Selena rolled her eyes. “If the sun can disappear, it can reappear. Really, Evie. Duh.” She took out her canteen, trying to open it, about to take the top off with her teeth.
I leaned over and yanked it from her. What was I going to do with this girl? “Here.” I handed it back, opened for her.
She chugged, swiping her coat sleeve over her chin. “Hey, drop back a little. Want to talk to you.”
Was she finally going to confide in me about her ordeal? I’d asked her a few times, but she always refused. “Anything you want to discuss, Selena. I’m here.”
“Not about . . . that. I’ve put that time out of my head.” The circles under her eyes belied her nonchalance.
“You can’t just ignore it.”
Her signature the hell expression firmly in place, she said, “Do you think about the cannibals you laid out? Or the time you almost ate raw human? Or the plague victims you offed? Yeah, I heard about that. You don’t dwell on painful stuff. Neither will I.”
I hadn’t given up on getting her to confide in me, but I backed off for now. “Then what’s on your mind?”
“What’s going on with you and Jack?”
Excellent question from the Archer. “Well, we talked after his speech, about the past few days and such.” Without a word, he’d led me behind a tent. . . .
“How you leaning, peekôn?”
“I wish you hadn’t broken your promise to me.” He kept risking his life, going above and beyond, and I wasn’t having it.
“These Azey soldiers respond to courage, and they needed to see it in someone they might back. Can you understand my thinking?”
I could. At so many points in this journey, I’d marveled at Jack’s bravery. Though he was vulnerable, he put himself out there. Death was impervious, yet he only wanted to return to his sanctuary.
However . . . “And in the Shrine, Jack? What was that?”
Color tinged his cheeks. “I’ve probably done smarter things, me.”
“If I picture us together, I see us working as a team, making decisions together. Not this Jack-runs-off-to-save-the-day shit.” Otherwise, I should be with Death. Who at least was doing better—not worse. . . .
Now I batted away a wisp of ash, telling Selena, “He and I discussed my grandmother. I still want to find her, but Azey South’s marching tomorrow.”
Jack had grinned at my concern. “I can give them damn directions, Evie. Me and you’ll take some men and head to the Outer Banks. After we find her, we’ll meet up with the others in Louisiana.” He sounded so confident. “You want to end the game, Evangeline? Then we will. Remember, together we can do anything. . . .”
“Then Jack and I touched on other stuff.” Such as him finding something meaningful with the babe beside me.
He pinned my gaze with his own. “Selena’s an ally and a friend, but she’ll never be more than that. Because it’s you for me, peekôn.” He curled his finger under my chin. “When she’s nearby, she doan make everything in me light up like goddamned fireworks. You think I can give her my heart? After I already gave it to you? I can’t offer what I doan have.”
I cleared my throat, face flushing under Selena’s scrutiny. “And, uh, we discussed Death.”
“If you choose the Reaper because you feel more for him, then I got to accept that, me. But doan choose him because you got sympathy for someone with a shit fate.” He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against mine. “I got one too.”
“What does that mean?”
“I told you I couldn’t keep doing life after the Flash, not without you. That’s changed. I will go on—’cause I got a job to do now—but I will never be right. I’ve got to feel you with my every step, Evangeline.”
I managed a casual shrug for the Archer. “We didn’t get to talk long. Rodrigo needed him for that Shrine incursion meeting.” Jack had pressed a kiss to the top of my head, then reluctantly left me.
“Uh-huh. And did you talk to Death?”
“Briefly. He was scarce for most of the night.” At every opportunity, he read those chronicles, looking more engrossed than I’d ever seen him. Translating them must be critical, because his campaign to win me had taken a backseat.
When I caught up with him, I’d pressed him to tell me about his history with the Emperor.
“I can deny you nothing,” Aric said with a defeated exhalation. “In the game before last, he killed you. I hadn’t found you yet, hadn’t had a chance to determine what you were like. Or if we could be together.” He clenched his fists, his eyes gone starry. “The Emperor murdered my wife.”
“Who took him out?”
“I did. To avenge you and punish him for separating us. In that game, I harvested your icon from him.” Aric’s voice went hoarse as he gazed down at his hand. “I stared at it as centuries passed me by.”
So what would Aric do now if I chose to be with Jack?
“You’ve got a decision to make.” Selena handed me back the canteen to close. “And frankly, I don’t see what the issue is.”
With all honesty, I told her, “The issue is that I don’t know what’s going on in my head right now.”
“Well, figure it the hell out.”
I waved airily. “There! Done. Voilà.”
“Seriously, if you can figure out how to get Dom nija and J.D. to ride together and be civil, this should be cake.”
I sighed, about to tell her it was complicated, brushing her off. But how could I expect her to confide in me when I wouldn’t do the same in return? “I love Jack. But I have a connection to Aric.” One forged over millennia, like an endless wave along a shore.
Today, he’d gazed at me, but not with his usual confidence. He’d looked shaken—as if he suspected I was drawing away. But I wasn’t. My heart remained divided. “I . . . I think I’ve fallen for him as well.” He’d come so far, had made such strides. I believed he could be a good partner for me.
If he didn’t turn to coercion again. I dreaded the trick up his sleeve.
“Shit, girl. What’d you go and do that for?”
I glared. “Like I could help it?” My dreams of both of them had given me glimpses into how they’d become the men they were today. But those dreams hadn’t helped me come to a decision.