"Are you saying I'm wrong? You don't think I'm a spoiled and pampered prince who doesn't know anything about real life and has to be baby-sat?"
Keller was disconcerted. That was exactly what she thought-but if it were true, then why did she have this strange feeling of falling?
"I think you're like her," she said, keeping her words short and brutal to keep them under control. She didn't need to specify the her. "You're like this whole ridiculous family. Happy mommy, happy baby, happy Christmas. They're ready to love everybody who comes along. And they're living in a happy happy idealistic world that has nothing to do with reality."
The corner of his mouth turned up wryly, although his eyes were still serious. "I think that's what I said."
"And it sounds harmless, doesn't it? But it isn't. It's blind and destructive. What do you want to bet that Hiana's mother really thinks my name is Kelly now? She can't deal with it being 'demon,' so she just happily changes the world to fit."
"You could be right." He wasn't smiling at all now, and there was something in his eyes, something lost and hopeless that made Keller feel more panicked than ever.
She spoke savagely to hold off the fear. "You want to know what real life is like? My mother left me in a cardboard box in a parking lot. It was fixed up with newspapers inside, like something you'd use for a puppy. That was because I couldn't wear diapers, I was stuck in my halfway form-a baby with a tail and ears like a cat. Maybe that was why she couldn't deal with me, but I'll never know. The only thing I have of hers is a note that was in the box. I kept it"
Keller fumbled in the jumpsuit's pocket. She had never meant to show this to anyone, certainly not somebody she'd known for less than twenty-four hours. But she had to convince Galen; she had to make him go away for good.
Her wallet was slim-no photos, just money and ID. She pulled out a folded slip of paper, with creases worn smooth by time and writing that had faded from blue ink to pale purple. Its right edge was a ragged tear, but the words were on the left and clear enough.
"It was her legacy to me," Keller said. "She was trying to pass on the truth, what she'd learned about life."
Galen took the paper as if it were a hurt bird.
Keller watched his eyes move over it. She knew the words by heart, of course, and right now she heard them ringing in her mind. There were only twelve of them-her mother had been a master of succinctness. People die...
Beauty fades...
Love changes...
And you will always be alone.
Keller could tell where Galen was by the way his eyes widened in horror.
She smiled at him, not nicely, and took the paper back.
He looked at her. And despite everything she knew about him, she was surprised at the sheer depth of his shock. He stared at her with those
gold-green eyes that went on for miles-and then he stepped forward.
'You don't believe that," he said fiercely, and grabbed her by the shoulders.
Keller was startled. He'd seen her in action. How could he be so stupid as to grab her?
He seemed to be completely unaware of his danger. There was nothing calm or hesitant about him now. He was staring at her with a kind of stricken tenderness, as if she'd just told him she had a terminal disease. It was as if he were trying to pour love and warmth and light into her by a direct connection.
"I won't let you think that," he said. "I won't let you."
'It's just the truth. If you can accept that, you won't drown in life. Whatever happens, you'll be able to cope."
"It's not all the truth. If you believe it is, why do you work for Circle Daybreak?"
"They raised me," Keller said shortly. "They snatched me out of the hospital nursery when they read the reports about me in the paper. They realized what I was and that humans couldn't take care of me. That's why I work for them-to pay them back. It's my job."
"That's not the only reason. I've seen you work, Keller."
She could feel warmth spreading from his hands on her shoulders. She knocked them aside and stood tall. There was a core of iciness inside her, and she hung on to that.
"Don't get me wrong," she said. "I don't save people out of idealism. I don't risk my neck for just anybody-only the ones I get paid for."
"You mean if Diana's little brother was in danger, you wouldn't save him. You'd stand there and watch him burn to death in a fire or drown in a riptide."
Keller had a sinking feeling. She held her chin up and said, "Exactly. If it meant putting myself in danger to save him, I wouldn't do it." He shook his head, flatly positive. "No." The sinking feeling got worse. "That's a lie," he said, holding her eyes. "I've seen you in action. I talked to Nissa and Winnie last night. And I've seen your mind. You're not just doing a job. You're doing what you do because you think it's right. And you are..." He paused as if to find the words, then spoke deliberately. "You are the soul of honor."
And you're insane, Keller thought. She realty needed to get away now. The sinking was becoming a terrible weakness spreading through her. And although she knew that what he was saying was complete garbage, she couldn't seem to stop listening. "You put on a good show," Galen said, "but the truth is that you're brave and gallant and decent. You have your own code, and you would never break it. And anybody who knows you sees that Don't you know what your team thinks of you? You should have seen their faces-and Diana's-when they thought you were dead in that rubble. Your soul is straight as a sword, and you have more honor than anyone I've ever known." His eyes were the color of the first new leaves in spring, the kind you look up to see sunlight pouring through. Keller was a meat-eater and had never cared much about flowers or other vegetation, but now she remembered a line from a poem, and it froze in her mind like lightning: Nature's first green is gold. This was the color the poet meant.
You could drown in eyes like that.
He was holding her arms again. He couldn't seem to stop reaching for her, as if she were some soul in danger of being lost forever.
"Your life's been so hard. You deserve to have good things happen to you now-only good things. I wish..." He broke off, and a sort of tremor went through his face.