“Remember what I told you,” he said as she struggled. “Your opponents learn your skills and adjust their tactics.”
Ember squirmed loose and rolled onto her back, but in the next moment Barrow’s body lay across hers, pinning her to the ground.
“Your advantages are speed and agility.” His hands gripped her forearms, holding her down. “So I have to keep you still to win.”
Breathing hard, Ember looked up into his face. He wore that infuriating expression of being on the verge of laughter.
“You’re supposed to be teaching me,” she said. “Not enjoying yourself.”
“I believe I can do both.” He smiled.
She gritted her teeth and tried as hard as she could to shove him away, but she might as well have been trying to lift a boulder.
“This is hardly fair.” Ember glared at him.
“That’s part of the lesson,” he answered, still smiling. “Most fights aren’t fair.”
“Fine,” she said. “Lesson learned. Are you going to let me up or make me spend the night in the mud?”
When he laughed, Ember took advantage of the distraction. She jerked hard beneath him, making him lose his balance. Rather than freeing herself, Ember only managed to cause Barrow to collapse into her.
“Points for effort,” he grunted, beginning to right himself. “I think you may be part fox, Lady Morrow. You’ve got the coloring to support my suspicions.”
Propping himself on one elbow, he reached out to brush a strand of auburn hair from her face. For a moment his fingers rested against her cheekbone.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she murmured, trying to catch her breath. She’d made an honest attempt to free herself, but now she couldn’t focus on anything but the length of Barrow’s body pressed against her. His face was very close to hers. She could see dark stubble beginning to peek out on his chin and jaw.
“It was meant to be one,” he said quietly, and went very still. Without warning he pushed himself up and stepped away from her. “I think that’s enough for today.”
Ember sat up, surprised by his sudden change in mood. He offered his hand to help her up but released her fingers the moment she was on her feet.
“I’ve kept something from you and I can’t continue to do so,” he said.
“What is it?” Ember asked warily.
“I wanted you to fight so you knew your strength, your inherent skills,” he said. “You are a warrior, Ember, don’t doubt that.”
“But—” She braced herself as if waiting for a blow.
The soberness of his expression did nothing to quell her growing anxiety. “You’re going into the field tomorrow. Lukasz told me last night.”
She swallowed the sudden thickness in her throat. “Tomorrow?”
“That’s not all.” Barrow sighed. “We’re investigating what could be a serious threat in the Black Forest. It’s a high-risk expedition, so Lukasz will lead the mission himself. Five of the Guard will accompany him.”
For a moment she felt relieved, knowing the burden of her first foray into the world would be shared. But Barrow spoke again:
“Alistair will be there.”
The sound of Alistair’s name jolted through her.
Barrow put his hand on her shoulder. “You cannot let what has passed between you be a distraction. He made a terrible mistake by burdening you with his desire. But I will not let it endanger you.”
Ember drew a long breath before saying, “I won’t let it get in the way. I’m here for a purpose that has nothing to do with Alistair. He’s a member of the Guard, which makes him my brother and friend. As you said, we live and die for each other.”
“Very well,” he said, though with slight hesitation. “When we’re in the field, I want you to stay close to me. You’ve proven capable in combat, but that won’t compensate for the shock of facing off with a beast that wants to kill you.”
“The revenant wanted to kill me,” Ember countered.
Barrow regarded her calmly. “Yes. It did.”
He picked up his sword belt, wincing slightly as he did. “And I’ll bear the bruises that witness to your skill. It still would benefit you to watch and learn from the rest of the group. Don’t endanger yourself unnecessarily.”
“Why would I?” Ember regretted the sharpness in her voice, especially when Barrow gave her a thin, cold smile.
“Because you may be a natural warrior, but you’re human,” he said. “You’ll be tempted to make a point to Alistair. And perhaps try to impress Lukasz. Both choices would endanger you . . . and all of us.”
Ember bowed her head, kicking the dirt as shame washed over her. How was it that this tall knight could look at her and see into her heart? Every word he’d spoken was true. She wanted to show Alistair she belonged among the knights, that she was as much of a warrior as he. And she wanted Lukasz to see her as a valuable addition to the Guard. Most of all, she wanted Barrow to have no regrets about choosing to be her mentor.
Barrow’s light touch on her arm drew her eyes up.
“Come, Ember,” he said. “It’s time to restore the strength you spent today.”
SEVENTEEN
TWO THINGS HAD ROBBED Ember of sleep. The first was Alistair. All through the night any sound reminiscent of footsteps had made her tense, one hand clutching the dagger beneath her pillow. She couldn’t go on like this. As much as she’d spoken the words to Barrow that her commitment to the Guard was beyond any grudge she might bear toward Alistair, she worried that it might not prove true tomorrow.
Adrenaline building from nightfall to dawn’s first light was the second reason she hadn’t rested. And it was that still-churning source of energy that kept her from exhaustion despite her sleepless night.
Ember dressed and made her way to the barracks’ main hall. Barrow, Kael, and Alistair were at their table from the night before. Taking the coward’s path, Ember ducked her head and slid into a seat next to Sorcha.
Lukasz’s deep voice rumbled, “Good morning, Lady Morrow.”
“Good morning, sir,” Ember said.
A servant placed a bowl of cooked oats before her. She forced the spoon to her mouth, though her stomach didn’t want food.
Sorcha set down her spoon, fixing Ember with a puzzled frown. “Not that we object to your company, Lady Morrow. But it is customary that you are a constant companion to your mentor until your apprenticeship ends.”