Bonnie paused again, and glanced at Elena, her eyes wide and shining. "But I love Elena and Meredith. I know I need to stop comparing myself to them. I'm not just a sidekick; I'm useful and talented, too. And" - she spoke the words Alaric had given them al - "I have fed the phantom of jealousy. But now I cast my jealousy away."
In the semicircle of candles, the flame of Bonnie's pink one flickered and went out. Bonnie gave a little gasp and smiled, half-shamefaced, half-proud, at Meredith and Elena. From inside the diagram, the phantom of jealousy snapped its head around and glared at Bonnie. "Bonnie - "
Meredith started to say, wanting to tel her friend that of course she wasn't a sidekick. Didn't Bonnie know how amazing she was?
But then Elena stepped toward the candles and shook back her hair, head high. "I've been jealous of other people in Fel 's Church," she declared. "I saw how easy it was for other couples to be together, and after al Stefan and I -
and Damon, and the rest of my friends - have been through, and even after we saved Fel 's Church and made it normal again, everything just kept on being so hard and so weird and supernatural. I guess I've been realizing that things aren't ever going to be just easy and normal for me, and that's been tough to accept. When I watched other people and was jealous of them, I fed the phantom of jealousy. I cast that jealousy away."
Elena smiled a little. It was a strange, rueful sort of smile, and Meredith, watching her, thought that, while Elena had cast out her jealousy, she was stil haunted by regret for the easy, golden life she'd once had ahead of her and that had probably been taken away forever now.
The candle was stil burning. Elena hesitated. Meredith fol owed her gaze past the line of candles to where Stefan and Damon struggled. As they watched, Damon heaved and rol ed Stefan under him, leaving a long streak of blood across the floor of the garage. Stefan's foot brushed the red candle at the end of the line, and Alaric leaped to steady it.
"And I've been jealous of Katherine," Elena said. "Damon and Stefan loved her first, and she knew them before so much happened to change them, to... warp them out of who they ought to be. And even though I realize that they both know I'm not Katherine and that they love me for who I am, I haven't been able to forget that they noticed me at first because I look like her. I have fed the phantom of jealousy because of Katherine, and I cast that jealousy away."
The candle flame flickered, but did not go out. Jealousy smirked triumphantly, but then Elena went on. "I've also been jealous of Bonnie." Bonnie's head shot up, and she stared at Elena with an expression of disbelief. "I was used to being the only human Damon cared about, the only one who he would want to save." She looked at Bonnie with tear-fil ed eyes. "I am so, so glad that Bonnie is alive. But I was jealous that Damon cared enough to die for her. When I was jealous of Bonnie, I fed the phantom of jealousy. But now I cast my jealousy away."
The golden candle went out. Elena looked almost timidly at Bonnie, and Bonnie smiled at her, an open, loving smile, and held out her arms. Elena hugged her tightly. Other than the grief she felt over Elena's parents' deaths, Meredith had never felt sorry for Elena. Why would she?
Elena was beautiful, smart, a leader, passionately loved... but now Meredith couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for her. Sometimes it must be easier to live an everyday life than to be a heroine.
Meredith glanced at the phantom. It seemed to be simmering and was now whol y focused on the humans. Alaric stepped around the candles toward the others, glancing back toward Damon and Stefan. Damon had pinned Stefan painful y against the wal behind Alaric. Stefan's face was twisted in a grimace, and they could hear the scrape of his body against the hard surface. But at least Stefan and Damon weren't endangering the candles for now.
Meredith turned her attention to her boyfriend. What could Alaric be jealous of? If anything, he'd been the focus of jealousy the last week or so.
He reached for Meredith and took one of her hands. "I've been jealous," Alaric said, looking into her eyes. "Of you, Meredith. And of your friends."
Meredith reflexively arched a brow at him. What did he mean?
"God." He half laughed. "Here I am, a graduate student in parapsychology. I've been dying my whole life to prove to myself that there's something more going on in the world than what everybody knows, that some of the things we think of as supernatural are real. And then I come to this smal town in Virginia because there are rumors, rumors I don't real y believe, that there might be vampires here, and when I get here I find this amazing, beautiful, confident girl, and it turns out she comes from a family that hunts vampires. And her friends are vampires and witches and psychics and girls who come back from the dead to fight evil. They only just finished high school, but they've seen things I've never imagined. They've defeated monsters, and saved towns, and traveled to other dimensions. And, you know, I'm just this ordinary guy, and suddenly half the people I know - and the girl I love - are practical y superheroes." He shook his head, looking at Meredith admiringly. "I've fed the phantom of jealousy. But now I cast my jealousy away. I'l just have to deal with being the boyfriend of a superhero." Instantly, the dark green candle went out.
Sealed in the inner circle, the phantom hissed and paced back and forth in the smal space like a trapped tigress. It looked angry, but not noticeably weaker.
Celia spoke next. Her face was tired but calm. "I've fed the phantom of jealousy," she proclaimed. "I've been jealous of Meredith Suarez." She didn't say why. "But now I see that it's pointless. I've fed the phantom of jealousy, but now I cast my jealousy away."
She spoke as if she were dropping something into the trash. But stil the pale purple candle went out. Meredith opened her mouth to speak - she was clear on what she needed to say, and it wouldn't be too hard, because she'd won, hadn't she? If it had ever been a battle anywhere besides her own mind - but Matt cleared his throat and spoke first.
"I have..." He stumbled over his words. "I guess... no, I know I've fed the phantom of jealousy. I have always been crazy about Elena Gilbert, as long as I've known her. And I've been jealous of Stefan. Al along. Even now, when Jealousy's got him trapped in this bloody battle, because he has Elena. She loves him, not me. But, wel , it doesn't matter... I've also known for a long time that Elena and I together don't work, not for her, and that's not Stefan's fault. I've fed the phantom of jealousy, but now I cast my jealousy away." He blushed and careful y did not look at Elena. The white candle went out, sending a long trail of smoke toward the ceiling.