Sometimes.
It was chilly tonight, but I wasn’t ready to sleep yet, so I just wrapped up in my blanket, keeping my pack close. The canopy overhead prevented more than a hint of starlight from trickling down, and it gave things a murky, indistinct shape in the dark. I could hear the other two whispering again, though, and my skin crawled.
“Think we can trust them?” I pitched my voice so only Stalker could hear.
“Not even a little. They’ve got plans for you, dove.” It was the first time he’d used the endearment since he came to warn me that I’d only wind up hurting Fade, because he wasn’t my kind. Now I wondered if those words weren’t prophetic. If Fade hadn’t joined the summer patrol because of me, he wouldn’t be missing. He’d done it to please me … and watch over me.
Oh, Fade, I’m sorry. I battled with the impulse to blame myself. Best to focus on immediate problems, like the men sitting across from us. I knew the fate they intended for me.
“Forced breeding?” My voice came out thin.
I’d never heard of such a thing until I came Topside. In the enclave, it wasn’t an issue since brats came up knowing their roles. In Salvation, I didn’t understand how Miles and Ellis expected to get away with it. Though I had an imperfect understanding of the society, the rules were clearly different than they had been in the gangs. Females were respected here, if not treated as equals.
“To start.”
“What do you mean? Is there something worse?”
“Some people,” Stalker said softly. “They’re born broken. I knew some.”
“But not you?” It wasn’t until after I blurted the question that I realized it would hurt him.
His shoulders hunched, and his answer came on a sigh. “I fought a lot in the gang. I clawed my way to the top of the heap, but not because I enjoyed it. I did it because I could only make a difference if I held the power. I did what I had to and I don’t apologize for it.”
I’d never asked this before. “What was it like?”
“The gang?” He paused, considering. “Brutal. None of us lived long, and we took what we were strong enough to hold. I learned early on that I didn’t want to be low in the pecking order. We focused on finding food and making more Wolves to fight the other gangs, hold our territory.”
“Did you take hostages a lot?”
“You mean Tegan,” he said.
I nodded. “Did you?”
“Three or four times, usually from other gangs, so they didn’t fight. I didn’t know what to make of Tegan. So defiant when she had no strength to back it up.” He sighed. “It’s strange … I did what I had to at the time, but now, when I look back at that, it’s like I was someone else.”
“You wouldn’t do the same things now?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Does it matter?”
“It does to me.”
“For what it’s worth, no. I’ve learned so much. I realize now that one girl didn’t matter. At the time, I thought I had to prove my power to keep the cubs in line. But I should’ve let her go. Not that it would’ve done her any good … another gang would’ve snatched her up and treated her worse.”
Killed her, I thought. Like the enclave would have.
“That would’ve been the right thing to do,” I agreed. “Just the same, maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m glad you kept her. If you hadn’t, she might not have survived, and I wouldn’t have her as my friend now.”
Maybe it wouldn’t matter to her, but he should apologize to Tegan. I didn’t tell him so; that was between the two of them. I brought the conversation back to something else he’d said. “What do you know about the broken ones?”
“They live to hurt others.” By his tone, he had some experience with that. It might even be what had driven him to fight his way to the top of the pack.
“You think Ellis and Miles are like that?”
I glimpsed the movement of his head enough to know he was nodding. “Miles more than Ellis, who follows out of weakness.”
“So whatever they have in mind, I won’t survive it.” Somehow, it felt like a comfort to see my future mapped out. If I wasn’t fast enough.
“It won’t come to that.” That struck me as a promise. “Get some sleep, Deuce. I’ll stand first watch.”
Damage
It wasn’t quite dawn, faint light filtered by the leaves above. I lay in my blanket listening to the quiet wood. The silence had a waiting quality. No birds. No rustling of small animals. And from beyond our tiny camp, I heard movement.
Crunch. Crackle.
Something sniffed and gave a low growl. I’d never heard that from a Freak, but then, I had never encountered one hunting alone in a forest before. The ones down below fed in frenzied, starving packs. These creatures had very little in common with their weaker brethren.
An animal cried out—a hopeless wail in dying—and then it made no more noise at all. Wet sounds followed. I recognized the unmistakable sign of a Freak feeding on a fresh kill: the moist smacking and the groans of throaty pleasure. I squeezed my eyes shut. It didn’t sound like many; they would surely be fighting over the meat if there were. How close was it?
I rolled over and found Stalker awake. The idiot Ellis had fallen asleep on his watch; he was probably the one who let the Freaks slip past and take Fade from his tent. I fought the urge to slit his throat. You’re not a monster. You’re not. You have no proof. Through sheer will I fought down the angry impulses. Miles hadn’t roused either, but Stalker and I, by virtue of our upbringings, slept lightly and with one hand on our knives.
He made a few concise gestures, telling me he intended to circle and I should go the other way, so we could spring an ambush. Taking a deep breath, I nodded, drew my daggers, and silently slid out of my bedroll. The soft ground made it easier than it would have been down below with gravel and broken glass. Without a glance back, I crept through the lacy green brush.
As I’d guessed, it was a lone Freak, and my heart nearly leapt from my chest before I ascertained its prey wasn’t human. Not Frank. Not Fade. It had been a deer, I thought, but it was hard to be sure, considering how much of it the Freak had already devoured. Glimmers of white bone showed through the chewed and ragged flesh. The blood welled up from the carcass, and the Freak lowered its head, lapping with its whole face. Red ran down its chin and neck, spattering its chest.