I was still cold. I slipped further beneath the blankets and looked at Kayla. “I guess we’ll find the answers when we find that Bio-Chrome lab,” I said.
“I wonder how much harder that’s going to be now.”
“I don’t know, but hard isn’t impossible. At least we know the direction to go in.”
“Unless he lied,” Kayla said quietly. “Maybe his mission was to put us off track.”
“Well, we can’t solve the mystery tonight. I’m going to sleep.”
“Are you sure you’re—”
“I’m totally fine,” I answered before she could finish. I rolled over, giving her my back. I heard her bed creak as she settled in. Then the lamp between our beds was clicked off.
I lay there for the longest time, exhausted but unable to sleep. I was acutely aware of Kayla becoming absolutely still. She was never restless in sleep. Then I sensed something beyond the door—a scuffling sound, like someone had stepped onto the porch.
Slipping out of bed, I crept barefoot across the cabin and slowly, quietly opened the door. I stepped onto the porch and drew the door closed. I wasn’t sure how I knew it would be Rafe there. I just knew. I wanted to walk into his embrace, to hold him and let him hold me. I thought about the argument Connor and I had been having. Did he mean what he’d said? Was he right? Did I need to explore these feelings I had for Rafe?
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Rafe said quietly, standing with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
“You didn’t.”
“I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
I felt the tears sting my eyes. “Rafe, I think maybe it’s my fault he was killed.”
“What? No.” Reaching out, he tenderly skimmed his fingers along my cheek. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“But if I hadn’t gone to look for blackberries, if he hadn’t seen you in wolf form—”
He touched his finger to my lips to silence me, then drew me up against him. I drew comfort from his hands stroking my back.
“If he’d told us everything that first night, things might have gone differently. We’ll never know. Things played out the way they did, but none of us had control over that. The only thing we know for sure is that someone was looking for him and now he’s dead. But you can’t carry that burden.”
I could if I wanted, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to argue with him. I’d had enough tension for one night. Right now, being in his arms was as relaxing as getting a massage at my mother’s spa.
“Listen, last night—when I kissed you,” he said softly, “I’m sorry if I upset you. I was just so scared when I saw that cougar…I just needed more than to hold you, to know you were okay. If I’d been able to talk to you right after, it might have been different, but what I was feeling…it had been building—”
“It’s okay.” I cut him off before he said something that either of us would regret.
He pressed a kiss to my forehead, then reluctantly, he released his hold on me and stepped back. “Well, like I said, I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I headed out.”
“Where are you going?”
“To find that lab.”
My heart hammered against my chest. “Are Connor and Lucas going with you?”
“No, they’ve gone to meet with the elders. They’ll be back sometime tomorrow. I’m leaving now.”
“I want to go with you.”
“No, it’s too dangerous.”
“Rafe, I feel like it’s my fault Dallas is dead. I’ll go search for the lab by myself if I have to.”
He released a frustrated sigh. “Lindsey, this isn’t going to be like leaving camp to look for blackberries.”
“I know that. I want to do this.”
“Connor won’t like it.”
Connor was the one who’d told me that maybe I needed to go out with Rafe. I knew that this wasn’t what he had in mind, but still, he couldn’t get too angry at me. This way, I could help as well as spend a little time with Rafe, as he’d suggested. “I have to do this.”
Rafe paused for what seemed like a long time.
“Okay. You’ve got ten minutes to pack.”
Nodding, I reached back for the door.
“Lindsey?”
I glanced back over my shoulder at him.
“Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it—the price we pay to keep our existence a secret?”
“I wonder a lot of things, Rafe.” Mostly about you and me and what this strong feeling truly is that I hold for you. Is it infatuation with the forbidden? Or is it something more?
ELEVEN
It’s not easy to sneak out of your cabin when one of your roommates has recently had her first transformation and her senses are heightened.
“What are you doing?” Kayla asked sleepily as she sat up.
I hadn’t turned on a light, but an outside light that lit the area seeped into our room through the curtained window as I packed my things. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”
“Obviously something is up.”
During the past year, Kayla had become my best friend while my relationship with Brittany had started to become as strained as the one I had with Connor. I knew someone needed to know where I was going, and I believed I could trust her. “I’m going with Rafe to look for the hidden lab.”
The bedroom lamp suddenly came on, and Kayla was staring at me through narrowed eyes. “We’re supposed to take out another group tomorrow.”
“They’re bird watchers. They’re only here for the day. You’ll be fine without me.”
She combed her fingers through her thick, curly red hair and shook it out. “Rafe could probably search faster without you, don’t you think?”
She was right; he could. Would I be hindering him? Was it really my desire to help that had me volunteering to go with him? Or was it something more selfish than that?
“I’m feeling guilty about Dallas. I didn’t really trust him, but he may have died because he was bringing us information.”
“This is me, Lindsey. The truth?”
“That is the truth. Just not all of it.” I sighed and looked at my watch. I only had a few minutes, but I really needed to share all these doubts I had about my destined mate. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I tried to calm my pounding heart. I’d never said this out loud to anyone—not even to myself. Facing my true feelings was terrifying. “Kayla, lately I can’t stop thinking about Rafe. I have these intense dreams about him. And last night he kissed me.”