“It seems to be working.” It was a good plan. The rest of our schoolmates had lost interest as soon as I proved willing to dance just like any other girl.
But afterward, it was like Terrence had opened the door, and once cracked, curiosity poured through. The one who had been cruel didn’t ask, of course, but others did. I danced with five boys before Fade lost patience and reclaimed my hand. This was proper exercise, I thought, breathless from all the twirling.
“Told you,” he muttered. “Now I won’t get another moment alone with you.”
“You could ask for one.” My voice came out husky because if we slipped away, privacy would lead to more kissing. Shivers of anticipation curled through me.
“Want to go for a walk?”
I nodded, and his fingers threaded through mine in an unmistakable claim as he led me away from the green.
Endless
I followed Fade through town, expecting we’d wind up in the swing behind my house, but instead he led me in a direction that became more familiar with each step. In time, he stopped at the unfinished house where I’d trained with Stalker, before I realized those midnight visits gave him ideas.
“Shall we go inside?” I asked softly, wondering if he’d stumbled on this spot by coincidence or if he had a motive for bringing me here.
“Is there some reason we shouldn’t?”
I shook my head.
Fade crept up to the window. “I’ll go in first and unlatch the door for you.”
When I’d come with Stalker, we both went in that way, but I wasn’t dressed for climbing. So I nodded and pressed close to the frame, hoping nobody would spot me; I felt conspicuous in my blue dress. The wait quickened my heartbeat, making the minor misdeed more exciting. Soon, Fade pulled me into the cool, dark house. At once, I saw evidence of the errand he’d mentioned earlier and wondered if my foster father would approve.
Spread on the dusty floor was the blanket he’d carried from down below, and he had scrounged a candle for each corner of the cover. Smiling, he got out the device he’d inherited from his sire; in the tunnels, he clicked it when he was nervous, so it threw sparks in the dark. This time he held it longer … and the candles glowed into lovely, glimmering life.
“You were pretty sure you could get me here,” I observed.
“Just good planning. Besides, you suggested we take some time to ourselves.”
I eyed him warily, despite the romantic scene. “What do you think we’re doing on that bedroll?”
“Sitting. It would be a shame if you got your dress dirty.”
He had a point; if I came home grubby, Momma Oaks would demand to know what I’d been doing. “And the candles?”
“I want to see your face. Do you trust me?”
In answer I offered my hand, and he drew me down beside him. The cover was big enough for both of us as long as I sat close, and Fade showed no intention of letting me put any distance between us. He wound his arms about me and cuddled me to his chest. When he tugged me closer still, I settled between his legs, both nervous and excited. His warm breath stirred my curls, misted my neck, and I shivered.
“Cold?”
“No.” In fact, I might have a fever. The chills got worse when he ran his palms up my bare arms.
“I can’t believe you’re here with me,” he whispered in my ear.
“Where else would I be?”
“Here with him.” Fade paused. “Again.”
The good feelings died away, replaced with dread. I sat very still. “How do you know—”
“Because I saw you. It wasn’t just my smart mouth that drove Jensen crazy, Deuce. Some nights I’d sneak out, wondering what the two of you were doing in here. And why it wasn’t me.”
A moment of shock held me motionless. This was the deep-seated doubt Fade had never been able to bring himself to voice. It had been eating at him for months, and he’d finally decided to confront me here. I might have feared his purpose, but I did trust him … and I had no dark secret to confess.
“He caught you?” I guessed.
I felt his jerky nod. “But I never broke. I never told him what I was doing. No matter what.”
At that moment, I hurt so bad I thought my heart would crack in two. He’d kept my secret so I didn’t get in trouble, even when he thought I was doing who knew what with a boy he hated. That loyalty terrified me, even as I exulted in it; I’d try to be worthy of such devotion.
“I would’ve understood if you told,” I whispered. “I can take my own whippings.”
He shifted, pulling me into his lap fully so he could see my face. “Whether you can isn’t the point. I’ll always have your back.”
Even when we aren’t talking, even when you doubt me. Oh, Fade. Some might argue that if he didn’t track my movements at night, he wouldn’t have been caught, and his punishment would’ve been less severe, but I suspected that Jensen was a mean man when he was in the corn liquor, and he’d have found another reason to hurt Fade.
“Why did you follow me?” I asked then.
He hunched his shoulders. “If Stalker tried something you didn’t want and you needed help, I’d be here, just in case.”
“To protect me?”
“Yes. Always.” He was unshakable on that point, and it was sweet, except I could take care of myself.
I appreciated the intent even as I said, “I was fine.”
“What does that mean? Did he touch you?”
Finally, I understood what else was going on. I might be slow, but given time, I put the pieces together. “You have no reason to be jealous, I promise. We talked … and trained. You’re the only boy who gets close like this.”
“Oh.” A long, slow breath escaped him. “I feel so stupid.”
I put my lips to his cheek and whispered, “Don’t. I love you, Fade.”
My time in Salvation had taught me the meaning of the word and not to be stingy with its use. I should tell Edmund and Momma Oaks, in fact, before I returned to the outpost. It was a different sort, of course, but each permutation made my heart better and stronger, so I could fight harder.
He took a quick, unsteady breath. “That’s what I said to you in the wagon.”
And then his lips found mine, hot as sunshine, sweet as clean water. He wrapped me up in his arms, so I was above him, perched on his thighs, and I kissed him like he’d shown me earlier with peekaboo teases of tongue. I was too shy to do much of that at first, but my hesitance seemed to make him hungrier. His arms tightened, and suddenly I understood how the puzzle pieces fit together. Shocked excitement washed my whole body, but I didn’t scramble away. I trusted him, even when he fell back so I sprawled on top of him. His hands roamed, and mine did too, clumsy, strange, and irresistible. Then his palm closed on the curve of my breast, barely touched, pressed, through the silky fabric of my dress, and I felt like a sunrise.