"For our date tonight, I was thinking we should dream connect again. Or at least try to."
I frowned and stared at the floor. "Tristan, maybe we should just slow down and take a few minutes to really think about this. We're talking about lying to our parents. A lot. And often. My family is going to know if I lie to them. How long do you really think we could keep this a secret? I mean, I want to see you, too, don't get me wrong. But...aren't you worried just the least little bit about the consequences if we get caught?"
He frowned. "We won't get caught. Emily can make you a charm to block your parents from reading your mind."
It wouldn't be my thoughts that would give away what we were doing. "Oh, yeah? And is she also going to make a charm that will do something about my face? Because I don't know about you, but I'm a really crappy liar. They're going to be able to tell I'm lying just by looking at me!"
Smiling, he reached out to take my hand and give it a soft squeeze. "You worry too much. Parents aren't all-powerful. Emily and I get away with stuff all the time."
"Maybe you do. But I've never broken the rules before."
"Which is exactly what's going to help you now. They won't be scrutinizing everything you say and do. So just focus on something else when you're around them and don't worry about it."
The warmth from his hand flowed up my arm, soothing me. Then his thumb started caressing my skin in a small, slow circle, making it tough for me to think straight. Probably exactly as he intended.
I tugged my hand free and crossed my arms over my chest. "Tristan, be serious here. I don't want to hurt my family."
Sighing, he crossed his arms over his chest, too, and frowned. Rocking back on his heels, he asked, "Do you want to be with me?"
"I... Yes. But-"
"And do you think it's fair for our families or the Clann or anyone else to tell us who we can and can't be with?"
"Well, no, I guess not, but they-"
"No buts. I'm tired of others running my life for me. They've kept us apart for seven years. It's time we take back control over our own lives. Do what we think is right. Their issues are theirs, not ours. It's not your fault your family got kicked out of the Clann. And it's not my fault, either. So why punish us?"
I slumped, feeling his arguments physically wearing me down. Fighting him was hard enough. But standing up against both him and my own heart was starting to feel like an impossible battle. "Exactly how do you expect us to date in secret without someone finding out? Where would we even go on a date?"
He cocked his head in the direction of the dance room next door. "We'll always have the dance room. It can be our place. And we can dream connect. Every night if you want to."
I thought about his reputation for taking girls to restaurants, to the movies, to parties. He was talking about giving all that up and settling for dates spent sitting on a cold cement floor with takeout or only in our shared imaginations. Not that I'd mind. I'd take any kind of date with him I could get. But what about what he was used to? Wouldn't he miss all that while dating me? He deserved better.
I sighed, unable to escape my biggest worry of all. "Tristan, are you sure this is really you making these decisions?"
His eyebrows drew together in confusion, then he frowned. "Is this about the eye thing again? Savannah, that was over months ago."
"No, that was a week ago. In the closet, before we..." My face burned, and I couldn't finish.
"So you made eye contact with me again. No big deal. That was just some accidental spell you put on those boys or something. I would have felt it if you'd used any magic on me, and I haven't."
But it wasn't magic behind the gaze daze. Unfortunately, I couldn't explain that without also telling him about my vampire side. "What if it's not magic? What if it's something else?"
"Like what?"
I ground my teeth, at a loss for an explanation. "Just go with me here on this, okay? What if it's not like doing a spell or whatever, so you can't feel magic being used when I gaze daze someone? How close were you when I gaze dazed those guys in our ninth-grade algebra class?"
"I don't know, maybe fifty yards?"
"And how far away can you normally feel magic being used?"
"Depends on how strong it is. I've heard everyone on campus can feel it when my energy spikes." He grinned.
I tried not to roll my eyes. "So then either the gaze daze is a really low level of power use, or it's something that just can't be felt. Right?" Lord, I was so reaching here.
"Fine. Even if it is, I think I'd know if I felt differently when you looked at me. And I didn't."
"Then why did you act different? Why did you suddenly decide you wanted to be with me? You weren't even speaking to me before you fought with Greg."
"Savannah, my feelings for you have always been there. I've always needed to be with you. After you ended things with Greg, I just didn't see the point in fighting them anymore." He stroked my cheek. "It wasn't your eyes that made me want to live my own life for a change. Just you."
Oh, how I wanted to believe that. I leaned into his hand, feeling every muscle in my body relaxing against my will. I put up one last token argument. "Maybe I should move in with my father, after all. If I was gone, then you could know for sure whether you were thinking clearly or under the gaze-daze effect. And if it turned out to be the gaze daze, maybe with me gone it might wear off-"
"You do and I'll just have to find you," he growled, but his thumbs made a lie of his ferocious tone by softly caressing my cheeks. "And then it'd be all your fault for making me miss school."
He was pretty used to getting what he wanted all the time. I could easily imagine him skipping school just to chase down some elusive girl. My lips twitched with the urge to smile.
"You want to know for sure I'm not under a spell?" he asked.
"It would be nice, yes."
"Then look at me."
I looked at his nose.
"My eyes, Savannah. Look into my eyes. And keep looking. See if they change like those other guys' did."
No way, I could not do it to him a third time. The effects would never wear off at this rate.
"Look at me."