"Drive a truck."
"Have you ever noticed anything unusual about Linda?"
"What do you mean?"
"Besides attending UFO conventions, does she do anything else odd?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"She stares at the sky at night a lot."
"How often?"
"Every night."
"Does she tell you why?"
"No."
"Do you ask?"
"No."
"When do you expect her back?"
"In two days."
"The convention runs until then?"
"Yes, I think."
"Does Linda have any family?"
"No. They are all dead."
"Every one of them?"
"Yes. Everyone."
"Bill, I am going to leave now but I might be back later. Until I return, I want you to forget I was ever here. I never existed. If someone should ask you if a stranger was here, just say no. Do you understand?"
"All right."
"Also, if Linda should fail to come home, don't worry about her. Get yourself another girl. She is not so important. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good." I stand and step over and turn the TV back on. "Goodbye, Bill."
He glances up from the game. He doesn't even realize I interrupted it. "Goodbye," he says.
There is a plane leaving for Phoenix in fifty minutes and I get on it. Linda's newsletters have told me where the FOF convention is being heldaHoliday Inn beside a busy freeway. Once in Phoenix, I rent a Jeep and drive to the hotel, but all the rooms are taken. Taking a room at a nearby hotel, I shower and then go for a walk in the desert. Perhaps the UFO freaks took a hotel near the edge of town so they could look at the night sky. It is lateIstudy the stars as I walk, but nothing flies down from the sky to whisk me away. Yet I feel no pleasure beneath the heavens. A past I cannot remember haunts me.
"We are of an ancient tradition. Our line is mingled with yours, and with that of others. We hold all powers."
Still, Linda wanted more of my blood, if she had any of it to begin with. Yet she must have had something unique. She was fast and strong, more powerful than virtually any vampire Yaksha made. Plus she had technology that put the government's most secret toys to shame. But so many of her answers had made no sense. What did she want to initiate me into?
"But to join us you must sacrifice him. It is part of your initiation."
It was almost as if she wanted to introduce me to the black mass.
I know about such things, sexual magic, from the past.
The torture and the blood, the sudden awakenings.
But I have not thought of them in a long time.
I find a sandy bluff and sit atop it to mentally survey my life, trying to find a point where my blood could have been taken without my knowledge. But except for Arturo and his alchemy, I think, my blood has always been mine to do with as I chose. Yet a faint feeling of dread sweeps over me as I look back. My shadow is long and dark. In it could lie secrets, hidden from even me, where blood was exchanged and vows were pledged that my conscious memory never recorded. It is as if I sense a blank spot, a place of reality that wasn't real after all. But I only sense its existenceIdon't see it. I have to wonder if my imagination leads me to a wall of illusion. My thoughts are never far from those I left behind in Tahoe: John, Seymour, Paula. But Paula swears they are safe there, for now, and she should know. She who has deep visions.
A shooting star crosses the sky and I make a wish.
"Krishna," I whisper, "don't let me die until I have set right what I made wrong."
Suzama's words are with me. God's plan.
Somehow I know it was me who messed it up.
Maybe that's what she had been trying to tell me.
Maybe that was why she sent me away.
4
The next morning I am at the FOF convention in the Holiday Inn, milling around the many booths, poking my head in on lectures. The attendance is substantial, at least two thousand people. The crowd is pretty evenly divided between males and females, but otherwise the cross section is peculiar. There are, for want of a better expression, a lot of nerds here. Many are overweight and wear thick glasses. These are true believers, no doubt about it. The saucers are coming and they are prepared. In fact, they believe they are already here. Eavesdropping on their jumbled thoughts, I soon get a headache.
I sense no superbeings in the vicinity, yet I don't drop my guard. If this convention was important to Linda, there is somebody significant here. If only I knew who. Besides thoughts, I listen to heartbeats, trying to find physiologies that mimic mine. But there is nothing here but pure humanity.
The talks are boring, discussions of different sightings that have about as much credibility as reports of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. As I sit through one, yawning, I think about what I should have done with myl ife. Retired to a remote spot to spend a year building toys and baking goodies, which I would deliveronce a year to the needy. At least then I could have given vampires a better name.
Yet there is a lecture at the end of the day that catches my eye. It is entitled: "Control Versus AnarchyAn Interstellar Dilemma." The speaker is to be Dr. Richard Stoon, a parapsychologist from Duke University. He has a list of impressive academic credentials beside his name, but it is really the buzz of the crowd that draws me to the talk. They have been waiting for this guy. I hear them whispering to one another. Dr. Stoon is supposed to be brilliant, charismatic, unorthodox. It is the last lecture of the convention, and I take a seat at the back of the audience and wait for Dr. Stoon to enter.
Beside me sits a pale blond woman, with a waist as small as my own, and clear blue eyes. She has a kind smile and I quickly scan her mind, detecting nothing more than a day job at a boring office, and a husband who has just been laid off. She appears to be in her early twenties but could be older. Noticing my scrutiny, she glances over and brightens.
"Hello," she said with a southern accent. "It's been a fun convention, hasn't it?"
"I haven't been here for the whole thing. I just caught today."
"Have you heard Dr. Stoon speak before?'"
"This will be my first time. What's he like?"
"Very forceful, opinionated." She pauses. "He's interesting but to tell the truth he is awfully arrogant."