"You're in no position to pick and choose. You want out of Clarence's? These were your tickets. You should've been able to get any of them if you'd just put in a little effort. You're charming when you want to be. You could've talked yourself into a job." I started the car. "I'm done with this."
"You don't understand," he said.
"I understand that you're going through a tough time. I understand that you're hurting." I refused to look at him and gave all my attention to the road. "But that doesn't give you the right to play around with other people's lives. Try taking care of your own for a change."
He made no response until we were back at Clarence's, and even then, I didn't want to hear it.
"Sage - " he began.
"Get out," I said.
He hesitated like he might disagree but finally conceded with a swift nod. He left the car and strode toward the house, lighting a cigarette as he went. Fury and frustration burned within me. How could one person continually send me on such emotional highs and lows? Whenever I was starting to like him and feel like we were actually connecting, he would go and do something like this. I was a fool to ever start letting myself feel friendly toward him. Had I really thought he was a work of art earlier? More like a piece of work.
My feelings were still churning when I arrived back at Amberwood. I particularly cringed at the thought of running into Jill in our room. I had no doubt she'd know everything that had happened with Adrian, and I had no desire to hear her defend him.
But when I walked into my dorm, I never made it past the front desk. Mrs. Weathers was in the lobby, along with Eddie and a campus security officer. Micah hovered nearby, face pale. My heart stopped. Eddie sprinted toward me, panic written all over him.
"There you are! I couldn't get ahold of you or Keith."
"M-my phone was off." I looked over at Mrs. Weathers and the officer and saw the same worry on their faces as his. "What's wrong?"
"It's Jill," said Eddie grimly. "She's missing."
Chapter Eighteen
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'MISSING'?" I asked.
"She was supposed to meet us a couple hours ago," Eddie said, exchanging glances with Micah. "I thought maybe she was with you."
"I haven't seen her since PE." I was trying hard not to kick into panic mode yet. There were too many variables at play and not enough evidence to start thinking crazy Moroi dissidents had kidnapped her. "This is a really big place - I mean, three campuses. Are you sure she isn't just holed up studying somewhere?"
"We've done a pretty exhaustive search," said the security officer. "And teachers and workers are on alert looking for her. No sightings yet."
"And she isn't answering her cell phone," added Eddie.
I finally let true fear overtake me, and my face must have shown it. The officer's expression softened. "Don't worry. I'm sure she'll turn up." It was the kind of conciliatory thing people in his profession had to say to family members. "But do you have any other ideas of where she might be?"
"What about your other brothers?" asked Micah.
I'd been afraid it would come to that. I was almost one hundred percent sure she wasn't with Keith, but he should still probably be notified about her disappearance. It wasn't something I looked forward to because I knew there'd be a lecture in it for me. It would also be a sign of my failure in the eyes of other Alchemists. I should have stayed by Jill's side. That was my job, right? Instead, I'd - foolishly - been helping someone run errands. Not just anyone - a vampire. That's how the Alchemists would see it. Vamp lover.
"I was just with Adrian," I said slowly. "I suppose she could've somehow gotten to Clarence's and waited for him. I didn't actually go inside."
"I tried Adrian too," said Eddie. "No answer."
"Sorry," I said. "We were doing his interviews, so he must have turned his phone off. Do you want to try him again?" I certainly didn't want to. Eddie stepped aside to call Adrian while I talked with Mrs. Weathers and the officer. Micah paced around, looking worried, and I felt guilty for always wanting to keep him from Jill. The race thing was a problem, but he really did care about her. I told the officer all the places Jill liked to frequent on campus. They confirmed that they'd already checked them all.
"You got ahold of him?" I asked when Eddie returned.
He nodded. "She's not there. I feel kind of bad, though. He's pretty worried now. Maybe we should've waited to tell him."
"No... actually, it might be a good thing." I met Eddie's eyes and saw a spark of understanding. Adrian's emotions seemed to intrude on Jill when they were running strong. If he was panicked enough, she'd hopefully realize people were concerned and show back up. That was assuming she was just hiding out or had gone somewhere we couldn't find. I tried not to consider the alternative: that something had happened where she couldn't contact us.
"Sometimes students just sneak off," said the officer. "It's inevitable. Usually they try to sneak back in before curfew. Hopefully that's just the case now. If she doesn't show up then - well, then we'll call the police."
He walked off to radio the rest of security for a status check, and we thanked him for his help. Mrs. Weathers returned to the front desk, but it was clear she was worried and agitated. She came across as gruff sometimes, but I had the feeling she actually cared about her students. Micah left us to find a few friends of his who worked on campus, in case they'd seen anything.
That left Eddie and me. Without conferring, we turned toward some chairs in the lobby. Like me, I think he wanted to stake out the door in order to see Jill the instant she showed up.
"I shouldn't have left her," he said.
"You had to," I said reasonably. "You can't be with her in classes or her room."
"This place was a bad idea. It's too big. Too hard to secure." He sighed. "I can't believe this."
"No... it was a good idea. Jill needs some semblance of a normal life. You could've locked her in a room somewhere and cut her off from all interaction, but what good would that do? She needs to go to school and be with people."
"She hasn't done much of that, though."