"Oh, please. Like he'd really run away from home. He wouldn't last a day on the streets."
Dad chuckled, the sound muffled through the wood. "Oh, you'd be surprised. I made it for two years before I met you and you talked me into coming back home. Plus, I didn't have that big ole trust fund to rely on like Tristan will when he turns eighteen."
Mom sighed. "I'm just so sick of all this football nonsense. How are we ever going to convince the Clann to make him the next leader if he won't buckle down and focus on his training?"
"He'll come around. If you stop pushing him. Let him be on this whole helping-the-Charmers thing. It won't hurt anything, and besides, he probably just wants to be around all those dancers. If I was his age, I'd want to be a Charmers escort, too."
"Are you sure it's not the Colbert girl he wants to be around?"
"Nah. That was over years ago. If he wanted to rebel, he would've done it back when we first separated them."
"I don't know, Samuel. I still think it's a bad idea."
"You think too much. Come to bed."
Time to leave. I eased along the hall, paused at my doorway, then continued on down the stairs and outside, flopping onto the grass on my back so I could stare up at the stars.
So Dad hadn't wanted to be the Clann leader, either, at first. Huh.
I spread my hands palms down on the grass, not to ground, but just to connect. To sense once again where I fit in this world. If I cleared my mind, I could actually feel it, that subtle pulsing of nature's energy beneath me. I was lying on one big battery, every blade of grass an outlet I could plug in to and take from or give back to as I wished.
I didn't reach for that energy, though. It was enough tonight to simply feel it, to know that I could tap into that power if I needed to.
I wasn't powerless against my parents, after all.
Until tonight, all my life I'd been drifting, unsure of who I was or what I wanted other than to play for the NFL. I'd let my parents make every decision for me, and I'd never complained much.
Now I still didn't know who I was. But I knew with absolute certainty what I wanted. Who I wanted. What I would give and do for her.
I'd finally found something worth fighting for. And somehow, I'd found my own freedom while I was at it.
I had a new kind of dream that night.
In the dream, I seemed to be connected with Savannah. No barrier separated us. I was able to sit down right beside her in the moonlit grass.
But she wouldn't speak to me or even look at me. And for the first time in any dream I'd ever had of her, she wore what I thought of as her Ice Princess mask. She was right there, just a few inches away from me. I could reach out and touch her if I dared. But I didn't, because no matter how near our imaginary bodies were to each other, she was still every bit as untouchable as in history class.
I woke up the next morning on edge and spent the rest of the weekend worrying about Monday.
CHAPTER 12
Tristan
I knew things were off track as soon as I saw Savannah headed my way Monday morning. She wasn't carrying her thermos cup of tea. And she was wearing the Ice Princess mask, her face cold and remote.
I tried to reassure myself that she was just having a rough morning. "Good morning, Savannah."
"Good morning."
No tea today meant no chance to hold her mug for her and touch her fingers in the process.
She opened the doors and headed upstairs, her steps brisker than usual. She didn't glance back at me on the way up, didn't pause once she reached the hallway.
She was silent as always during her morning routine of unlocking doors and grabbing equipment. But her silence was somehow different today, cooler, as if she were all business and the real Savannah wasn't even here.
"Rough morning?" I asked as we exited the building and the silence became too heavy.
"No, not really." Her lips formed a smile that looked suspiciously like the same one she'd given Dylan in history after he'd knocked her books to the floor.
Okay, obviously I'd screwed up at the game Friday night.
We entered the practice field and drew closer to the gathering dancers. But I didn't care that we'd run out of time for private talk. If I didn't apologize now, she might not give me a chance to later.
"Listen, Sav, about what I said-"
"Mister Tristan, while we are on team time, I'll have to ask you to please call me Miss Savannah. As I clearly stated before, it's the team rules, and how we show respect for one another." She didn't look at me as she spoke, her brisk stride never hesitating until she reached the edge of the fifty yard line where we always set up the sound system. "Okay, Miss Savannah." The formal address felt all wrong coming out of my mouth now. Another barrier between us. "I'm-"
She held up a hand. "We need to get to work. Let's discuss this later please."
And then she walked away to do her early-morning meeting with the team director.
Oh, yeah. I'd screwed up big-time.
I thought I'd at least get to apologize at the end of practice. But she was sneakier than I'd expected. She had one of the freshmen managers walk with me to put up the trainer bag and sound system instead. The next morning, she got to the school before me and already had the sound system set up on the field by the time I arrived. Even that wouldn't have been an obstacle, except she had the sophomore managers there with her, too.
Tuesday through Thursday's practices were more of the same, with her constantly hiding behind her managers or sending me on office errands so she could avoid being alone with me. But then Keisha told me what time Savannah had been getting there at the school each morning.
So Friday morning, I made sure to get there even earlier.
Savannah
As soon as I saw him waiting outside the foyer doors, my shoulders stiffened. I pressed my lips together. If I opened my mouth right now, this could turn ugly. I might start talking and be unable to stop. There were too many things I wanted to say to him, questions I yearned to ask. Like why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why did he have to keep on breaking my heart?
Did he feel even the slightest bit sorry for all the years he'd refused to speak to me and pretended I didn't exist?
I unlocked the doors in silence, the clicking of the lock's release echoing in the foyer. He held the door open for me, and I tried my best to squeeze past without touching him. Even as my entire body begged for the exact opposite to happen.