"There will still always be the risk that she could end your life. Your parents will not care whether you are a member of the Clann. You will always be their child, and they will do whatever is necessary to protect you." He turned to me now, placing a hand on my shoulder. "If there was a way for you and my daughter to be happy together, I would do everything in my power to assist you. But there is no way the rules will be changed for you. And I can promise you from experience that even the strongest of love cannot long survive being on the run, or some of the tactics either side might employ in an attempt to draw you out of hiding." His hand fell away. "The constant hiding alone drove Savannah's mother away from me."
I wanted to believe he was wrong, that things would be different for Savannah and me. That what we had together could survive anything, including being on the run from the council and the Clann.
But what if he was right? The Clann had already taken Sav's grandmother from her. Would my parents be desperate enough to go after Sav's mother next? Or her father? Would the vamps go after Emily to get to me?
Savannah and I could never live with ourselves if any of that happened. Savannah was struggling to deal with her grandmother's death as it was.
And that's when it hit me. There was nothing left to try. The Clann and the council were going to get their way, no matter how much Savannah and I wished otherwise.
No amount of football game losses could have prepared me for the crushing defeat that slammed me now. I'd never been in this situation before. I'd always been able to find a way to get what I wanted in life. Not because I was spoiled, as Emily teased me, but because Dad had always said if you wanted something enough and kept working at it, you'd find a way.
He was wrong. The one thing I wanted more than anything else in life was to be with Savannah. But I couldn't. Not now, and if her father was to be believed, not ever. Not as long as the Clann and the council hated and feared each other.
I made my feet carry me down the porch steps to my truck, and then I headed for the prison that my home had become.
CHAPTER 6
SAVANNAH
Tristan had given up.
Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how much faith I secretly had in him. Tristan was a fighter at heart, and he almost always got what he wanted. He wanted us to be together again, so if there was a real solution, he would find it.
Except this time he obviously hadn't.
He didn't have to tell me it was truly over. I could feel the frustration and despair rolling off of him every time we passed each other in the main hall between classes. I could see it in the bleakness in his eyes, in the defeated slump of his shoulders. And most of all in how he couldn't seem to look me in the eye anymore.
It was over.
I tried to tell myself that it wasn't the end of the world, that maybe someday my heart would heal and I'd find someone new.
When the lies didn't work, I tried to throw myself into school and Charmers stuff with the hope that, if I could just stay busy enough, then eventually I would find a way to breathe deeply again without that aching need to cry.
There wasn't a real sense of time passing over the next few weeks while I waited for our sophomore year to end. At home, I filled every spare second by helping Dad remove old wallpaper and flooring in the house. Unfortunately, this still left me with far too much free time now that the Charmers Spring Show and team auditions had passed. Team auditions day had been the one day when I actually hadn't had a single free moment for four blessed hours, as I'd had to shoulder all the manager workload while both of my fellow sophomore managers successfully re-auditioned for the team. I tried to be happy for them, and happy that it left me as the only choice for head manager for next year. Most of all, I tried not to regret the fact that the vamp council had banned me from ever dancing in public again so I wouldn't accidentally reveal my vamp side to humans. I doubted I could even remember how to dance now anyways.
In March, the team also held officer auditions. Mrs. Daniels had me stay late after school that day to run the music while she and two judges scored the candidates on their officer solo and group routines. Bethany Brookes became one of the junior lieutenant officers, which didn't surprise anyone. She was a good leader for the team, always willing to help others, always so happy and sweet and outgoing. It was like she had this perpetual ray of light beaming on her everywhere she went. Probably why her nickname on the dance team was Lil Miss Sunshine.
I wished I could be like her. But everything about my life was the polar opposite of hers. While Bethany was spinning in the spotlight, I was huddled in the dark backstage, and I couldn't find a way out. I wanted to be the girl I was a year ago, before I got sick and learned all my family's secrets, before I took a chance and let myself fall for a boy I could never have. Before Nanna died, and Mom was gone all the time on the road.
But I couldn't go back, and I couldn't change what I'd done or stop what I was now becoming. All I could do was fake a smile for my friends at lunch every day and pretend everything was all right.
And make sure I never looked back over my shoulder at the Clann table or the boy I could never be with again.
"Savannah?" Anne asked, her voice louder than usual in the cafeteria.
I jumped, knocking over my drink in the process. We all dived for napkins to sop up the spill while I muttered apologies. Well, there went my liquid lunch. All other food smelled too gross to eat lately.
"Are you in?" Anne repeated once Lake Savannah was managed on the table.
"In?" I stared at her in confusion. I really needed to stop spacing out so much around others.
"To go shopping this weekend," Michelle answered, staring at me. When I didn't answer, she added, "For dresses for the semiformal spring dance? We're going to the mall in Tyler this Saturday." Her tiny frame practically bounced in her seat.
A semiformal dance? Why would I want to go to that?
Carrie stared at me as if I were a new species of germ under a microscope.
Anne just rolled her eyes. "Earth to Miss Space Cadet. The dance is in two weeks. We're all going. Including you."
Cringing, I opened my mouth to argue.
Anne shook her head, her chestnut-colored ponytail swinging wildly. "No way, don't even think about bailing on me. These two have dates. I don't. Therefore you will be coming with me. I am not standing on the sidelines alone the whole night."