gothblood4567: lol
so i killed my screenname and resurrected myself under another. isaac’s the only person who knows it, and it’s going to stay that way.
I check my email and it’s mostly spam. what i want to know is this: is there really someone in the whole world who gets an email from [email protected], reads it, and says to himself, ‘you know, what i really need to do is enlarge my penis 33%, and the way to do it would be to send $69.99 to that nice lady ilena at VIRILITY MAXI-MUS CORP via this handy internet link!’ if people are actually falling for that, it’s not their dicks they should be worried about.
I have a friend request from some stranger on facebook and i delete it without looking at the profile because that doesn’t seem natural. ’cause friendship should not be as easy as that. it’s like people believe all you need to do is like the same bands in order to be soulmates. or books. omg . . . U like the outsiders 2 . . . it’s like we’re the same person! no we’re not. it’s like we have the same english teacher. there’s a difference.
It’s almost four and isaac’s usually on by now. i do that stupid reward thing with my homework - it’s like if i look up what date the mayans invented toothpicks, i can check to see if isaac’s online yet. then if i read three more paragraphs about the importance of pottery in indigenous cultures, i can check my yahoo account. and finally if i finish answering all three of these questions and isaac isn’t on yet, then i can jerk off again.
I’m only halfway through answering the first question, some bullshit about why mayan pyramids are so much cooler than egyptian ones, when i cheat and look at my buddy list and see that isaac’s name is there. i’m about to think why hasn’t he IM’ed me? when the box appears on the screen. like he’s read my mind.
boundbydad: u there?
grayscale: yes!
boundbydad: ☺
grayscale: ☺ x 100
boundbydad: i’ve been thinking about you all day
grayscale: ???
boundbydad: only good things
grayscale: that’s too bad ☺
boundbydad: depends on what you think of as good
☺☺
It’s been like this from the beginning. just being comfortable. i was a little freaked out at first by his screenname, but he quickly told me it was because his name was isaac, and ultimatelymydadchosetokillthegoatinsteadofme was too long to be a good screenname. he asked me about my old screenname, finalwill, and i told him my name was will, and that’s how we started to get to know each other. we were in one of those lame chatrooms where it falls completely silent every ten seconds until someone goes ‘anyone in here?’ and other people are like ‘yeah’ ‘yup’ ‘here!’ without saying anything. we were supposed to be in a forum for this singer i used to like, but there wasn’t much to say about him except which songs were better than the other songs. it was really boring, but it’s how isaac and i met, so i guess we’ll have to hire the singer to play at our wedding or something. (that is so not funny.)
soon we were swapping pictures and mp3s and telling each other about how everything pretty much sucked, but of course the ironic part was that while we were talking about it the world didn’t suck as much. except, of course, for the part at the end when we had to return to the real world.
It is so unfair that he lives in ohio, because that should be close enough, but since neither of us drives and neither of us would ever in a million years say, ‘hey, mom, do you want to drive me across indiana to see a boy?,’ we’re kind of stuck.
grayscale: i’m reading about the mayans.
boundbydad: angelou?
grayscale: ???
boundbydad: nevermind. we skipped the mayans. we only read ‘american’ history now.
grayscale: but aren’t they in the americas? boundbydad: not according to my school. **groans** grayscale: so who did you almost kill today?
grayscale: and by ‘kill,’ i mean ‘wish would disappear,’ just in case this conversation is being monitored by administrators
boundbydad: potential body count of eleven. twelve if you count the cat.
grayscale: . . . or homeland security
grayscale: goddamn cat!
boundbydad: goddamn cat!
I haven’t told anyone about isaac because it’s none of their business. i love that he knows who everyone is but nobody knows who he is. if i had actual friends that i felt i could talk to, this might cause some conflict. but since right now there’d only need to be one car to take people to my funeral, i think it’s okay.
eventually isaac has to go, because he isn’t really supposed to be using the computer at the music store where he works. lucky for me that it doesn’t seem to be a busy music store, and his boss is like a drug dealer or something and is always leaving isaac in charge while he goes out to ‘meet some people.’
I step away from the computer and finish my homework quickly. then i go in the den and turn on law & order, since the only thing i can really count on in life is that whenever i turn on the tv there will be a law & order episode. this time it’s the one with the guy who strangles blonde after blonde after blonde, and even though i’m pretty sure i’ve seen it like ten times already, i’m watching it like i don’t know that the pretty reporter he’s talking to is about to have the curtain cord around her neck. i don’t watch that part, because it’s really stupid, but once the police catch the guy and the trial’s going on, they’re all
lawyer: dude, the cord knocked this microscopic piece of skin off your hand while you were strangling her, and we ran it under the microscope and found out that you’re totally f**ked.
you gotta know he wishes he’d worn gloves, although the gloves probably would’ve left fibers, and he would’ve been totally f**ked anyway. when that’s all over, there’s another episode i don’t think i’ve seen before, until this celebrity runs over a baby in his hummer and i’m like, oh, it’s the one where the celebrity runs over the baby in his hummer. i watch it anyway, because it’s not like i have anything better to do. then mom comes home and finds me there and it’s like we’re a rerun, too.
mom: how was your day?
me: mom, i’m watching tv.
mom: will you be ready for dinner in fifteen minutes?
me: mom, i’m watching tv!
mom: well, set the table during the commercials.