"It's more than looks," said Eddie, growing pensive. "It's the way they act too. Micah's the same - outgoing, optimistic, excited. That's how Mason was. There are too few people like that in the world: people who are genuinely good. Mason was taken away from the world too soon. I won't let that happen to Micah."
"Micah's not in danger," I said gently.
"But he deserves good things. And even if he's human, he's still one of the best matches I know of for Jill. They deserve each other. They both deserve good things."
"And so, you're going to let yourself suffer as a result? Because you're so in love with Jill and convinced that she deserves some prince that you aren't? And because you feel it's your duty to support all the Masons in the world?" I shook my head. "Eddie, that's crazy. Even you have to see that."
"Maybe," he admitted. "But I feel like it's the right thing to do."
"Right? It's the masochistic thing to do! You're encouraging the girl you want to be with one of your best friends."
"I want her to be happy. It's worth sacrificing myself."
"It makes no sense."
Eddie gave me a small smile and a gentle pat on the arm before turning toward an approaching shuttle bus. "Remember when you said you were no expert in romance? Well, you were right."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I THINK ADRIAN would have agreed to anything to get his own place. He didn't waste any time in moving his few possessions over to Keith's old apartment, much to Clarence's dismay. I had to admit, I felt kind of bad for the old man. He'd grown fond of Adrian, and losing him right after Lee was especially tough. Clarence still opened his home and feeder to our group but refused to believe anything we told him about Lee and Strigoi. Even once he accepted Lee was dead, Clarence continued blaming vampire hunters.
Shortly after his move, I went to check on Adrian. Word had come to us that the "research party" from the Moroi was due to arrive in town that day, and we'd decided to meet with them first before bringing in Jill and Eddie. Like before, Abe was apparently escorting the newcomers, who included Sonya and Jill's new roommate. I had the impression there might be others with them but hadn't heard the details yet.
"Whoa," I said when Adrian let me into his apartment.
He'd only been there a couple days, but the transformation was startling. With the exception of the TV, none of the original furniture remained. It was all different, and even the apartment's layout had changed. The decorating scheme was new as well, and the scent of fresh paint hung heavy in the air.
"Yellow, huh?" I asked, staring at the living room walls.
"It's called 'Goldenrod,'" he corrected. "And it's supposed to be cheerful and calming."
I started to point out that those two traits didn't seem like they'd go together but then decided against it. The color, slightly obnoxious though it was, completely transformed the living room. Between that and the blinds that had replaced Keith's heavy drapes, the room was now filled with color and light that went a long way to obscure the memory of the battle. I shuddered, recalling it. Even if the apartment hadn't been needed to buy Adrian's help, I wasn't sure I could've accepted it and stayed here. The memory of Lee's death - and the two Strigoi women's - was too strong.
"How did you afford new furniture?" I asked. The Alchemists had given him the place, but there was no other stipend involved.
"I sold the old stuff," Adrian said, seeming very pleased by this. "That recliner..." He faltered, a troubled look briefly crossing his features. I wondered if he too could imagine Lee's life bleeding away in that chair. "That recliner was worth a lot. It was appallingly overpriced, even by my standards. But I got enough for it to replace the rest. It's used, but what choice did I have?"
"It's nice," I said, running my hand along an overstuffed plaid sofa. It looked ghastly with the walls but appeared to be in good shape. Plus, much like the brightness of the yellow, the clashing furniture helped diminish the memories of what had happened. "You must have done some savvy shopping. I'm guessing you don't buy a lot of used stuff."
"Try never," he said. "You have no idea the things I've had to lower myself to." His pleased smile dimmed as he regarded me carefully. "How are you holding up?"
I shrugged. "Fine. Why wouldn't I be? What happened to me isn't nearly as bad as what Jill went through."
He crossed his arms. "I don't know. Jill didn't watch a guy die in front of her. And let's not forget that same guy wanted to kill you only moments before in order to rise again from the dead."
Those were things that had definitely been on my mind a lot in the last week, things that were going to take a while to get over. Sometimes, I didn't feel anything at all. Other times, the reality of what had happened descended on me so swiftly and heavily that I couldn't breathe. Strigoi nightmares had replaced the ones of re-education centers.
"I'm actually better with it than you might think," I said slowly, gazing off at nothing particular. "Like, it's terrible about Lee and what he did, but I feel I can get over it in time. Do you know what I keep thinking about the most, though?"
"What?" asked Adrian gently.
The words seemed to come forth without my control. I hadn't expected to say them to anyone, certainly not to him.
"Lee telling me I was wasting my life and staying aloof from people. And then, during that last meeting with Keith, he told me that I was naive, that I didn't understand the world. And it's true to a certain extent. I mean, not what he said about you guys being evil... but well, I was naive. I should've been more careful with Jill. I believed the best of Lee when I should've been more wary. I'm not a fighter like Eddie, but I am an observer of the world... or so I like to think. But I failed. I'm no good with people."
"Sage, your first mistake in all of this is listening to anything Keith Darnell says. The guy's an idiot, an ass**le, and a dozen other words that aren't suitable for a lady like yourself."
"See?" I said. "You just admitted it, that I'm some kind of untouchable, pure soul."
"I never said any such thing," he countered. "My point is that you're leagues above Keith, and what happened with Lee was dumb, ridiculous bad luck. And remember, none of us saw it coming either. You weren't alone. It casts no reflection on you. Or..." His eyebrows rose. "Maybe it does. Didn't you say that Lee considered killing Keith for Alchemist blood?"