“I think we’d better stop,” I said shakily.
Before I forget that breeding is a bad idea for a Huntress. A few more minutes and I wouldn’t care at all about how a brat would change my life. He didn’t protest when I withdrew, but his hands trembled, which meant sparking had the same effect on him. That reaction made me feel better about having such poor control over my softer instincts. I smiled to show I didn’t mind.
“Don’t go to bed yet,” he whispered.
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
We had spent more nights together than apart, at this point. In fact, when we first arrived in Salvation, I found it difficult to sleep alone. I was used to Fade, Tegan, and Stalker camped out nearby. I wasn’t accustomed to silence and privacy, and I’d found it lonely. Though I had acclimated to my own bed, my own space, I still wished some nights to find Fade within arm’s reach, so I could watch him sleep, his lashes curled like dark fans on his cheeks.
“What now, then?” I could tell from his expression that he was having a hard time not reaching for me, and I wanted to be close to him, but it wasn’t smart. If he started again with the kissing, I’d let it go further than it should. My common sense had already packed a bag, prepared to abandon me for the evening. Luckily, I had an alternative in mind.
“There’s something I always wanted to do,” I confessed.
Fascination flared in his night-sky eyes. “What?”
In answer, I sat on the sofa and beckoned him over. “Lay down and put your head in my lap.”
It took him a moment to find a comfortable position, but he managed it on his side, facing me, his head resting on my thighs. I exhaled in contentment and sank my hands in his silky, shaggy hair. I had touched it before, of course, but not at length, or at my leisure. In long, soothing strokes, I feathered my fingers down his forehead, temples, cheeks, and back up again. I traced the arch of his brows and the bridge of his nose. Once, I would never have permitted myself so much contact; I believed tenderness was for Breeders only.
But Fade needed this as much as I did.
“You always wanted to pet me?” he asked, his tone a sleepy sweetness.
“Is that all right?”
“It’s … perfect.” He was smiling when he went to sleep, and I held him, thinking there was nothing I wouldn’t do for this boy.
Pressure
The sky was dark when I woke. I had a crick in my neck from holding Fade all night, but he slept on, as deep in dreams as I’d ever seen him. In these quiet, covert moments, he was wholly mine. No defenses, no pretense. And so I brushed his hair back, then traced the elegant line of his brows. His eyelids fluttered, and if I could’ve kissed them without waking him, I would have. I restrained the impulse because I sensed it had been a long time since he rested this well.
From across the room, a pair of shiny new boots sat on the bottom stair, which meant Edmund worked until he finished them, came home to find us curled up like puppies, and didn’t say a word about it. I imagined him watching us, his face soft, and then leaving the present where I’d see it. Tears simmered in my eyes. Silently, I slipped out from beneath Fade, trading a pillow for my lap, and went to get my gift.
Hugging the boots to my chest, I headed to the kitchen. I hated putting them down, even to fix a quiet meal. There was always fresh bread and butter, along with a red and gooey spread Momma Oaks called strawberry jam. I didn’t light the stove because that would wake my foster parents, and Edmund must’ve gotten precious little sleep. This would be good, more than we’d had some mornings as we traveled. As I spread the butter and jam, I remembered days when we’d eaten nothing but a handful of charred rabbit.
Once I finished preparing breakfast, I carried two plates to the sitting room. I woke Fade with a hand on his shoulder, and to my pleasure, he didn’t reach for his weapons. He only gazed up at me with a drowsy, questioning smile. I saw the moment he recognized me, and his eyes brightened.
“I could get used to this,” he whispered.
Vaguely embarrassed by the melting warmth in my stomach, I shot him a look. “Don’t.”
His smile widened into a grin as he eased upright and took the food. I ate quickly and in silence, knowing we needed to wash up and collect our things. It wouldn’t do for us to turn up late on the first day. That reminded me too much of our initial patrol down below. Squashing the ache that rose up at the thought of my lost friends, I took the dishes to the kitchen and pumped a basin of water. Fade took his turn first, bathing with a cloth in the kitchen. I did not stand in the sitting room, imagining the fabric tracing over his chest. When he came to the doorway, I took my turn. I dressed in a tunic and trousers, then drew on my new boots. Gorgeous. Afterward, we grabbed our belongings and headed for the barracks.
By this time, the sky was lightening along the edges, showing glimmers of copper and rose. The colors burst in layers, a skyward delicacy that never failed to steal my breath. Soon, the sun would sting my eyes, but this quiet prelude to day’s full onslaught offered the most perfect beauty I had found Topside.
“Nervous?” Fade walked beside me, matching his strides to mine.
“A little,” I admitted. “This will be worse than anything we’ve faced in Salvation … and we’ve been living soft for a while.”
I hadn’t forgotten the hardship of the tunnels or scavenging in the ruins while hiding from the gangs. Nor had the privation of the long journey dimmed in my mind. But, perversely, I took pride in what we’d suffered because we’d come through with only our weapons and our teamwork.
He nodded. “No shelter, but the weather will be good. It’s warmer each day.”
“I’m more concerned about establishing the outpost on a defensible site.”
Fade thought about that and then said, “Longshot seems like he knows what he’s doing.”
“That’s the only bright spot.” If they’d put someone else in charge of this project, I doubted it had any chance of success.
The town was quiet at this hour; we saw only guards stirring, some on the walls, and others on the way to the barracks. I nodded in greeting to a few. When we arrived, half of the team had already assembled, but they were still waiting on the rest. Relief flowed smooth and sweet as honey. At least we wouldn’t start off the assignment on Longshot’s bad side. Not that I thought he was as touchy as Silk. He didn’t seem to possess much sense of his own importance.