would serve me now, when I needed them the most.
TWENTY-SEVEN
THE SUN HAD SET AS I ground to a halt at the foot of Monts d’Olmes. Ahead of me was forest; behind me, the road was empty and still. It was so quiet, like the calm before a storm.
I hoped Gabriel and the others wouldn’t follow; whatever lay ahead was mine alone to face. And though I knew that I was hurtling toward my inevitable end, I felt better knowing that they would continue on. Everyone would.
I looked up at the tree line. The mountain seemed so tall and I had never been much good at climbing. Whether I was light, dark, or both, I should be able to speed up the side.
I closed my eyes and thought of jumping high, and launched myself off the ground.
I didn’t travel far, falling to the loose gravel and grazing my hands.
This wasn’t going to come easily.
Instead, I willed my feet to move and broke into a sprint, following the winding roadside.
The more I ran, the faster I became. Before I knew it, I was hungrily eating up each corner in no time. Eventually the route came to an end.
A lit-up ski resort nestled in the forest greeted me. Snow was thick on the ground; it surrounded me and I shivered. I had to go on.
I spotted a trail through the trees. I would have to find my way to the mountaintops far away from here, where no one else could possibly be.
As I sourced a route, knee-deep in snow, a sudden sense of dizziness struck me and I reached for my temples, closing my eyes, hoping the sensation would subside.
As I did, a pair of black orbs filled my mind and a dreadful shrill hissing deafened me. I blinked them away, but Zherneboh was close. The taste of a bonfire was on my tongue; he filled my lungs. I had to move faster.
The sky was a sheet of white, despite the nighttime fast approaching.
As I found the entrance to the thick woods, I was briefly reminded that it was a few hours till Christmas Day, and it made me sad. Here I was, willingly entering yet another mythical forest, only this time I was unsure of whether I was the sleeping princess or the deadly monster that lurked within.
It was harder to push through at any speed; the incline was steep, even for whatever supernatural gifts I possessed. I took a moment to shove the sleeves of my cardigan up to my elbows, before determinedly continuing.
Jonah came to my mind and I was sorry that I hadn’t had the chance to say my good-byes to him, but it was for the best. I was quite certain that it wasn’t just his connection to me through my blood that made him feel something for me, or he surely would have tried to drink me dry by now. Something else had stopped him.
I mulled over my barely formulated plan. I would reach an opening soon enough and wait for Zherneboh there. I needed Ethan to make an appearance for things to go the way I wanted them to. Given I was alone, I was confident he would show. If Azrael was right, and there was some evil deep inside me waiting for an opportunity, then it might peak in Zherneboh’s presence and then I could be ended—with Ethan’s help.