I released a deep breath. In the back of my mind, I thought I'd said too little, that there was more I should have said.
Elder Wilde held my gaze. "The question before the tribunal is whether or not, in light of your actions, you may serve as a Dark Guardian. Before we go any further, I have something to add. The answer you were seeking in the ancient text. I may have found it."
I couldn't have been more stunned if he'd suddenly announced he wasn't a Shifter either. "You didn't even know the question."
He gave me an indulgent smile. "I am the senior elder for a reason."
I wasn't even sure I knew the question anymore. So much had happened, and now I knew I'd never be able to shift, so he certainly hadn't found the secret to that dilemma. "All right. What's the answer?"
"First, answer me this: Are you ready to face your judgment?"
Swallowing hard, I nodded. "Yes, sir."
He folded his hands on the old leather book as though he had the ability to access its contents through osmosis. "The ancient text refers to a woman with the heart of a wolf, but the inability to shift. It says through her the humans and Shifters will unite. Perhaps you will become that woman, Brittany Reed, perhaps not. But the Council of Elders cannot deny you have the heart of a wolf. It is up to the Dark Guardians to determine whether or not you are worthy to stand beside them. As you are his declared mate, Guardian McCandless may not vote."
I saw Connor's jaw clench. But since that was the only reaction he exhibited, I decided he'd known what his declaration would cost him.
"We will take the vote," Elder Wilde said.
Lucas stood. "Worthy."
Kayla. "Worthy."
Rafe. "Worthy."
Lindsey. "Worthy."
Those four I'd expected.
Daniel stood. "Worthy."
I was halfway there.
Five more guardians stood. "Worthy."
I knew Dark Guardians didn't cry, but all the blinking in the world didn't stop a solitary tear from rolling down my cheek. I let it go, didn't try to swipe it away, because I didn't want to bring attention to it.
"The decision has been made. Brittany Reed, you will remain a Dark Guardian."
My knees grew so weak that I thought I was going to have to sit down. "Thank you, sir. I won't let the Shifters down."
He smiled. "I never thought you would, Brittany. You should also know that the elders have always known you didn't have the ability to shift."
I didn't know whether to be angry or stunned. "But you tried to find me a mate."
"So you wouldn't be alone when you learned the truth."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"The transformation involves more than the body. It is a journey of the heart, soul, and mind. You still had roads to travel in order to arrive here."
"That morning in the archive room, you were setting me up."
"We were testing you."
I had a feeling they were still testing me, so I clamped my mouth shut.
With a smile, as though he'd read my thoughts, he said, "This tribunal is now ended." He brought his gavel down with a loud rap.
Chairs scraped back, and I knew the Guardians were going to start coming over to welcome me back, but there was only one I wanted to be with. He met me halfway, put his arms around me, lifted me up, and laughed. It was such a warm, joyous sound.
"Are you sure, Connor? Are you sure you want me for your mate?"
"I've never been more sure of anything."
"But with me you'll never experience that first shifting with a mate, that bond that is created."
His eyes heated, but his voice was teasing. "There are other firsts that we'll experience together, other ways to create bonds."
Then he kissed me—in front of the other Guardians and the elders—but I didn't mind if the whole world knew. At long last, I had my mate. But more than that, I had Connor.
EIGHTEEN
That night we all met at the Sly Fox: Lucas, Kayla, Rafe, Lindsey, Connor, and me.
We were sitting in a horseshoe-shaped booth, eating pizza, and drinking root beer. For the first time in a long time, I really felt included, part of the pack. The tension I'd felt with Lindsey for much of the summer because of her relationship with Connor had melted away. And I was looking forward to getting to know Kayla better. She was going to start jogging with me in the mornings.
"You really took a chance there disqualifying yourself," Lindsey said to Connor. "What if the vote had been tied?"
"My dad advised me that if I didn't want her banned from being a Dark Guardian then I had to convince them that I thought she was worth making sacrifices for. Giving up a vote? Small stuff."
He reached for his mug of root beer and his newest tattoo peeked out from behind his sleeveless shirt. I skimmed my fingers over it. That afternoon, while I'd been out shopping for cars with my mom, he'd had the tattoo bearing Lindsey's name removed. I didn't want details because I was fairly certain it had been a painful process that involved shifting to heal. Then he'd had my name interwoven in a Celtic symbol inked onto his left shoulder. Because the ink is injected into the second layer of skin, while the wound that tattooing creates does heal during shifting, the ink remains in the original design in which it was applied.
"I'd always heard that a Shifter male had to bear the name of his first choice forever," I said.
"Urban legend," he said, as he gave me a quick kiss.
"The whole point was that guys were supposed to be discouraged from making rash decisions regarding their mates," Lindsey said.
"Yeah, well, maybe the girls need to give it a little more thought, too," Connor teased her.
"Can't argue with that." She snuggled against Rafe.
"So tell us about your car," Kayla said.
I couldn't stop the bright smile from forming. "Mom said it needed to reflect my wild outlook, so she bought me a red Mustang."
"Whoa'" Kayla exclaimed. "Way to go, girlfriend. You'll be the coolest girl at school in the fall."
"Oh, I can walk to school. Mostly I'll use it to go see Connor at college. It should get me there pretty fast."
"You better drive slowly," Connor warned. "No accidents."
I knew he was worried because I didn't possess his ability to heal. Our—their—kind did tend to be reckless because only a fatal wound was ever really a problem. But humans lived to ripe old ages, too. I was going to have to look for a new doctor, though, since the only ones Shifters usually went to were pediatricians. Kids didn't have the ability to shift and heal either.