I step forward in a threatening manner, wondering if I can take him now or if his strength will match mine. I’m curious to find out. “So what you’re saying is that if I take this fading, then there’s a good chance I’ll be gone.”
He wavers then gets to his feet and walks over to me. “Gone, but for the greater good. I’m sorry I have to say this, but sometimes it takes a huge sacrifice to make things right again. Not everyone can survive.”
His words almost match Monarchs words; the ones I constantly hear in my head. Is that what he’s trying to tell me? That this is the sacrifice.”
“I have to think about it,” I say then turn for the door.
“Kayla, wait,” he calls out. “I need one more thing from you.”
Shaking my head, I turn around. “What?”
He looks taken aback by my anger, but shrugs it off. “I need to inject you with the original vampire virus.”
“Why?” I gape at him.
“Because I need to see if I can get your blood to replicate like the virus does. And I want to start by seeing what will happen if I add it to your blood.”
“But I’ve already been bit. Nothing happens.”
He shakes his head, his expression laced with stress. “The virus itself works a lot different… and it’s more potent when you shoot it straight into a vein.”
“So you’re saying I could turn?” God, what does this man want from me? First he’s asking me to risk my existence and give over my body for the hope of mankind and now he’s asking me to take a risk and turn into a vampire.
“I doubt it,” he says. “I just wanted to let you know that it’s a risk because I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Can’t lie to me,” I remind him, annoyed. I consider it for a moment, wondering what the right choice is. I could turn into one. Let my flesh rot. Do I want that for myself? Then I remember that there are risks that need to be taken in order for things to change and then decide to do it. “You have some of my blood, right?” I ask, sitting down on a chair. “As backup, so you can hopefully change me back with it?”
He nods, pointing at a row of vials in the cabinet. “I do and any signs that you’re changing, I’ll inject you.”
I shove my sleeve up. “Then do it. Go ahead and inject me.”
He seems remorseful, but still goes to retrieve the vial from his cabinet. He fills a syringe with it then flicks the needle with his fingertip as he makes his way back over to me. A slow breath eases from his lips as he aims it at my arm and I frown as he runs his finger along my vein, remembering, yet not remembering, all the times I was injected. Then, with a deep breath, he injects the virus straight into me and all we can do is wait.
***
“I feel funny,” I say, feeling a little woozy as he throws away the syringe and returns the virus to its rightful place in the cabinet.
“That’s understandable.” He turns around, watching me, waiting to see if I’ll change.
I brace myself against the wall as the room starts to spin; my veins feel like they’re on fire. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
Nodding and keeping his eyes fastened on me, he backs away to a metallic cooler in the corner of the room. He opens it up and takes out a small vial of my blood along with another vial that looks like it’s filled with a black liquid that bubbles red. He tucks that one into his pocket and then hurries forward, preparing to inject me with my blood.
I hold up my finger, struggling to breathe, not ready to give up. I force my body to fight against the potency and desire to let the virus take control. After a few inhales and exhales, my strength returns to me and I manage to stand up straight, releasing a breath.
“I think I’m going to be okay,” I tell him, squaring my shoulders.
“You don’t feel like your skin is peeling off or anything?” he asks cautiously. “Or are you filled with a hunger for blood?”
I shake my head, breathing freer and freer by the second. “I feel perfectly fine.”
His whole body sinks as he sighs with relief. “Thank God.” He moves over to a drawer and gets an empty vial and syringe. “I’m going to take some of your blood now and see what it’s doing. Have a seat.”
I do what he says as he prepares to draw my blood. I eye his pocket, wondering what the other vial is. “What was that other thing you grabbed?” I ask.
He touches his finger to my forearm, finding a vein. “What do you mean?”
“That vial that’s in your pocket. What is it?”
He puts the needle into my arm and begins to fill the syringe up with blood. “That’s the fading.”
I don’t say anything as he finishes up and then I get up from my chair, heading to leave.
“Wait, where are you going?” he asks as I reach the doorway.
I pause. “To think.”
Now, he pauses. “Kayla, I know this is a hard decision but—but we’re running out of time.”
“I know that,” I say through gritted teeth. “But I need just a few minutes.” To think. To process. To find out what Sylas thinks.”
I walk out the door, knowing if Mathew wanted to, he could probably chase me down and try to put the fading in me, but he doesn’t. He’s giving me a choice. When I think about it, though, I know it’s really not a choice. Deep down, I know what I’m going to do because it’s why I was created. To think without emotion, to think about what’s important, to not base my decisions on greed.
In the end, I’ll go through with it. I just need to say good-bye.
Chapter 23
The first thing I do is find Sylas. Then I tell him everything I found out, including that he might be a Day Walker now. We do a few tests and determine that he probably is, which seems to excite him. I just hope the power doesn’t go to his head, like it did with Aiden.
Then we move onto the bigger problem. The fading. I’m nervously pacing a section of the wall, telling myself it’s time to say good-bye, move forward and hope for the best, however it’s hard. I’m conflicted and I don’t like it because it’s for selfish reasons and I don’t want to be selfish like the Highers.
“How can we be sure we can trust him?” Sylas asks. He’s leaning against the wall with one of his knees pulled up and his arm resting on it.