With my knees shaking, I got up, walked over to his father, and held out my hand. "May I have it?"
He arched a sandy blond brow at me but handed it over.
I took it to Connor. "There is nothing I've ever wanted more than I wanted to be a Dark Guardian." Except you. But it wouldn't be fair to him to tell him that. Not now. Not with what we were about to face—what we had to face separately. "You can't throw that away. Besides, I want you there tomorrow."
I could tell he was shocked by my words.
"I can make it through this thing if I can look over and see you. I draw strength from your presence. And if they determine that I can't be a Dark Guardian—and quite honestly I'd vote against me—I'll survive. So think about your vote. Your dad's right—it shouldn't be based on emotion. The pack comes first." I tucked the envelope behind his crossed arms.
As I walked out of the room, he didn't say a word. And I knew he'd be there tomorrow, doing his duty as a Dark Guardian, determining my fate.
SEVENTEEN
I wore black trousers, a black shirt, and a black jacket. I looked like someone preparing to go to a funeral. I just hoped it wasn't my own.
My mom wanted to come with me, but I felt as though there were some things I needed to face alone. This was one of them. I'd always known my actions—claiming to be a Shifter when I wasn't, sneaking into the treasures room, other lies and transgressions— came with consequences. Not to mention everything I'd told Mason. If anyone discovered the secrets I'd revealed…
I hadn't told them about my trip to the white and black room, its decor so eerily symbolic. Good and evil. Connor didn't even know everything I'd told Mason, all that had transpired while I'd been away from him. But whatever my punishment was for any of my offenses, I was prepared to accept it. Given the choice, I knew I'd do them all again—especially the deals I'd made with Mason. To save Connor, I would have given up my life.
I drove Mom's car to Wolford. We were going to go car shopping this afternoon—regardless of this morning's outcome. Since she now had confirmation that I'd never be traveling on all fours, she'd decided I needed some wheels. I was okay with that.
Now I was waiting to be called into the council room. I paced in front of the door, trying not to think about what was going to happen on the other side. I'd prepared a little speech, but I thought I might hyperventilate before I could give it. It would be so much easier if they'd just let me wrestle for the right to remain a Guardian.
The door opened, and I swore it sounded like the report of a rifle.
Lucas came through looking as though his face had been set in stone this morning, and I realized this wasn't any easier for them than it was for me. Why hadn't I just faced the truth of my situation after the full moon? Why had I tried so hard to hide it? Secrets always came out.
"We're ready for you," he said solemnly.
With a nod, I followed him into the room and stood in the designated spot. In front of me, the three elders sat at a table covered with a black cloth. Like judges, they wore black robes. Resting before Elder Wilde was a book I recognized—the book that housed the ancient text. So things were going to be pretty formal. I'd heard somewhere that in ancient days they'd thrown the guilty into a pit of real wolves. I was really hoping that wasn't one of the ancient rituals they clung to.
Behind them was a large flat-screen TV. I had a feeling that didn't bode well for me.
On either side of their table, at an angle, were two other long ones, also covered in black. Six guardians sat at one, five at the other. My stomach knotted up with the significance of the chair beside Connor being empty. I didn't know if I'd ever wanted to sit beside him as much as I did right at that moment. For the first time in ages, his hair looked as though a comb, instead of his fingers, had gone through it. He had no stubble whatsoever adding shadow to his face. Like all the other guardians, he was dressed in black. As handsome as he appeared, I missed the rough, don't-mess-with-me look that usually characterized him. My stomach fluttered just a bit as I envisioned him—polished and perfect—striding into a courtroom years from now.
Elder Wilde slammed a gavel on a slab of wood, and I jumped. I hadn't been this unnerved facing Mason. But then the only thing at risk had been my life. Right at that moment, I knew I could lose everything I treasured. Everything that made my life worth living.
"The tribunal will begin," he said in a deep, sonorous voice that echoed off the walls, and made me think the reverberations would hang around for generations. "Guardian Reed, you have been brought before this tribunal because of actions and failures to act that cause us great concern regarding your ability to effectively serve as a Dark Guardian, protector of our kind. Please step forward."
I did as instructed, three long steps that seemed to take forever to make.
He pushed the leather and gilded book toward me. "Do you swear on the ancient text to answer all questions truthfully?"
I placed my palm on the book. I'd touched it before but never had it felt so intimidating. "I do."
"Step back."
Again, I followed his orders. I knew now was not the time to be belligerent, even though I thought they were being a little too dramatic. It seemed to me this could be handled fairly quickly.
Are you a Shifter?
No.
You're outta here.
But the elders apparently thought things needed to be dragged out.
"Was the last full moon designated as your shifting moon?" Elder Wilde asked.
"It was."
"Did you face it alone?"
"I did."
"Did you shift?"
I darted a glance at Connor. He gave me a barely perceptible nod. It was enough to strengthen my resolve not to cower from the truth. "No."
"Did you tell Shifters that you did?"
I furrowed my brow. "I don't think I ever actually said I did, but I might have insinuated that I did."
"Are you a Shifter, Guardian Reed?"
Out of love and respect for my mother, and the choice she'd made, I lifted my chin as haughtily as I could. "No, I'm human."
Kudos for me. My voice didn't shake.
"Are you aware that only Shifters may serve as Dark Guardians?"
"Yes."
"You didn't think you needed to inform the elders of this… shortcoming?"