I’m pretty sure she’s going to test me again.
I dread the thought of the Array returning, especially now that I’m back home with Teri and Matt. I still don’t know what the damn thing is, whether it’s tied to Brutran’s presence or not. Do I have to be in the same room for her to psychically attack? Is she the channel through which the power comes? In the end, one thing worries me the most. . . .
Can the witch, at a distance, force me do something I don’t want to do?
I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid of the Array. It scares me worse than the assassin that came for me. At least he was a visible foe. True, he was a virtual superman, but he was alive, in a physical body that I could kill, and kill him I did. But my one-time resistance of the Array counts for nothing.
I know I didn’t damage it. Besides, it was only by an act of Krishna’s grace that I survived the initial attack. I have no doubt that if I had not thought of him at that last instant, I’d be dead now. Somehow, Krishna heard my prayer and answered.
The fact deepens my faith and my confusion. I remember, in ancient India, how famous Krishna was for his mischievous nature. So he helped me ward off the Array this one time. It’s unlikely he’ll help me again. There’s one thing I’ve learned in my long life. You can’t count on grace; it doesn’t follow a schedule. I’d be a fool to think God’s going to keep saving my ass.
I can imagine Krishna laughing at me this instant.
It’s your problem, Sita. Deal with it.
I warned Brutran to leave Shanti and Lisa alone, but I doubt she’ll obey. Out of fear for their lives, I bring the women to Missouri and move them into a nearby condo. Shanti’s uncle protests his niece’s relocation until I explain that—besides being an FBI agent—I’m super wealthy and can afford to pay for reconstructive surgery on her face.
Lisa and Shanti form a tight bond. It’s Lisa who accompanies the girl on her trips to a superb clinic I’ve found in Memphis. Shanti’s doctors schedule a dozen preliminary surgeries, but cut the number in half when they see how fast she heals. Of course, they have no idea, nor does Shanti, that I often rub a diluted form of my blood on her face in the middle of the night when she’s asleep. There’s no chance it will change her into a vampire, but it might give her a chance at a normal life. Even I’m surprised when sight begins to return to her right eye.
Despite the care Lisa showers on Shanti, I find it difficult to keep our resident mathematician happy. I understand how the woman feels. She’s lost her boyfriend, she’s been uprooted from her home, and she’s hiding from an enemy she’s not fully convinced will attack her. However, I know Brutran wants Lisa dead. I tell her that her boss told me so, but she only half believes me.
To calm her restlessness, she gets a part-time job tutoring math students at Truman College. She does so under her real name. I’ve dropped the whole hiding routine. I’m convinced Brutran knows exactly where we are and there’s no point in pretending otherwise. That’s not to say we won’t hit the road again in the future, if the need arises. For now I rely on Brutran’s fear of my ability to resist the Array to keep the woman at bay.
We’ve created a dangerous balance that can’t last.
A day will come when one of us will attack the other.
I hear from my sources that Joe Henderson of Fairfield, Iowa, is dead. His arm got caught in a machine that harvests corn and tore the limb off. He bled to death in his wife’s arms. The local authorities are convinced it was an accident. I beg to differ. To me, it’s another example of Brutran destroying an unnecessary tool.
Marko’s death is a reminder of the woman’s cruelty.
I ask Shanti to keep my FBI dealings secret from the others, and she does so without question. She’s not naive, she simply trusts me. I even tell Shanti my real name. Lisa’s another matter. She’s too intellectual to blindly follow someone else. I have to keep reminding her not to discuss IIC around Teri and Matt.
The problem is, all five of us have become friends. The situation has its positive and negative sides. It’s nice to have a family of sorts around me. For the first time in ages, I don’t feel lonely. I love listening to Matt’s music, staring at his magnificent body. Just as I enjoy sharing in Teri’s dream of going to the Olympics. Plus it brings me incredible happiness to see Shanti’s face healing. Even hard-to-handle Lisa is a welcome addition. Besides being a math genius, she has a sharp wit. Fortunately, I’m the only one who notices the major crush she has on Matt.
But how can I blame Lisa? I’m in the same boat.
He’s so damn handsome, and talented, and charismatic. Other than his stubbornness, he’s practically perfect. But if he knows about the effect he has on us poor lovesick girls, he’s a master at playing dumb. He just goes about his business, writing music, playing his nightly gigs, taking care of Teri. One afternoon, on the spur of the moment, I swing by their place and catch them making love. I’m amazed at how jealous I feel.
He’s a big help to Teri when she hits the track. He times each 400-meter and 200-meter interval she runs, and records her progress in a daily diary. When she finishes working out, he always gives her a long massage, carefully kneading out any cramps, so she can recover faster and train even harder the next day.
Yet he cannot give her the edge that I can.
Should I give her my blood or not?
I debate the matter furiously.
The NCAA championships, a prelude to the Olympic trials, arrive soon. They’re in Chicago, and we all travel to watch Teri run the metric mile, the 1500-meter race. Shanti’s in between surgeries and feeling sore, but the night before we leave for Chicago I rub an extra dose of blood on her incisions, and she awakens without pain and decides to accompany us.
Giving Shanti a few drops of my blood is an act of mercy. It aids her recovery and frees her of the majority of her suffering. Simply by gazing at her as she lies in bed, I make sure she remains asleep while I administer my blood.
But to substantially improve Teri’s mile time, I’ll have to put my blood directly inside her veins. I can do this without her knowledge by hypnotizing her, as long as Matt is not around. However, I struggle over the morality of the act. Teri wouldn’t want to win by cheating. I’ve heard her harsh words against those who use steroids to improve their times. Yet I feel too much like her mom to let her go down in miserable defeat.