“What almost happened?” Josie demanded. “Do I even want to know?”
“No, you don’t.” Paul’s fingers tightened around my shoulders; he was gripping me so hard it bruised. I can’t explain how that was intimidating and comforting at the same time, but it was. He wasn’t looking at me any longer. “Theo, who gave you this? Was it Conley himself? Someone from Triad could have preset a test without our knowing.”
Theo huffed, “Stop being so paranoid. Could you do that for once?” His voice gentled as he added, “Deep breaths, Meg. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said, and by then I was. I pulled out of Paul’s arms to stand on my own. Josie came to my side, but she was wise enough not to coddle me; she simply stayed close.
Paul walked through the mist to Theo; he’s five inches taller and a whole lot broader, but Theo didn’t flinch, even when Paul jabbed his finger against his breastbone. “Someone set up an overload test. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t me. Therefore it was Triad. That isn’t paranoia. That’s fact.”
Although Theo clearly wanted to argue, he said, “Okay, all right, maybe they made a mistake.”
“A mistake that could have hurt Marguerite! A mistake you should have caught, if you’d been paying attention. But you weren’t paying attention, were you?”
“I already admitted I screwed up—”
“It’s not enough to admit it! You have to do better than this. You have to keep yourself sharp. If you don’t—and you put Marguerite at risk again—there will be consequences.” Paul was leaning over Theo, using all his size and anger in an attempt to intimidate him. “Do you understand me?”
Theo’s entire body tensed, and for a moment I thought he might push Paul back. But that spark faded as quickly as it had begun. Quietly he said, “I hear you, little brother. I do. You know I feel like shit about this, right?”
They weren’t brothers, hadn’t even met two years before, but that nickname was something that mattered to them both. Theo, too, had taken Paul under his wing; Paul had seemed to idolize Theo, almost, more awed than envious of Theo’s easy humor and crazy social life. It’s hard to imagine that Paul didn’t mean it that day when his gaze softened and he said, “I know you’d never mean to do anything like that, Theo. But you can’t let yourself get distracted. By anything.”
“Listen, let me be the one to tell Sophia and Henry about this. I won’t hold anything back. It’s just—I deserve to hear it from them, you know?” Theo said, looking at all three of us in turn.
“Okay,” Paul said, then glanced over at me for confirmation. I nodded. Josie hesitated for a long moment, then finally nodded too. Theo inclined his head, almost as though he were bowing, and then trudged toward his car.
Paul came back to me, guiding me to the house. Apparently it was safe to be inside again. Josie followed us, pointing at the device. “Can we move that thing?”
“Good idea,” Paul said. “Get it out of the house. We probably shouldn’t have brought it in here to begin with.”
Josie hauled it into her arms—that thing was heavy—and headed out, leaving me and Paul alone.
As he pushed my hair back from my face, I felt suddenly shy. So I tried laughing it off. “What, am I radioactive now? Do I get superpowers?”
“No, and I doubt it.”
“Did that thing nearly send me into another dimension?”
“It temporarily weakened the boundaries. That’s all. Any other effects would be—theoretical.” Paul blinked, then took his hands from me. I hugged myself and stepped back. Just when I thought neither of us would be able to think of anything else to say, Paul added, “I think Theo’s, ah, extracurricular activities are getting the better of him.”
“I don’t want to think about it. Nothing went wrong, right?”
“Right.”
His gaze met mine, and I remembered how he’d held me in his arms. Touched my hair. It was the first time we’d been that close . . . and even then, I was thinking of it as the first time. Not the only time.
I was beginning to wonder what else Paul and I might be to each other . . .
Nothing, I tell myself savagely. No, that’s not right. He’s your betrayer. And you’re going to be his end.
Back then I told myself the Accident wasn’t a sign of any bigger trend in Theo’s life, that it was much ado about nothing, but I was wrong.
I know that as I sit here on the bathroom floor, back cramping, a full half hour after I found Theo messed up. Paul might have been lying about everything else, but maybe he really did think of Theo as his “brother,” at least a little bit. Maybe he cared enough to wish that Theo would get some help.
Or maybe Paul only wanted me to distrust Theo, so I’d go on trusting him completely.
My hand settles on Theo’s head; his hair is thick and silky, wavy against my palm. His arm is slung across my legs. I look for the small tattoo above his wrist, the one he keeps promising to explain but never does . . . but that was stupid. This dimension’s Theo apparently doesn’t go in for body art.
Slowly he stirs, snuggling into my belly as though I were a pillow, then suddenly pulling himself up to sit beside me. His eyes have a drowsy quality, sensual and unfocused, and yet I know he’s mostly himself again. “Mmmph. How long was I out of it?”
“Thirty minutes or so.” Theo has caught the last break he’s going to get from me. I hold up the bottle of green stuff. “What the hell is this?”
Then I feel sorry for being such a hard-ass, because he looks so desperately ashamed. “Homemade stuff,” he says, his voice low. “Something this Theo uses—must’ve cooked it up with some chemistry guys. It’s one hell of a ride.”
He’s joking about what a great “ride” it is when we’re in the middle of something this dangerous? This important? I should’ve called an ambulance anyway; Theo’s going to need one before I’m done with him.
But then he adds, “It also hooks its claws into you, hard. He—we—I needed a hit. I was trying to fight it, but this body belongs to this dimension and, you know, it needs what it needs. While I’m here, I kinda have to play by this world’s rules.”
“It’s not just here, though, is it?” I ask. If it had been, I feel like Theo would have told me about his other self’s drug addiction; his secrecy seems to hint at something more. “You use at home, too. Don’t you? We all suspected.”