I stumble on the path. Brutran has to reach out to steady me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
“You’ve heard the name before. Tell me.”
“It just reminds me of the Bible.”
“About Lucifer being the Light Bearer?”
“Yes.”
Brutran stares at me in the dark. “You know more than you’re telling me. I wish it didn’t have to be that way between us.”
“You’re not exactly the sort I would confide in.”
“Right now, I’m telling you things I’ve told no one else. Not even my own husband.”
“But I’m your enemy. You said it yourself. I want to destroy you. Why are you confiding in me?”
She lets go of my arm and continues down the path. “Let me finish my story. Tarana became the focal point of my research. The Array began to channel him exclusively. His knowledge was breathtaking. He taught me simple herbal formulas and physical and mental exercises to halt the aging process. He explained how best to choose candidates for the Array. He even gave me lessons in management. IIC was organized under his directions.”
“You speak of him like he was your mentor.”
“In a sense, he was.”
“He wasn’t real! He was just your subconscious speaking. Or else the combined subconscious of every kid in your Array. He wasn’t the Light Bearer.”
“You say that like you’re trying to convince yourself. If you don’t believe me, then maybe you should have another talk with Freddy. Oh, I don’t suppose he told you how often he came to me for Tarana’s insights on how to make his astrological system work. It was Tarana who dictated the bulk of the planetary influences that Freddy came to depend upon.”
“Freddy said he pinpointed the influences by using the lives of thousands of people as examples. He told us how he wrote computer programs designed to find patterns in their lives.”
“Sure, Freddy did all those things. After he asked me, and Tarana, what to look for.”
“Freddy said you stole his system.”
“Nonsense. I stopped supporting him and he ended up on the street. I’m not saying he isn’t creative. He has one of the most imaginative minds I’ve ever encountered. But when it comes to reality, he’s a failure.”
“So says the woman who talks to spirits. If Freddy was such a failure, why did you have another child with him?”
“Jolie was an accident.”
“You forget, I’ve met Jolie. She was no accident. She was one of those kids that was designed to be born at a certain time and place so she could be used to focus the mind-warping power of your goddamn Cradle.”
My last remark is an educated guess but I can tell from Brutran’s reaction that I’ve scored a bull’s-eye. She looks devastated. I don’t care. I take advantage of the vulnerable moment and try to discover what I need to know.
“Freddy was more than creative,” I say. “He was your example of what a true psychic could do when channeling the full power of the Array. What he did to Tom’s heart was your inspiration for the Cradle. I bet the same day Tom was fighting for his life in the hospital, you were thinking what an awesome weapon the Array could be turned into. If the others would just leave you alone to play with it.”
“The others you speak of all joined me when I founded IIC.”
“Which reminds me. Where are Noel and Wendy?”
“They left the company two years ago.”
“And they’re still alive?”
“Yes.” She pauses. “Don’t look so surprised.”
“But I am surprised,” I say.
“That’s silly. You know . . . Freddy has resisted me from day one and I’ve never harmed him.”
“He doesn’t count! You love Freddy! You cheat on your husband to be with him.”
“What I do in my personal life is no concern of yours.”
“This entire conversation is about how your personal life has led you to create a monster that even you are losing control of. Admit it, isn’t that what your story is leading up to? I’ve only realized it now myself. You’re not lying when you say you don’t know who the mole in my group is. Or who ordered the Cradle to attack my friend on the mountain. You don’t know because others have taken over your organization!”
Brutran stops walking and stands deflated. The pin I hoped to use to pop her ego has struck deeper. My words are like a needle through her heart. She doesn’t even try to fight me.
“You’re right, I have lost control,” she says.
“To the kids in the Cradle? Or just to those who control the Lens?”
“Both and neither.”
“You’re not saying it’s Tarana?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. It’s whatever stands over the kids when they gather to invoke the Cradle. It’s that power, or those beings, that have taken over.”
“Those beings? What beings?”
Brutran shakes her head. “It all goes back to the questions we asked Professor Sharp the first day he spoke to us about creating an array. What is the nature of the consciousness we’ll tap into? Is it individual or universal? Is it good or is it evil? Back then we used to discuss these issues late into the night. We were like a bunch of pseudophilosophers, safe in the certainty that nothing really bad could happen to us.”
“Hold on a second. I’m not buying this one-eighty you’re trying to pull. Suddenly you’re acting like the victim, when you’re the one who set all this in motion. Hell, the night I came to your house you forced me to put a loaded gun in my mouth. If not for Krishna, and maybe some dumb luck, I would have pulled that trigger. And I know damn well you wouldn’t have shed a tear while you wiped up my bloody brains.”
“The Cradle ordered your execution, not me.”
“I don’t believe you. You created the Cradle.”
“Professor Sharp, Freddy, and yes, I, Cynthia Brutran, helped bring it to life. But I see now that Tarana and creatures like him were behind it from the start.”
“Now you sound like one of those religious nuts who blames the devil for every mishap in the world. How convenient, Satan made me do it. Don’t accept any personal responsibility for how many people the IIC has killed.”
“Stop!” Brutran shouts as she tries to slap me. But I’m much too fast for her, and catch her hand before it can approach my face. The fury in her eyes doesn’t surprise me, but the stark fear does. Damn it, the bitch is still telling the truth, or at least her version of it.
“I know what I’ve done!” she says. “I don’t deny that I’ve always craved money and power. But that doesn’t make me any different from the majority of politicians and CEOs in this country. And if you’re thinking about giving me a lecture on how those people don’t kill others, save it. They make decisions every day that result in more deaths than I have ever caused.”
“Fine. You’re evil. But it’s okay because all powerful people are.”
“Nothing in my life is okay. From the start, I chose a path that was selfish. I admit that. But I never expected to end up where I’m at now. My life has become a waking nightmare.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic.”
She lets out a bitter laugh. “You think I’m being melodramatic? When you burst in my office the other day and released the virus, there was a part of me that thought, ‘Thank God, it will soon be over.’ I almost didn’t make a deal with you for that reason.”
“But you did deal. You can’t be as depressed as you say.”
“Whatever you think of me, I still feel a responsibility for the people who work for me. They trust me with their lives. I made a deal with you to protect them from the virus. And I agreed to join forces with you because you’re probably the only one who can destroy the Telar.” She stops. “And the Cradle.”
“You would kill your own daughter?”
In response, Brutran slowly lifts the front of her blouse. She wears a bra underneath but it does nothing to hide the extensive scarring. Her entire abdomen is worse off than Shanti’s face used to be.
“What happened?” I ask.
“When my daughter was three she asked if she could stay up all night and watch TV. Like any decent mother, I told her no, she had to go to bed. A short time later I felt a thick psychic fist descend. I lost all control. When the command came to light a candle and burn the skin off my abdomen, I obeyed. Jolie showed me no mercy. It didn’t matter how much I screamed and begged for her to stop.” Brutran pauses. “Do you still think I’m being melodramatic?”
“She did all this without the Cradle?”
“Yes. Or at least, I think so.”
“How long did it take for you to recover?”
“I’m still recovering. I’m in constant pain. I’m addicted to OxyContin. I’ve built up an incredible tolerance. I have to take three hundred milligrams a day just to cope.”