Gooney Bird's attention was on the car, which had now disappeared around a bend in the road. She was a little worried about the disappearance of the car.
But Catman didn't care about the car. Catman had never liked the car at all. In fact, Catman had hated the car, and he was glad that it had disappeared.
But he was very interested in the cow. Catman had never seen a cow before. Now he watched with fascination as the cow moved slowly toward the other corner of the meadow.
He liked the way the cow walked, heavily and with determination.
He liked the way the cow smelled, of thick, sun-warmed cowhide and meadow flowers.
And, as he scampered along behind the cow and the cow noticed and mooed, Catman liked the way the cow sounded. It was comforting, the low, throaty sound of a moo, and in the background was the buzzing of flies.
Catman began to purr. In the distance, he could hear Gooney Bird calling "Catman! Catman!" But he didn't care. He found himself falling in love with the cow.
"I like romance," Beanie said.
"Me too," Keiko said with a tiny sigh.
Gooney Bird waited a moment, but no one else said anything. She continued the story.
In the evening, the farmer, Mr. Henry Schinhofen, came to the meadow and called the cow. It was time to take her into the barn to be milked.
The cow liked the farmer, who was soft-spoken and kind; and she liked the barn, which was airy and dark and smelled of hay; and she liked being milked, which felt a little like sneezing: something that needs to be done now and then. So she cheerfully followed the farmer when he called her.
Catman cheerfully followed the cow.
Mrs. Clara Schinhofen, the farmer's wife, was feeding the chickens when her husband walked past, leading the cow. "My word," she said. "Look! There's a cat with no tail, following the cow!"
"So there is," said her husband. "Perhaps he is hungry. We should feed him."
They tried to take Catman into the house to be fed, but he refused to leave the cow. So they brought him a bowl of tuna fish and gave it to him in the barn. When Mr. Schinhofen milked the cow, he squirted some into a dish for Catman.
That night, Catman, who was by now completely and hopelessly in love, curled up beside the cow and slept. He has slept there ever since. During the day, he goes to the meadow with the cow, and while the cow eats wildflowers, Catman chases field mice and butterflies, listens to the buzzing of flies, and smells the warm and pleasant odor of cowhide.
Gooney Bird paused. "Questions?" she said.
Keiko raised her hand. "I was waiting for the bad part," she said. "I was going to cover my ears."
"What bad part?" asked Gooney Bird.
"You know," Keiko whispered. "Where the cow ate Catman."
Gooney Bird looked surprised. "The cow didn't eat Catman! The cow hardly notices that Catman is there! The cow eats wildflowers."
"But you said—" Keiko began.
"Yes! You said—" Malcolm called.
Mrs. Pidgeon stood up. "Remember the title of the story, children," she said.
They all tried. "'How a Cow Ate Catman,'" Barry Tuckerman called out.
"'How Catman Got Eaten Up by a Cow,'" Tricia said.
Mrs. Pidgeon shook her head. She picked up her notebook. "I wrote it down," she told them. "'Beloved Catman Is Consumed by a Cow.'"
"Let me finish," Gooney Bird suggested. She went on with the end of the story.
That night the farmer and his wife turned on the TV and saw the interview with the little girl who rode a flying carpet.
"If anybody finds my cat," the little girl (it was Gooney Bird) said, "please call the TV station."
So Mr. Henry Schinhofen, the farmer, called.
"I have that cat here in my barn," he said. "Orange and white cat, no tail.
"But I gotta tell you," he said, "I don't think you'll be able to take it away. It won't leave my cow."
"Won't leave your cow?" the TV lady said. She sounded puzzled.
"Nope," said the farmer. "Wouldn't even leave for tuna fish. We had to take the tuna fish and put it right beside the cow."
"Why?"
"Happens sometimes," the farmer explained. "I'd guess you'd call it something like love. That cat is downright consumed by the cow."
"And is the cow consumed by the cat?" the TV lady asked.
"Nope. The cow doesn't care one way or another. But she doesn't step on the cat. She's a careful cow."
The TV people called Gooney Bird and her parents. They told them where Catman was, and that Catman was consumed by a cow.
So the Greene family drove their car back to the meadow and visited Catman. Catman was nice to them, but they could tell that he was not consumed by the Greene family. He was consumed only by the cow.
So they kissed him goodbye. Then they hugged and kissed the farmer and his wife, and they all sang "Farmer in the Dell" and danced in a circle, on their tiptoes. They all lived happily ever after.
The End
"I love happy endings," Keiko said with a sigh.
"Me too," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "Thank you, Gooney Bird. Let's get out our arithmetic books now, class."
Everyone in the class groaned.
"I know," Mrs. Pidgeon said, laughing. "It's much more fun to listen to Gooney Bird's stories. But we can look forward to tomorrow. She'll have another one tomorrow."
Gooney Bird had gone back to her desk and taken out her arithmetic book. She looked up in surprise. "No, actually I won't," she said. "That was my last story."
The second-graders, almost every one of them, called, "No!" in very loud, sad voices. It sounded like a huge chorus singing a song called "Noooooo!"
Mrs. Pidgeon looked horrified. "But, Gooney Bird!" she said. "We still have a lot of unanswered questions!"
"Like what?" asked Gooney Bird.
"Well, let me think." Mrs. Pidgeon frowned.
"The false teeth!" Nicholas called.
"Yes," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "Why did your father have to pack forty-three sets of false teeth? That's a story you haven't told yet."
Gooney Bird looked surprised. "That's not a story," she said. "That simply requires a dictionary. You have one right there on your desk, Mrs. Pidgeon."