By the time I’d finished bundling up his clothes and tucking them beneath one arm, he’d shifted again and was nuzzling my leg. I grabbed a mass of his fur and let him lead me. It was slow going as he searched for outcroppings that I could use as steps. I lost my footing once or twice and slipped back a little, but he was always there, nudging me with his snout, insisting wordlessly that I try again.
Eventually we made it back up to the cliff. I dropped his clothes as soon as I was over the edge of the cliff. I wandered over to the motorbike; I knew he was shifting and getting dressed behind me. I tried not to think about what he looked like with his clothes off.
“So, hey, thanks for your help with the broken bone.”
I startled, laughed, and turned around. “I’m always surprised by how quiet you can be.”
“It’s our nature to be stealthy. Never sure where a predator might strike.” I could feel his gaze on me. “I guess you don’t want to put my kiss theory to the test before we head back.”
More than I dared to admit. “No. It’s a really bad idea.”
“Depends on your point of view, I guess.” Moving past me, he straddled the bike and turned on the motor. He also flicked on the lights this time. “Climb on. We’d better get back before we’re missed.”
I was afraid it might be a little late for that. I scrambled onto the bike, pressed up against him, and wrapped my arms securely around his waist.
He turned his head to the side. “Lindsey?”
“Yeah?”
“I think you’re beautiful, too.”
He kicked the side stand, revved the engine, and took off before I could respond. It was a good thing, because I had no idea what to say. But all the way back to the home of our elders, I hummed a happy tune in my head.
FIVE
When we got back to Wolford, Rafe swiped an electronic keycard at the gate to open it. It was a recent addition to our defenses, evidence of our strange place in the world, between the archaic and the modern.
He puttered over to an area where a few jeeps and all-terrain vehicles were parked. It was late. The festivities had ended. Everything was quiet as we walked toward the large mansion.
“You go on in,” Rafe said, coming to a stop. “We don’t want to be seen together.”
“Right.” It would be a disaster to run into Connor now. How could I even begin to explain? I couldn’t. “Uh, listen, thanks for getting me away from all the doom and gloom for awhile.”
“Almost getting you killed was a great substitute.”
I smiled. “That was my fault, totally. I’ve hiked in these woods often enough to know that I shouldn’t stand at the very edge of a cliff,” I said, although I still felt as though I were standing at the edge of one. Metaphorically, anyway. “Have you ever considered Brittany? You know, for a mate? She’s available.”
He released a harsh laugh. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to offer alternatives,” I said sincerely.
“I don’t want alternatives. I don’t feel the same hunger around Brittany. I don’t feel anything for her other than mild curiosity and light-hearted friendship. I don’t wonder what it would be like to kiss her. I don’t feel a need to lay with my body curled around hers. I don’t”—he leaned in and skimmed his lips along the side of my face, inhaling as he went, causing heat to swirl through me—“I don’t relish her scent. I don’t dream about her. I want you.”
Before I could respond, he’d turned on his heel and started walking away. My heart was beating erratically and my mouth had gone dry. He’d said it as though he wasn’t giving up. I didn’t know whether to feel flattered or worried.
I almost chased after him. I had to try to talk some sense into him. Instead I let him go, refusing to acknowledge that a small part of me was glad he’d rejected the notion of being with Brittany. Was I a total mess or what?
Inside the residence, a few lights were on low, but it was still amazingly quiet. I assumed everyone was in bed. I headed for the stairs.
“Lindsey?”
My heart almost stopped at the sound of Connor’s voice. I turned slowly to see him standing in the doorway of the parlor. I swallowed hard before saying, “Hey.”
He walked toward me. “Where’d you disappear to? I couldn’t find you.”
I shrugged. “I just…everyone was so melancholy and worried that I just wanted to be by myself for awhile.”
He studied me with his deep-blue eyes, and for a moment he looked sad. My heart nearly stammered to a stop. I wanted to apologize for going off with Rafe, but I was afraid it would only worsen things. I truly didn’t want to hurt Connor. And the truth absolutely would hurt him. Finally he nodded. “So, listen, the sherpas are going to head back to the park entrance in the morning so we can be back in time to guide that scout troop that’s hired us. Thought we’d catch a ride with Lucas. He came in his jeep.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Okay. See you then.”
I knew I should say something more, but guilt was gnawing at me. I hurried up the stairs and down the long hallway, passing various closed doors. Turning a corner, I came up short at the sight of Kayla and Lucas intertwined like a pretzel, kissing in front of the window, limned by the faint moonlight. Judging by the heat they were generating, I was surprised the window hadn’t fogged up. They were so lost in each other that they hadn’t heard me.
As quietly as possible I slipped back around the corner, dropped into a crouch, and pressed my back up against the wall. I had an insane urge to weep. I hardly ever cried, but suddenly I felt lost and so incredibly lonely.
Why hadn’t Connor and I sneaked away to a corner for a quick lip-lock? Or a long one, for that matter? Where was our passion? Would it come after my transformation? Would we be unable to keep our hands off each other then?
I thought about Rafe and how I’d wanted him to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me and how hard it had been to step away from him when I’d wanted to rush toward him. But that was just lust, right? Merely a physical reaction. Love was more than that. Love was internal. Love was your heart and your soul. It was everything that was important. It was—
My thoughts came to a screeching halt as Lucas came around the corner and nearly tripped over me. “Whoa! Lindsey, sorry!”