“I think so.”
“Okay. Let’s get you home.” He stood up and took my hands so he could help me to my feet. Before we got in the car, he gave me a once over to make sure. His eyes got hard and the hand that was holding mine got very cold. “Your pants are undone.”
“What?” I looked down at my jeans, and I couldn’t remember undoing them. Then I remembered being upstairs making out with Jordan. “Oh. Yeah. That. I didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t do anything?” Jack let go of my hand and eyed me up severely.
“No, I didn’t. I mean, like kissing, but you know, just that. It was nothing at all.” I started zipping up my pants when something occurred to me. “I’m wearing a purple a thong.”
“You’re wearing a purple thong?” Jack raised an eyebrow, but since I was drunk, I couldn’t get a read on his emotions. I didn’t know if it was an intrigued I’d-like-to-see-more eyebrow, or a disapproving you’re-a-huge-slut eyebrow.
“Yeah. Wanna see?” I offered.
“Just get in the car,” Jack said, not unkindly, and walked around to the driver’s seat.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. When I got in the car, a tear slid down my cheek, but I tried to wipe it away before he noticed.
“That’s what you were doing when I called?” He kept his voice even, but the car squealed away from the house. His hands gripped the steering wheel too tightly, and I sunk deeper into the seat.
“He kept pouring me shots, and I don’t remember most of the night. I don’t even remember how I got in the room. But when I realized what was going on, I pushed him off of me, and then you just happened to call like a second later.” I played with my hair and shook my head.
“I don’t know why I have to explain myself to you, anyway,” I said. “You were too busy to even talk to me tonight. It’s not my fault that you decided to grace me with your presence the one time I’m actually out doing something.”
“Oh, yeah. Because I’m just busy partying it up all the time. That’s why I can’t talk to you,” Jack scoffed.
“I was just sick of sitting in that stupid apartment waiting for you!” I snapped. “So when Jane texted me-”
“I should’ve known she’d be the source of all this,” he laughed darkly.
“You’re the one that suggested I hang out with her while you’re so ‘busy.’” When I made the little air quotes for busy, he rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t mean it. I just felt guilty for leaving you alone all the time, but I took it back right away. That’s why I had Mae come get you.”
“Oh, yeah, thank you for that, by the way. Great idea.”
“What? You love Mae!” Jack looked at me dubiously. “How was that not a great idea?”
“Because! I wanted to see you!” I shouted, then instantly regretted saying it.
“Do you think that this is what I wanted?” Jack countered. “That I wanted you to hang out with Jane, getting drunk, and messing around with random date rapists? Yeah, this is exactly what I wanted, Alice.”
“It’s not my fault that that’s what it feels like.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Well, good thing you got smashed tonight so you could figure it all out!”
“You couldn’t even return a text message today!” I yelled. “And when I called, you couldn’t wait to get off the phone! I’ve barely talked to you lately! And you just…” Biting my lip, I didn’t even finish the thought.
“I couldn’t stay on the phone with you! I shouldn’t even have answered the phone in the first place. Things almost got really out of control because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and now you’re mad at me because that wasn’t good enough for you?” He shook his head.
“It was a five second phone call! What could’ve gotten so out of control?” I asked skeptically.
“Milo!”
“Milo?” I looked at him, waiting for him elaborate, but he didn’t. “What? Did he… I don’t know. I can’t even think of anything he could’ve been doing that would be out of control.”
“I was teaching him to eat.”
“What?” The air went out of my lungs, and a nauseous feeling crept up inside of me. “I thought… I thought he was eating.”
“Out of bags,” he said quietly. “But… he needs to learn how to do it with live… people.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why does he have to know?”
“Because there isn’t always bags, and because it happens, and because when he does it I want to make sure he doesn’t kill somebody.” Saying it made him uncomfortable, but he sounded more angry than he did embarrassed. “As it was, he could’ve killed her tonight. He was going crazy while I was on the phone with you, and I had to stop and show him how so he didn’t break her neck.”
“You had to show him how?” My mouth went dry and I gripped onto the car to keep my hands from shaking. “You bit a girl tonight?”
“I am a vampire, Alice,” Jack sounded weary, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
I remembered how amazing and intense it felt when Peter drank my blood, and how crazed and delirious Jack got just over the taste of it. For vampires, drinking blood from a person was far more intimate than sex. Tonight, Jack had been that intimate with someone else, and it made me sick to my stomach.
“Pull over!” I screamed. The combination of Jack’s confession and the vodka were not mixing well, and I felt like I was going to throw up at any second.
“Alice?”
“Pull over now!”
He pulled sharply onto the grass next to the highway. I opened the car door and swung my legs out. As soon as my bare feet hit the grass, I started to feel better, and the cool night blew against me.
I kept swallowing until I felt like I was okay, then sat back up. I left the door open and my feet in the grass, though, just to be on the safe side.
“Are you okay?” Jack had completely softened from earlier, and he reached out to touch me, but I pulled away.
“I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.”
Closing my eyes, I did my best not to think about Jack biting another girl. To feel that close with somebody, it was impossible to describe. When Peter drank my blood, his heartbeat was my heartbeat. Knowing that Jack was capable of feeling that with anyone else, when he hadn’t even felt that with me…