“Why is it not doing what it’s supposed to?” I yell as I turn around. Nick cracks up, all doubled over. Dev’s hand covers his mouth and his shoulders shake because he’s trying not to become hysterical.
Issie straight-arm points at them. “No laughing.”
“It’s not staying in the lane,” I say. I check to make sure the latch on my anklet is secure. It’s so delicate. I’m terrified of losing it.
“You have to roll it straight,” Nick says. He stands up and grabs a ball out of the ball return bin thingy that’s between all the lanes.
Bowling balls crash into pins in other lanes. Cassidy squeals, “I rock!”
“Awesome job, Cassidy!” Devyn yells.
Issie starts trying to tie her shoes better, fumbling around with the laces.
“Okay. First, when you throw the ball with your right hand you want your left foot to be the one in front. Opposite way if you’re doing it leftie,” Nick says. He puts the ball in my hand. Our fingers touch. Something electric passes between them. I sniff. He smells good, like trees and mint and cake.
“Uh-huh.”
More pins fall down. More balls thunder down the wooden lanes. He takes my good arm and swings it back in slow motion. “You want to keep your wrist and palm rigid, don’t bend it.”
“But the ball is heavy. How do I not bend it?”
Nick’s fingers steadily brush against my skin. Warmth shivers up my tendons and ligaments. I try not to sway.
“They’re candlepin, Zara,” Dev says. He’s got a ball balanced on his lap, patiently awaiting his turn, but obviously thinking I’m a complete fool. “They aren’t even big balls.”
Issie starts snorting. “Big balls.”
I snort too.
Dev groans. “You guys are not mature.”
“Okay, let’s just try it. I’ll help you,” Nick says. He’s still right behind me, swinging my arm for me. I am so focused on the heat radiating from him that I almost turn around and hug him. Then I remember. I release. I release really, really late. The ball lobs through the air and plunks in the middle of the lane. It smacks. People stare.
“No throwing! You’ll damage the floors!” the bowling attendant person yells from behind the counter.
I hide my face behind my hands and run back to Issie. “Did I hit anything, at least?”
“No, sweetie. Sorry.”
“I think it’s her follow-through,” Nick says to Dev. “She has no follow-through.”
“She’s not meant for bowling,” Dev agrees. “The trajectory is all off.”
I slump down and cross my arms over my chest. “Nice. Totally nice thing to say to me when I’m still trying to recover. Injured. Remember?”
Dev blushes. “Sorry, Zara.”
I punch him in the arm. “Just kidding.”
“You know what I like about the Norse gods?” he asks randomly. “I like that Odin was their head guy and it wasn’t because he was the hottest or strongest. It was because he was the wisest with the best magic.”
“And this has to do with bowling, how?” I ask as Issie gets a fantastic gutter ball.
“Because in the big scheme of things it’s not always the physically gifted who rule,” Devyn says. “Being in the chair helped me understand that. I’d give up my legs over my mind any day. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad to have them back.”
Devyn’s right. So what if I am a horrible bowler. Besides, I can’t feel too sad about having ten gutter balls in a row, since Issie is even worse.
“Eleven!” she squeals. “That’s eleven zeros in a row.”
“This is so normal,” I whisper to Nick. “It’s so wonderful normal.”
. . .
About halfway through the night, I head off to the girls’ bathroom alone, which is very brave of me, apparently.
Cassidy is in there washing her hands at the sink across from two blue stalls. “Zara? Hey!”
“Hi, Cassidy.” I try to be nice because there’s really no reason to hate her. It’s just that she’s a threat to the love that should be Is and Devyn.
She squints at me a couple of times, shuts the water off, and says, “Nick doing okay?”
“Yeah. Why?” I ask as she starts wagging her hands in the air to dry them.
She stumbles around for the words. “Yeah . . . he just . . . he looked a little off at school today. Something happen at lunch?”
“He’s okay,” I say.
“You guys are honestly just the cutest couple.”
I cock my head. I have to pee but I don’t move. I wait for her to say more.
“You are!” she says, scratching at her neck. “You are lucky! Don’t look at me that way. I know you had to move up here from Charleston and everything, but it’s like . . . oh, I don’t know. You and Issie are like this.” She makes her first two fingers stick together.
I nod and try to say pretty pointedly, “She’s my best friend.”
“Plus, with Dev, it’s like you’re a gang of four.” She keeps talking. “I get jealous of it, you know? And you have Nick and he so obviously is into you. He’s always watching you and smiling at you. He’s like a bodyguard.”
I grab the handle of the stall door and stare out of the tiny black window that’s way up on the wall at the opposite side of the room. It’s just a rectangle of darkness. A bodyguard. Is that why he loves me? Because I’m someone he can protect?
“And you’re smart but not nerdy. And you are such a great runner.” Cassidy finishes her lip gloss, smacks her lips, and tosses the tube back in her purse, which looks like it’s a Kate Spade knockoff. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just talking crap, but it’s like your life has already started and the rest of us are just waiting . . . you know? Waiting to get out of here or something? To find someone? Something? To be something.”
I have no idea if she’s talking about liking Devyn or just in general. I guess I take too long to answer, because she smiles at herself, shaking her head. “I’m obviously an idiot. I need a life.”
I touch her arm with my free hand. “You have a life, Cassidy.”
“Yeah, right.” She snorts. “I feel like I spend half my time hiding who I really am.”