Gooney Bird #2, the car, was having a harder time of it. She owned Atlantic Avenue and Pennsylvania Avenue, and she liked the combination of yellow and green; she also owned both Water Works and the Electric Company, but unfortunately she was in jail.
Suddenly, just as Gooney Bird #2 tried unsuccessfully for the second time to throw doubles and get out of jail, she heard someone calling loudly, "Napoleon is missing!"
It was the prince, who lived next door.
Hands flew up into the air, and Gooney Bird looked impatiently at her classmates.
"Are these really, really important questions?" she asked. "Because I have just barely started the story!"
One by one most of the hands went back down.
Mrs. Pidgeon had picked up the encyclopedia. "Gooney Bird," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "I have a feeling you know this already, but Napoleon Bonaparte—" She turned to the class. "He was the emperor of France," she explained.
"Ooooh," Keiko said. "I love emperors."
Mrs. Pidgeon, still looking at the encyclopedia, went on. "Napoleon was born in 1769. That's more than two hundred years ago."
"Mrs. Pidgeon! Mrs. Pidgeon!" Barry Tuckerman was halfway out of his seat, waving his hand.
"Yes, Barry?"
"My grandmother once saw an emperor butterfly! But now it's extinct! It was purple," Barry Tuckerman said.
Gooney Bird sighed. "Do you want to hear this story or not?" she asked. "I can't wear these earrings all day. They're very heavy."
"Yes, we do," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "Please go on."
"Ready?" Gooney Bird asked the class.
Everyone was ready, so Gooney Bird continued.
"Gooney Bird," the prince called, sounding very distressed, "Napoleon has disappeared! Can you help us find him?"
Gooney Bird carefully tucked all of the Monopoly money under the edge of the board so that it wouldn't blow away. There was a slight breeze. She had had problems with money blowing away in the past. She kept her own money collection, which she carried with her at all times, safely contained in a Ziploc bag.
Then Gooney Bird set out to look for clues that might reveal the whereabouts of Napoleon.
Napoleon was not the emperor of France. He was a large black poodle.
Every hand in the second grade classroom shot up, even Felicia Ann's.
"I knew that would happen," Gooney Bird said. "I just knew it. Time for an intermission. Mrs. Pidgeon, do you want to deal with this?"
Mrs. Pidgeon nodded. She thought for a moment. Then she announced, "Every child who has a poodle, put your hand down."
Four hands went down.
"Now," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "every child whose grandmother has a poodle? Hands down."
Seven more hands were lowered.
"Every child who knows a poodle who does interesting tricks, or who gets into trouble, or who ran away once? Hands down."
Other hands went down, and now there were just three hands still in the air.
"Beanie? What kind of dog do you have?" Mrs. Pidgeon asked.
"Golden retriever."
"That's lovely. Ben?"
"Corgi."
"Good. And finally, Tricia?"
"I don't have a dog," Tricia said sadly. "I'm allergic to dogs. And my mother said I can never, ever have one, or even a cat, not ever, because I might have a terrible asthma attack, and then I would have to go to the hospital, maybe in an ambulance, and—"
"We understand, Tricia. And now let's go back to the story, because we still don't know what happened to Napoleon, or—"
"Or about the palace!" said Keiko. "And the earrings!"
Gooney Bird shook her head a little so that the earrings moved and sparkled in a glamorous way.
"Listen for the word suddenly," Gooney Bird advised. "I put one in the story already, but I like to sprinkle in several. Some other suddenlys will be coming soon."
Gooney Bird examined the prince's back yard. She saw a place where the ground was disturbed by the corner of the fence.
"Look," she said. "See this bit of dog hair caught in the fence? That looks like Napoleon's.
"See?" she said next, pointing to some newly dug earth. "Here is where Napoleon wiggled under the fence."
"What a good detective you are," the prince said to Gooney Bird.
Gooney Bird let herself out of the yard and through the gate. She sniffed. She listened.
Suddenly—
"There's a suddenly!" called Malcolm.
"Good listening," Gooney Bird said. Then she continued.
Suddenly, because of the clues that she smelled and heard, Gooney Bird moved forward. There, at the end of the alley, was an overturned garbage can. And there, with his head inside the can, was Napoleon, eating garbage. He had coffee grounds all over his face, and an orange peel was stuck on one of his ears.
"You naughty thing, Napoleon," Gooney Bird said, and she took hold of his collar. Napoleon burped.
"Oh, no!" Keiko cried. "Not garbage! Not burping!"
"Shhhh," the other children said. Many hands were waving in the air.
Mrs. Pidgeon stood up. "No stories about dogs eating garbage," she said firmly. "Not a single one."
All of the hands went down.
"Please, please, please tell about the palace and the prince and the earrings," Chelsea begged.
"I'm about to," Gooney Bird said.
Gooney Bird took Napoleon back to his house. The prince asked Gooney Bird to go to the palace for a reward.
"Did you get all dressed up in a ball gown?" Beanie asked.
"Maybe a tiara?" asked Tricia.
"I hadn't planned to describe clothes," Gooney Bird said, "but since you asked, I'll insert a little descriptive passage here."
When she went to the palace, Gooney Bird was wearing clothes from the L.L.Bean catalogue. She wore Island Hopper shorts with front flap pockets, and a pointelle knit tank top in Sun Yellow.
The prince had on rugged canvas shorts and polyester and nylon pale khaki plaid short-sleeved...
Malcolm disappeared under his desk. Ben picked up his arithmetic book and began to do some problems. Nicholas put his head down on his arms and closed his eyes.
Gooney Bird stared at them. "Am I boring you?" she asked.