“No,” I whispered, the breath ghosting out of me along with any hope he’d understand. That he’d forgive me this stupid, stupid mistake. “Oh, no…”
I stopped myself from rushing to him. From grabbing him and cradling his head in my lap. Barely.
I was in too deep.
Swallowing whatever thing swelled in my throat, I narrowed my eyes, pushed back my shoulders, and stretched to my full height. I could not allow them to think I was intimidated.
I was the alpha.
“Dammit,” I snapped again.
Dmitri holstered his piece and shook his head at me. “He will be fine. He will not even feel it when he regains consciousness—how do you say it? When he comes to? The benefit of being oboroten, da? You barely feel anything.”
I swallowed again at those last few words.
You barely feel anything.
Then why did my chest clench and ache at the sight of Gareth on the ground? And why did knowing how bad I’d screwed things up this time make it suddenly so impossible to breathe?
Alexi
The road conditions were far less than optimal as we made our way back to Junction’s main street, got a cell signal, and subsequently new directions. Our slow speed only intensified Pietr’s growing panic.
“Something’s wrong, I know it,” he said.
“Da. Of course something is wrong, Captain Obvious. Jessie’s been kidnapped,” I pointed out.
Pietr glared at me.
“Again,” Max drawled. “Do you think our Jessie is a magnet for trouble?” he asked offhandedly.
“At one time I believed you were attracted to her, so da. Yes. She must be a magnet for trouble,” Cat stated, picking at her fingernails.
Max growled a laugh, but Pietr failed to find the humor.
“Can’t we go faster?” he asked, leaning forward to rub the dashboard as if that would change things.
“We will do her no good if we die in a fiery crash,” I stated, my teeth gritted against the frustration I felt. “We will make it to the motel. Soon.”
Pietr looked at me, his eyebrows arching with worry.
“Nyet, not as soon as you want.”
“As long as it is soon enough,” he whispered. “That is all that matters.”
Marlaena
“Unfortunately,” Dmitri was saying, “this little mess means we must move up our plan. She is more dangerous than you thought, and with Gareth knowing you took her…”
“I didn’t take her,” I protested.
“It looks that way from where I’m standing,” Dmitri said coolly. “And it will most definitely appear that way to Gareth.” He nudged Gareth’s limp form with the toe of his boot.
“Don’t do that,” I demanded, going down on my knees beside Gareth. I rolled him over, sliding my hands under his armpits and tugging him up so that his head lay in my lap. I brushed the hair back from his eyes, my hand trembling.
Dmitri shook his head. “You are an alpha. Act like it.”
“I am,” I said with a snarl. “I am protecting my pack. I was releasing Jessica so that she would not bring the others against us.”
Dmitri bent forward at the waist, bringing him nearly nose-to-nose with me. “As much as you think you should release her, as much as you know it is what Gareth would like, deep down you know you want her to suffer. She has something you want, da?”
Images of Pietr filled my head, slipping across every bit of my brain and I fought it all down, holding Gareth more tightly. “No,” I croaked out. “I have all I want right here. Right now.”
Dmitri glowered at me. “Liar.” He shrugged. “Or perhaps…” He focused on my face with an intensity I had only seen him use when sparring. “Perhaps you do have all you want here and now. Perhaps this is a need.…” He chuckled and straightened. “It does not matter anymore. It is all semantics, da? The wheels have been put into motion. The juggernaut of destiny is now on the move. You owe me Pietr. Remember. We have a bargain. The safety and comfort of your pups for Pietr Rusakova.”
Dmitri focused his gaze beyond my shoulder and I heard Gabe grunt behind me. “She’s not as light as she looks. Farm girls must be packed with muscle.”
Putting his hands behind his back, Dmitri swayed on his feet, his mouth twisting in a sly smile he turned on me. “Winter in the northeast is a particularly harsh time when one is homeless. And hunted. Did you not lose Harmony in Chicago?” he chided. “It would be awful to lose another … And they are so young. So innocent. They look to you to protect and guide them as an alpha should.” He tilted his head, his eyes hard. “Will you back out on me and see your pack put on the streets?”
I looked away, clenching my jaw, and focused on Gareth lying as if he slept in my lap. I could go along with Dmitri. I could lose Gareth’s love for me. Or I could lose more lives.
Love might—eventually—be recovered. My brain pounded against my skull. Love might be recovered, yes, but lives … Despite my natural body heat and insulation against the cold, I shivered, realizing.
I had no money to keep us housed and fed and safe.
I had no allies.
I had no options.
As much as I wanted Gareth’s love, I needed my pack to be safe.
Need always won.
I gently slid Gareth’s head off my lap and watched Dmitri bind his hands. It would barely slow him down, but slowing him down was necessary.
“Put her in the car,” Dmitri said to Gabriel.
I rubbed my head. “You,” I said to Dmitri, trying to regain some semblance of control, “make an excuse for us to the pups. And tell them to stay inside. To keep the doors locked, ignore the phones, and to not let anyone—not anyone—in until we come back.”
He grinned. “I will reword it so none of them wets themselves with worry,” he muttered before walking away.
“Do you know what we’re doing?” I asked Gabriel. “Where are we even going?” I’d thought we’d have more time. I needed more time, time to plan.
Why did time always run like water through my fingers?
“Where are we going?” I repeated.
He grinned at me, cocksure. “Straight to Hell,” he said, closing the trunk on Jessica’s body. “But at least it will be warmer there.”
Alexi
The glowing sign blinked from off to on and back again ahead of us, unsure what dusk was—day or night? Missing a letter and a numeral, the sign read: OTEL. “There it is,” I said, thrusting out my chin.