Gwen thought about all she said, and her mother’s thoughts confirmed her own. She knew her mother would have wisdom to share, and she felt better already. In some ways, the two of them thought exactly alike.
Feeling resolved on the issue, Gwen sighed and looked away, and found her thoughts drifting back to Thor. It weighed on her even more than any of her other troubles. She wished she had never sent him away; it was nagging at her and would not go away. She wished she could take it back. But it was too late.
As she looked at her mother, she suddenly wondered how much her mother knew. She was starting to realize that maybe, deep down, that was why she had really come to her to begin with—not to discuss her uncle, but to discuss Thor.
“I made a grave mistake today,” Gwen said, not looking at her, looking out through the window, her voice getting deeper and harder, sounding more and more like her mother’s. “I sent away someone who loved me very much.”
The former queen sighed.
“A mistake all of us are bound to make at one time. But the one thing you learn in life, as years turn into decades, is that it’s never too late to rectify your mistakes. There is always a second chance. And if there’s not, you can always create a second chance. The power to create it lies in your hands.”
“I am afraid, in my case, it might be too late,” Gwen said. “I may have just sent him to his death.”
There was a long silence as her mother studied her.
“You speak of Thorgrin?” she asked.
Gwendolyn nodded back.
“Yes. I suppose you should be happy, mother. You hated him anyway.”
Her mother sighed.
“I never hated him,” she corrected. “I hated him for you .”
“Because of who his father is?” Gwendolyn asked.
As she asked the question, she watched her mother’s eyes closely. She saw them flicker, and she knew then that her mother knew. Gwen could not believe it.
“You knew !” Gwendolyn said, standing, outraged. “You knew all this time, and you never once told me!”
Her mother shook her head sadly.
“I told you to stay away from him. I tried to force you to stay away from him.”
“But you still didn’t tell me,” Gwen insisted.
“I knew that one day you would find out,” she said. “I wanted you to learn the news on your own. So you could decide for yourself to stay away from him.”
“Because you think his father’s blood runs in him? Because you think he will harm me?”
The Queen shook her head.
“No. You still don’t understand. Not because there is any flaw in Thorgrin. But because there is a flaw in you .”
Gwen looked back, confused.
“In me?” she asked.
“You are just like your father—you and all of the MacGils. You have always put so much credence on ancestry. But you are all wrong. There is much more to a person than who they descend from. How many countless tyrants descend from noble kings? And how many good kings descend from monsters? The son never equals the father.”
Gwendolyn thought about that. Of course, her mother was correct. But it was still hard, emotionally, to accept it, especially after what Andronicus had done to her.
“You cannot blame sons for fathers’ sins,” the queen added.
“You should have told me,” Gwendolyn said.
“I told you to stay away from him.”
“But you should have told me why . You should have told me the truth, the whole truth, upfront.”
“And what would you have done? Would you have stayed away from him?”
Gwendolyn thought about that, caught off guard. Her mother had a point.
“I … might have.”
“You would not have,” her mother retorted. “You were blinded by love.”
Gwendolyn pondered that.
“I never thought Thor would be a bad match for you,” her mother said. “On the contrary, I knew he would be the perfect match.”
Gwen furrowed her brow, confused.
“Then why did you so try so hard to keep us apart?” she asked.
She studied her mother, who seemed strangely silent.
“I sense there’s something else you’re not telling me, mother.”
Her mother turned and looked away, and finally Gwen could sense that she was onto something. Her mother was withholding something from her.
After a long silence, her mother finally cleared her throat.
“There was a prophecy,” her mother said slowly, tentatively. “I haven’t spoke of it since you were a child. The night you were born, a stargazer came to your father. He proclaimed a prophecy about you. He proclaimed that you would be a great ruler—a greater ruler than your father ever was.”
Gwendolyn’s heart pounded as something made sense.
“Is that why he chose me to rule?” she asked. “Of all the children? Because of the prophecy?”
Her mother shrugged.
“Possibly. I don’t think so. I think he saw something in you. I think he would have chosen you either way. He loved you the most. Even more than me.”
Gwendolyn could feel her mother’s jealousy, her sadness; for the first time, she felt sorry for her.
“I am sorry, mother,” she said.
Her mother shrugged and looked away, yet by the way she was wringing her hands, Gwen could tell there was something more on her mind.
“What is it?” Gwen asked, puzzled.
Her mother would not meet her eyes and something occurred to Gwen.
“Was there something more to the prophecy?” Gwendolyn pressed, sensing that there was. “Surely that wasn’t the only reason you scared Thor away?”
Her mother hesitated, reluctant. Finally, after an endless silence, her mother looked right at her, and Gwen could see the heaviness in her gaze.
“The prophecy foretold that you would marry,” her mother said, her voice grave. “That you would bear a son. And that your husband would die young.”
Gwendolyn gasped. She tried to catch her breath, feeling as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her head.
“That is why I did not want you to be with Thorgrin,” her mother finally admitted. “I wanted to spare you that heartbreak.”
Gwendolyn stood, numb. She was in a trance as she walked from the room and back into the hall, wishing her life was over.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO