Connor jerked around, his eyes resting on me. I knew him well enough to see that he wasn’t surprised by my presence, so Kayla had told him as I’d asked. In some ways, it made things easier, and in others so much harder. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to ask me questions, that he was remembering the fight we never finished. I saw regret…and sorrow. At that particular moment I was feeling the same thing. But I was also angry; Rafe was being blamed for my actions.
“What were you thinking?” Connor asked fiercely.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Rafe said. His voice was deeper than usual and carried the hint of a threat.
“It’s okay, Rafe,” I said, trying to calm the situation. “Everyone’s emotions are high right now.”
Since they’d caught up with us so quickly, I assumed they’d traveled in wolf form. We had plenty of extra clothes here for emergencies like this, and they were all dressed now, Kayla wearing loose pants similar to the ones I was wearing.
“I thought I could help,” I told Connor.
“How? If you get hurt—”
“I didn’t get hurt.”
“You didn’t get permission either,” Lucas said, and it irritated me that he was siding with Connor.
“Uh, you’re not the boss of me.” I knew that sounded juvenile, but I didn’t appreciate the accusation.
“Actually I am. ‘Pack leader’ is another name for ‘boss.’”
“If you’re going to get mad at someone, get mad at me,” Rafe insisted. “I knew better and I brought her anyway.”
“And why exactly did you bring her?” Connor asked.
“You know why,” Rafe said, and I realized he was as angry as Connor.
Connor lunged for him. I heard the sickening thud of a fist hitting flesh and bone as they both went down. I screamed, “Stop it! Both of you stop it!”
Only they didn’t. They just kept pounding into each other. It wasn’t the way we fought. I looked at Lucas, who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest as though he was waiting for a bus to arrive. “Do something!” I shouted at him.
He shifted his hard gaze over to me. “What do you suggest?”
I released a harsh curse and jumped into the fray, trying to get their attention. “Guys! Conn—”
Pain ricocheted along my cheek and into my eye. I shrieked and stumbled backward.
“Shit! You hit her!” Rafe said, suddenly kneeling beside me. His face was a bruised and bloody mess, and I thought about all the beatings he’d taken from his father. I reached up to touch his darkening cheek.
“I didn’t hit her. You did,” Connor said, crouching on the other side of me, touching my cheek with a tenderness that was in direct contrast to what he’d been doing just a few seconds ago.
I looked at him. He’d taken the brunt of the punches. One of his eyes was almost swollen shut. I touched the mottled flesh. He winced, and I couldn’t help myself. I started to cry.
He took me into the circle of his arms and held me close, which just made me cry harder. “I don’t know, Connor. I just don’t know.”
He rocked me side to side. “It’s okay. I know.”
I heard scraping along the ground as Rafe got up.
“I’m going outside to heal,” he said, his voice flat, devoid of emotion. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
I didn’t want him to leave—but at the same time, was it fair to ask him to stay? I worked my way out of Connor’s embrace and swiped at my tears. “You should go heal, too.” I felt so stupid for losing it in front of everyone. I was so confused. How could I love two guys at once?
He placed a light kiss on my bruise. “Be here when I get back.”
I didn’t know where exactly he thought I was going to go, and then I realized he was asking me to be there for him. Out of habit, I nodded.
He stood, but instead of going outside like Rafe had, he went into the passageway where the pool was.
Kayla knelt beside me. “I think you’re going to have a beauty of a black eye.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I’d stopped them from killing each other. That was the only thing I considered important.
“I take it you’re not any closer to figuring things out.”
I shook my head. “If at all possible, I’m just more confused. So what happened with the birdwatchers?”
“Zander took them out. I wanted to be here in case, you know, you needed some support.”
I gave her a grateful smile. “I’m glad you’re here, but I really need to talk with Connor.” I shoved myself to my feet and met Lucas’s gaze. “How long do you think the healing will take?”
“A few minutes.”
“Did Connor ask you to reassign Rafe?”
His face was an unreadable mask—and ironically, this gave me the answer.
“So moving Daniel to our team wasn’t about finding someone for Brittany.”
“It was. It just wasn’t the only reason.”
I had a brief moment of wondering how things were going with Brittany, before I grabbed my flashlight and strode into the passageway. I found Connor sitting at the edge of the pool, fully clothed. A quick sweep of the light revealed that he no longer had any injuries. With a sigh I settled down beside him and stared at the pool of water, trying to figure out where I should go from here.
“I’m sorr—” we both started at the same time. Then we each released a self-conscious laugh.
I longed for the days when we were completely comfortable with each other, when we both knew what we wanted. Or thought we did.
“You told me to go out with him,” I said quietly.
“I didn’t mean it. I mean, I was upset. But if I had meant it, I would have been talking about going to a movie for a couple of hours, not trekking through the woods for days—and certainly not putting your life at risk.”
“I’m a Dark Guardian. That’s my job.”
“You’re a novice. You can’t heal like we do. You can’t transform, and you can’t escape as easily if there’s danger.”
“You’re not mad about the danger,” I said softly.
“Do you want to be with him? I mean, are you going to choose him?”
“I don’t know, Connor. But he’s not the only reason I’m here. I asked to come because I wanted to help. Maybe because we found Dallas, and I feel partly responsible for his death.”