“I’d never.” I was genuinely insulted and tired of being babied.
Things hadn’t improved with Fade. He spent his days with Edmund, learning to work with leather. I didn’t see him as a shoemaker, but he could tool armor if he kept up the craft, which meant we’d have Tegan for healing, Stalker for weapons, and Fade for gear. That left me feeling like I needed to do something other than fight.
I spent my time mending with Momma Oaks and mulling dark thoughts. I couldn’t believe Stalker hadn’t come to see me even once. Not that I wanted him to. I was glad he’d finally decided to leave me alone. I was. But it stung a little that both boys had abandoned me.
When I had healed enough, Elder Bigwater sent for me. My foster mother did her utmost to keep the grim news from reaching me, but it came in trickles, and on this particular day, a messenger arrived with word. It was the same boy who had come to advise us that the wagons were safe. I recognized him, then, as I’d met Zachariah Bigwater the night of the dance.
Justine’s older brother was a town hero—with people clamoring for his time and attention—but he stayed to escort me to see his father. Zach resembled Justine a little but his hair was darker, more like the grain I’d cut in those bloody fields. His eyes shone the same remarkable blue, though. His features were stronger as well, but he didn’t look much like his dad.
“You fought with my friend, Frank Wilson,” he said as we walked.
“He was a good man.”
Zach must be hurting.
The boy nodded. “We went to school together.”
“Did you want to know something particular?” I asked gently.
Clearly he did or he wouldn’t have broached the subject. If it were me, I’d want to know exactly what happened. The endless uncertainty would haunt me otherwise, my mind conjuring worse fates. Only it was impossible to imagine a man leaving this world in a more awful manner; Zach just didn’t know that. His fears were probably comforting in comparison.
His steps slowed. “Did he die well?”
No, I thought. Nobody did. They just died.
Dishonesty was foreign to me, but the truth would only haunt Zach’s dreams if I repeated Fade’s tale of how Frank had been murdered and deboned. So I lied, though the heartening words stuck in my throat. “He fought until the very end. Fade said he never gave up.”
Not even when they butchered him.
Zach hunched his shoulders as we approached the house. As I recalled, it was nice, large as one might expect, and freshly whitewashed. Mrs. Bigwater had an herb garden to the side and flowers out front that rioted in pink and orange. Out back, she probably had a vegetable patch. I knew there was a green yard on the other side, where Justine had held her party.
“I wanted to volunteer,” he said then. “My mother wouldn’t let me.”
If he had, he probably wouldn’t be standing here. So few of us made it back. The last stand lingered in my memory, burned into sharp relief, all ashes and salt. I couldn’t smile at him, wishing for glory or to feel worthy of his friend’s valiant death. I just couldn’t. The truth was too sharp and stark.
“It’s better you didn’t,” I rasped, surprised at the thickness in my throat.
Longshot.
“Did you kill a lot of Muties?”
So many. Too many. It no longer felt brave to me, only inevitable. “As many as I had to,” I answered. “And your message came just in time … without it, none of us would have made it back.” In my mind’s eye, I saw again that wave, coming after the first. Another minute and we wouldn’t have been able to outrun them. Strange to think I owed my life to Zach Bigwater. “So thank you.”
“Well.” He seemed uncomfortable, whether from his own emotions or my gratitude, I didn’t know. “Let’s not keep my father waiting.”
I hadn’t gone into the house last time, so I felt odd following him up the stairs. Within, it was finer than my home, more fancy things that had only a decorative purpose. There was a lot of glass, more than I’d ever seen in one place before. I didn’t feel comfortable here, too easy to break something. Zach led me through the sitting room, and then we went farther, down a hall, and into a room on the left. It was nice enough, I supposed, with a desk, two chairs, and endless rows of bookshelves. Fade would want to read all the titles. His name knifed me with the echo of his distance, so I fled from the thought and focused on Elder Bigwater, who stood to greet me.
It was polite to offer one’s hand, so I crossed the room and did so. He seemed surprised when I shook his.
“You’re an unusual young woman,” he said.
I glanced between him and Zach, wondering what I’d done wrong.
“Men shake,” his son explained. “Girls usually curtsy.”
Hm. Since I had no idea what that was, they wouldn’t get one. People sometimes looked at me like I was defective for not knowing rules they took for granted. Fade probably felt this way when he arrived in our enclave and got chided for unfamiliarity with customs foreign to him.
I figured it was time we got down to business. “Maybe we could talk about why you wanted to see me?”
The elder tilted his head. “Of course. Zach?”
The young man lifted a hand to me in farewell and strode out, shutting the door behind him. With a quiet gesture, Elder Bigwater invited me to take a seat in the chair opposite his desk. I did so, wondering why I felt such trepidation. Was I in trouble? I hadn’t been the most obedient Huntress this summer. Maybe Longshot included something about my conduct in the message he’d sent to town. But I didn’t imagine so; if he had found it necessary to discipline me, he’d have done so himself, not fobbed the task off on Bigwater by courier. He had been that kind of man.
“Sir?” I prompted.
“First, I must tell you that Karl thought highly of you.”
That was Longshot’s given name, as I recalled.
“He did?” Such news was a balm to my sore spirit. Longshot had made it clear before he died, but it felt even better, hearing it. That meant Longshot had spoken well of me to someone else.
Bigwater nodded. “He wrote to me before the battle, apprising me of our circumstances. He said you had proven invaluable in the field, primarily as a scout. That you could move in and out of the enemy lines like nobody he’d ever seen.”
“Stalker and Fade can too.”