This did not make me feel better. "Tristan, are you telling me that every time we dream connect, you're sleeping in your yard?" Where anything could attack him in his sleep. The nearby town of Palestine was notorious for both its dangerously aggressive wild hogs and its black-cat population in the miles of woods surrounding it; any of those animals could easily stray into our area. What if a crazed wild hog or a black cat found their way into the woods behind Tristan's house some night when he was sleeping outside and decided to attack him?
And even if that didn't happen, this was East Texas. The insects would eat him alive in the warmer months, he was risking getting sick or hypothermia in the winter and tornadoes were practically guaranteed in the spring. This went beyond nuts. Did he have a death wish or something?
"Would you quit worrying so much?" He gave my ponytail a quick yank. "I'm fine. Now look up, quick. The ball is dropping."
Frowning, I let him turn me around, hug me from behind, while he made the pretend ball of lights drop down to light the New Year's numbers. But inside, my organs seemed to be sinking an inch at a time right along with that lit ball.
All the things he was missing or enduring because of me kept adding up to a really long list. Why was he even dating me? I wasn't worth this much trouble.
"Hey, I've got an idea," he said. "Why don't you think of your New Year's resolution while I change things around here?"
I managed a nod and stared down at the ground. The sound of the crowd abruptly shut off, but I barely noticed. Beneath our feet, the cement and asphalt turned to moss.
"Okay, you can look now."
I looked up. We were in the clearing of our usual woods, but where our picnic blanket normally lay now stood a massive oak tree supporting a tree house. The same tree house from our childhood dreams.
The gnawing chill in my heart melted a bit. "Oh, Tristan. You remembered every detail of it."
"After you, my lady." He swept into a low bow before the ladder, which was actually just boards nailed to the tree trunk.
I climbed up and through the already open trapdoor then stood. "Is it bigger now?" My head should be hitting the ceiling, but it was nowhere near it. I felt like a little kid again.
He took my hand and led me to the balcony. "Yep, had to enlarge it. We're a heck of a lot taller now."
I returned his smile as I leaned on my forearms against the railing. The view was gorgeous from here. The moonlit forest surrounded us, stretching out in every direction like an endless ocean of swaying, sighing pine trees.
"It's beautiful," I whispered.
"But wait, there's more."
Booming erupted above us, followed by crackling. I jumped and looked at the sky with a gasp.
"Fireworks," he said with a boyish grin.
I laughed even as tears stung my eyes. "Very nice idea." Too nice. He was way too good a boyfriend for me.
He put an arm around me, letting me enjoy the pretend display in the sky for a few minutes. Then he turned me to face him.
"So have you figured out your New Year's resolution yet?" His voice was soft and even deeper than usual.
"Mmm, probably going to be the same as last year. Try to be a better person." And then some.
"Impossible. You're already perfect."
If he only knew. "And you? What's your resolution?"
"Hmm. How about to be the perfect boyfriend for you?" He whispered the words against the sensitive skin below my ear, making a shiver ripple over me.
"That's sweet." But all the kisses in the world couldn't distract me from the inescapable truth. No matter how right we seemed together, we could never truly be perfect for each other. Not as long as the rules and the rest of the world said we were supposed to be off-limits to one another.
Not as long as everyone thought I was a danger to him.
He searched my eyes. "Are you happy, Savannah?"
Tough question. The true answer was both yes and no. The more I was with him, the more I fell in love with him. But the more I loved him, the more I hated having to keep him a secret from my family and friends.
Still, he wanted an answer, and of course he expected it to be a happy one. "Why wouldn't I be happy? I get to date the sweetest-"
"Hottest?" he suggested.
I nodded. "Hottest, funniest-"
"Smartest?" Eyebrows raised, he lifted his nose in the air, apparently trying to look like some sort of genius.
"Most arrogant guy in our school," I finished with a laugh. Growling, he bent his head down and nipped my earlobe until I giggled.
"Who's also a good kisser?" The tip of his nose brushed a path over my cheek, his strong hands on my hips tugging me closer to him.
"The best," I corrected in a ragged whisper before he gave me a light kiss. We had to keep our kisses short and to a minimum in our dreams. Otherwise we tended to get distracted and lose the connection between our minds. Too many of our shared dreams had been cut short until we'd figured this out.
He pressed his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes, his expression solemn now and filling up the entire view before me. "I love you."
Something bubbled up inside me like a fountain of liquid sunlight. "Really?" I whispered, unable to stop a grin from forming.
"Yeah. Really."
"I love you, too, Tristan." And in that moment, they were the easiest, most natural words in the English language to say.
He tugged the rubber band out of my hair, setting my wild curls free so he could bury his hands in them. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back, forgetting to keep it light, letting myself drown in the sensation of his lips moving over mine until the dream ended.
I woke up but kept my eyes closed, the memory of those three little words warming me from head to toe.
If only we could stay asleep and in our dreams together for the rest of our lives, my life would be perfect.
But gradually, maybe inevitably, the sensation of his kiss faded from my lips and an ache filled my lungs. Being with him felt so right. Until we were apart, when it all suddenly felt so wrong.
I loved him. Utterly. Completely. Totally. There wasn't a single cell inside my body that did not adore him. If he weren't in the Clann, he would be the single most perfect boyfriend imaginable.
But he was in the Clann. And worse, he was expected to become their future leader.