Jez lost her breath. She stared at him. His face was shadowed, but she could see its clean tines, the strong but delicate features, the darkness of his eyebrows and the tension in his jaw. And she knew, as he narrowed his eyes, that they were the color of glacier ice.
"You know," he said, "there's still a connection between us. I can feel it, sort of like a cord between our minds. It pulls. You can't deny it, Jez. It's there whether you like it or not. And-" He considered, as if thinking of the best way to put this. "It tells me things. Things about you."
Oh, hell, Jez thought. It's over. I'm just going to have to protect Hugh and Claire myself. From him and whoever's got us.
Part of her was scared, but part was just furious, the familiar fury of needing to bash Morgead over the head. He was so certain of himself, so ... smug.
"So what's it telling you now?" she said sarcastically before she could stop herself.
"That you're not telling the truth. That there's something you're keeping from me, something you've been keeping from me. And that it has to do with him." He nodded toward Hugh.
He knew. The jerk knew and he was just playing with her. Jez could feel self-control slipping away.
"Something to do with why you want the Wild Power," Morgead went on, a strange smile playing on his lips. "And with where you've been for the past year, and with why you suddenly want to protect humans.
And why you say 'Goddess' when you're surprised. No vampire says that. It's a witch thing."
Goddess, I'm going to kill him, Jez thought, clenching her teeth. "Anything else?" she said evenly.
"And with why you're scared of me reading your thoughts." He smirked. "Told you I was observant."
Jez lost it. "Yeah, Morgead, you're brilliant. So are you smart enough to figure out what it all means? Or just to get suspicious?"
"It means-" He looked uncertain suddenly, as if he hadn't exactly figured out where all this was leading.
He frowned. "It means... that you're ..." He looked at her. "With Circle Daybreak."
It came out as a statement, but a weak one. Almost a question. And he was staring at her with an I-don't-believe-it look.
"Very good," Jez said nastily. "Two points. No, one; it took you long enough."
Morgead stared at her. Then he suddenly erupted out of his side of the van. Jez jumped forward, too, in a crouch that would let her move fluidly and protect Hugh and Claire.
But Morgead didn't attack. He just tried to grab her shoulders and shake her.
"You little idiot!" he yelled.
Jez was startled. "What?"
"You're a Daybreaker?"
"I thought you had it all figured out." What was wrong with him? Instead of looking betrayed and bloodthirsty he looked scared and angry. Like a mother whose kid has just run in front of a bus.
"I did-I guess-but I still can't believe it. Jez, why? Don't you know how stupid that is? Don't you realize what's going to happen to them?"
"Look, Morgead-"
"They're going to lose, Jez. It's not just going to be the Council against them now. Everybody in the Night World is going to be gunning for them.
They're going to get wiped out, and anybody who sides with them will be wiped out, too."
His face was two inches from hers. Jez glared at him, refusing to give ground. "I'm not just siding with them," she hissed. "I am one of them. I'm a damned Daybreaker."
"You're a dead Daybreaker. I can't believe this. How am I supposed to protect you from the whole Night World?"
She stared at him. "What?"
He settled back, glaring, but not at her. He was looking around the van, avoiding her eyes. "You heard me. I don't care who your friends are, Jez. I don't even care that you came back to use me. I'm just glad you came back. We're soulmates, and nothing can change that." Then he shook his head furiously. "Even if you won't admit it."
"Morgead..." Suddenly the ache in Jez's chest was too much to stay inside. It was closing off her throat, making her eyes sting, trying to make her cry.
She had misjudged Morgead, too. She'd been so sure that he would hate her, that he could never forgive.
But of course, he didn't know the whole truth yet.
He probably thought that her being a Daybreaker was something she would grow out of. That it was just a matter of getting her to see the light and change sides again, and she would become the old Jez Redfern. He didn't realize that the old Jez Red-fern had been an illusion.
Tm sorry," she said abruptly, helplessly. "For all of this, Morgead-I'm sorry. It really wasn't fair to you for me to come back."
He looked irritated. "I told you; I'm glad you did. We can work things out-if you'll just stop being so stubborn. We'll get out of this-"
"Even if we do get out of it, nothing's going to change." She looked up at him. She wasn't frightened of what he might do anymore. The only thing she was frightened of was seeing disgust in his eyes-but she still had to tell him. "I can't be your soulmate, Morgead."
He hardly seemed to be listening to her. "Yes, you can. I told you, I don't care who your friends are.
Well keep you alive somehow. The only thing I don't understand is why you'd want to ally yourself with stupid humans, when you know they're going to lose."
Jez looked at him. Morgead, the vampire's vampire, whose only interest was in seeing the Night World conquer humanity completely. Who was what she had been a year ago, and what she could never be again. Who thought of her as an ally, a descendent of one of the first families of the lamia.
Who thought he loved who he thought she was.
Jez kept looking at him steadily, and when she spoke, it was very quietly. And it was the truth.
"Because I'm a human," she said.
Chapter 17
Morgead's entire body jerked once and then went absolutely still. As if he'd been turned to stone. The only thing alive about him was his eyes, which were staring at Jez with shock and burning disbelief.
Well, Jez told herself, with a grim humor that was almost like sobbing grief, I startled him, that's for sure.
I finally managed to stun Morgead speechless.
It was only then that she realized some part of her had hoped that he already knew this, too. That he would be able to brush it off with exasperation, the way he had the fact that she was a Daybreaker.