‘Well . . .’ Tapping her chip on her plate, Lillian looked pensive. ‘There are always obstacles in every rom-com, you know. If the “meet-cute” didn’t work, maybe what they need now is to be shown the “awful alternatives”. You know, that moment in movies and TV when the hero and heroine go on dates with really horrible people. It helps them realise who they really love.’
‘Hmm.’ Olivia crunched her chip thoughtfully. ‘I think that actually might work . . . and that way, no one needs to get a lecture from the principal! Thank you!’
I have such a cool stepmom, she realised.
Chapter Eight
Ivy grimaced as she stepped back into the Slice of Life pizza parlour and saw a life-size plastic cockroach in the corner, near a mouldy-looking smear of old tomato sauce.
I know they have to make this place look gross, she thought. But did they have to do such a good job of it? Her mouth tasted funny enough from the procedure she’d just undergone downstairs, without adding so many other horrible flavours to the air!
To all the bunnies of Franklin Grove, the Slice of Life was known as the nastiest pizza parlour in the universe. None of them could understand how it had stayed in business for so long
Only the vampires knew the truth: that the Slice of Life’s disgusting appearance was exactly what made it the perfect base for Dr Pane Lee, the town’s resident vampire dentist. Dr Lee kept his practice in the basement, and the vampires of Franklin Grove went in and out freely throughout the night, pretending to be visiting the twenty-four-hour pizza parlour.
I almost wish I had been, Ivy thought glumly. Sure, the Slice of Life looked awful. But could eating mouldy pizza really be that much worse than having her super-long fangs filed with Dr Lee’s ‘special machine’, the one he only reserved for really drastic cases? She shuddered at the memory of the grinding noise it had made, rattling through her bones.
Worse yet, the polish he’d added at the end tasted of pink bubblegum . Talk about a bunny flavour!
Hunching her shoulders, Ivy ran her tongue over her newly-short fangs and fought the urge to gag at the taste as it mingled with the disgusting smells of the pizza parlour. It’s definitely time to get back outside!
Ignoring the cobwebs and fake roaches that cluttered the corners, Ivy walked past the dustcovered service counter where Rachel, the ‘manageress’ of the Slice of Life – who was actually Dr Lee’s receptionist – was pretending to read a sauce-spattered magazine.
Cobwebs trailed off Rachel’s dirty cap, which was topped by a plastic spider, and a smear of red – which Ivy’s sensitive nose identified as paint rather than real pizza sauce – spread all the way across her cheek. As Ivy passed, Rachel looked up just long enough to give a secret nod . . . before ticking off a note in the patient book that was hidden inside the magazine.
Nodding back, Ivy held her breath and picked her way across the spills of dried cheese that covered the floor. It was a huge relief to reach the doorway. On the threshold, she started to turn back to wave goodbye to Rachel . . .
And then the unthinkable happened. From the corner of her eye she saw a hand . . . a hand reaching for the door.
Reaching for the door to the Slice of Life? I must be seeing things!
Ivy squeezed her eyes shut. Then she opened them, blinking hard . . . and saw the door being pulled all the way open.
She spun around. Oh, no!
It was an older boy – a high school senior, judging by his appearance, but she’d never seen him before. He must go to Willowton, she realised. But what is he thinking, for darkness’ sake? Are they even crazier at Willowton than at Franklin Grove? No one in their right mind would ever try to eat here! It has been designed specially, to repel all non-vamps!
But the boy wasn’t alone. He had run ahead to hold the door open for a whole group of his friends, who were all talking and laughing as they hurried down the street towards him . . . and even though he raised his eyebrows as he peered inside, he didn’t turn away. Instead, he called to his friends.
‘Come on. It doesn’t look all that bad. We might as well give it a try.’
Ivy squared her shoulders. I can’t let this happen!
Every vampire in Franklin Grove knew that they had a duty to keep bunnies out of the Slice of Life, to keep them from seeing or hearing something they shouldn’t . . . Last summer, Ivy and Brendan had started an impromptu ‘Ketchup War’ in the street to scare off a bunny couple who looked like they might give it a try. It had actually been fun – until Rachel asked them to help clean up!
Ivy spun around and yelled at Rachel: ‘That food was disgusting ! How dare you try to charge me for something that had bugs in it?’
The boy holding the door stepped back. Ivy heard his friends’ footsteps slowing. Someone halfway down the street whispered, ‘Did she just say bugs ?’
Rachel yelled back, ‘Oh, come on, at least most of the bugs on your pizza were dead.’
‘Some of them were still moving!’ Ivy declared. ‘In my mouth!’
The boy let go of the door, swallowing visibly. Ivy lifted her chin. ‘This is a scandal. I’m not paying you. I’m reporting you to the health board! Just as soon as I . . . as I . . .’
She clapped her hand to her mouth. Bending over, she forced her shoulders to heave.
Running footsteps sounded down the street outside as the boy and his friends fled at top speed.
Behind the counter, Rachel chuckled. ‘Well done,’ she said. ‘Are you sure it’s your sister who’s the actress in the family?’
Ivy snorted as she straightened up. ‘Positive.’
Shaking her head, she walked outside and took a deep breath of the clean air. Her mouth was still tingling, but at least she could breathe now. She just wished she could erase her memories of the last half hour as easily as she’d gotten rid of those would-be pizza customers.
Sure, she’d had some bad dental procedures in the past . . . but Dr Lee had never before had to kneel on the armrest just to file down her fangs, much less take out his ‘special machine’! And the lecture he’d given her afterwards had made her feel even worse. She frowned, kicking at the pavement as she remembered how angry he’d been at her for waiting too long between filings.
‘This isn’t just a matter of personal comfort, young lady. It’s about protecting the secrets of the whole vampire race!’