Caitlin looked around the room, and glanced at the silver case with her father’s letter inside, stil unopened. As she looked at it, she had a moment of worry: she felt that if she opened it, if she read it, it would lead her somewhere, and things would change. She looked away from it, more determined than ever not to open it.
She got up from bed and walked across the room, her bare feet nice and cool on the stone, and took the bejeweled case, and hid it behind a drape. She didn’t want to look at it. She didn’t want anything to change. She was determined for nothing to change.
Caitlin slowly got dressed, putting on the new clothes that the nun had given her. She had washed them the night before in the stream, and had hung them out to dry on the edge of a gargoyle outside her window. She was surprised by how fast they had dried, how fresh they had become, as she put them back on. She felt ready to face the day.
Caitlin had to figure out what to do to replace her wardrobe.
Now that she was final y settled—
and in an enormous castle with endless closet space—she was sure she could figure something out.
If need be, she would take up sewing, knitting—whatever was necessary. With al the sheep everywhere, she was sure there had to be a local farmer who sold some kind of clothing. It wouldn’t be 21st century fashion, but then again, that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to blend in, to become a part of this time, this place, these people. More than anything, she just wanted to live here, to make this her home. Whatever they wore, she would be happy to wear, too.
Caitlin opened the huge double glass doors, and stepped out onto the patio. The sun-baked stone felt nice on her feet, and she lifted her chin and felt herself being warmed by the sun. The nun had given her fresh skin wraps, and fresh drops for her eyes, and the sun didn’t bother her at al .
On the contrary, it felt good.
She walked to the edge of the banister, placed her hands on it, and gazed out at the horizon. She was caressed by the ocean breezes as she looked out at the endless blue sky, past the rol ing hil s, and saw the waves crashing in the distance. The beach was completely empty. This seemed to be such a remote place, she wondered if anyone ever came to the beach.
“There you are,” came the voice.
Caitlin turned, and was delighted to see Caleb up, already dressed, heading towards her.
He walked right up to her, a huge smile on his face, and she broke into a smile, too. She took two steps towards him, and they met in a long kiss, fol owed by a hug.
It felt so good to be in his arms, especial y first thing in the morning.
Slowly, they pul ed back and looked into each other’s eyes.
“I dreamt of you,” he said.
“Good dreams, I hope.”
He smiled wider. “Of course.”
She was curious what he’d dreamt, but he didn’t offer any more, and she didn’t want to pry.
That was the thing about Caleb: he could sometimes mysteriously fal into silence, and it was sometimes hard to read his thoughts. Of course, they both had the power to read each other’s thoughts, but she also noticed that, paradoxical y, when they were at their closest, it became harder to hear what each other was thinking. It was almost as if the more in love they were, the more that their power was obscured the power. As if certain things were meant to be kept hidden.
She desperately wanted to know everything he was thinking now, but again, she found his thoughts obscured.
She took his hand, and they walked together to the balcony, looking out.
“I love it here,” she said. “I’m already thinking of al the ways we can fix it up.”
As she spoke the words, she noticed the smile on his face drop, ever so slightly. It was a subtle change of expression, but she was close to enough to him now that she could see it. She also felt the grip of his hand loosen, just the slightest bit. She couldn’t read his mind, but as a woman, she could sense the slightest pul ing away.
Why? she wondered.
“That would be great,” he said.
But there was something in the tone of his voice, some subtle thing she detected, that told her that something was bothering him. That he was troubled by something.
Was she imagining it?
What had gone wrong? she wondered. Is he changing his mind about us?
She stared at him, looking into his eyes, which looked off at the horizon, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
“Are you happy to be back here?” she asked, gently prying.
“Yes, very much,” he answered.
She wanted to say: Then why do I see sadness behind your eyes? Is it me? Do you not love me as much as you thought?
But she was too scared to say it. And she didn’t want to push him away.
So instead, Caitlin fel silent. But she felt her heart slowly beginning to break.
She thought back on their relationship, of al the places they’d been. New York City. Boston.
Edgartown. Venice. Rome. They had always been on the run; there had never been time for them just to be quiet, to be together. To enjoy themselves as a couple.
Now, that time had come. Maybe now that there were no more obstacles, that there was nothing between them, it was not as exciting for him. Maybe he was scared by being so close. Maybe the only thing that had made him love her, she worried, had been the circumstances, the fact that they could not be together.
Maybe now that they were together, he didn’t know what to do.
And was Caleb real y the type of man that could live a domestic life, not on the run, not heading into battle?
Content to just sit there and make a home and live in it?
She started to worry. Maybe he wasn’t. After al , look at how he had lived his life for the last thousand years. How could he possibly change al that now? Just for her?
Or, Caitlin wondered, was her mind just playing tricks on her? Was she just imagining the whole thing? Was she blowing it al out of proportion? Was she just being too sensitive, looking into things that weren’t there? After al , he did say it would be great. Had he real y meant it?
Caitlin knew she had to get the bottom of this. She couldn’t live a lie. If for some reason he wasn’t interested in her, she had to know. She had to.
She felt herself slowly shaking, as she geared up to ask.
“Caleb,” she began softly, her throat going dry, her voice trembling, “Is everything okay?”
He looked at her, as if puzzled.
“You seem…sad,” she said. “Like you’re not entirely happy.”