“He’s always been there for me.”
“Is that a good enough reason, though? Do you love him?”
“Yes, I love him.”
“But do you love him enough?”
“God, Brittany. What is with you? Do you love him? Is that what this is all about?” I’d asked her before but she’d never given me a definite answer.
She looked out the window again. “Doesn’t matter. You’re the only one he’s interested in. I’ll just be the lone she-wolf. I’ll become legendary. Maybe I’ll start a new trend, and we’ll do away with all this destined mate nonsense.”
“Do you really think that it’s nonsense?”
“I think we’re locked in the old ways. I think we need to come into the twenty-first century.” She slid her gaze over to me. “You could always go through it alone, too. Choose your mate later.”
I shook my head. “I’ve already chosen my mate.”
She got up. “We should probably go down for supper.”
I looked out the window and saw Rafe standing at the edge of the woods. “I’ll be down in a little bit.”
I waited until I knew she would be almost to the dining hall before I slipped out of the room and headed down the back stairs that led outside. I hurried across the grass to the woods, which were quickly becoming lost in shadows as the sun descended and the growing moon began to rise.
I slipped between the trees. “Rafe?”
In his usual quiet way, he was suddenly in front of me. I leaned back against a tree.
Rafe put his arm over my head, pressing his forearm against the tree. He trailed his finger along my cheek. “So you knew I was out here. That means you came to see me.”
Nodding, I gazed into his beautiful dark-brown eyes. I didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to hurt him, but he deserved to hear it from me. “Connor and I are going to leave for the waterfall tomorrow.” Oh, this is hard. “I just wanted you to know…I’m going with him.”
“So you’ve chosen him,” he said with deadly calm. The words were a statement, not a question.
“It was always supposed to be him,” I said.
“Why? Because that’s what your parents want?”
“No, because it’s what I want,” I stated clearly, irritated that everyone seemed to think my parents were responsible for my choices. “He’s a good guy.”
“Yeah.” He gave a harsh laugh. “Makes this hard.”
“I guess you’d challenge and kill him otherwise, right?”
“If he was a jerk—in a heartbeat.”
My own heart sped up. “Well, don’t,” I ordered sternly. “I don’t want him hurt. And if you’re looking for a mate, Brittany is available.”
“I don’t feel for Brittany what I feel for you. Don’t you get that?”
“Rafe, maybe if we’d noticed each other sooner—”
Another burst of harsh laughter came from him. “I’ve noticed you since middle school, but you were always hanging out with Connor. You never gave anyone else a chance.”
Until this summer I hadn’t even considered anyone else, hadn’t wanted anyone else. What was wrong with me? It had always been Connor.
“You told me that you didn’t notice me until this summer,” I reminded him.
“The strong feelings I have for you didn’t hit me until this summer, but I’ve always noticed you. When the full moon comes, and you’re with Connor, think about what you could have had,” he said.
Then he kissed me deeply and thoroughly. I knew I should have protested, should have pushed him away. Instead I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, knowing this would be the last kiss we’d ever share. I wanted it to last forever, even though I knew it couldn’t.
When he drew back, I felt what I always did with Rafe: confused. Maybe I should do what Brittany suggested, I thought. Just go through the transformation by myself and decide later who should be my mate. But then I remembered what Kayla had said about how wonderful it was to go through it with someone you cared for, someone you loved.
“Good-bye, Rafe,” I said quietly and walked away from him.
He didn’t try to stop me. And I thought that probably said it all.
Because I knew deep down that Connor would have tried to stop me from walking away.
SEVENTEEN
“Your dad and I will be here when you get back,” my mom said as she hugged me tightly. “You won’t regret your decision,” she whispered near my ear.
I really could have gone my entire life without that comment. It started to raise those stupid doubts again that Connor was her choice and not mine.
Dad embraced me. “My little girl.” Then he shook Connor’s hand, and Mom hugged Connor.
When Connor and I were finally walking through the woods, I said, “Glad that’s over.”
“They’re just worried about you. How are your wounds?”
“Not bad.” I was limping a little and my shoulder ached, but I’d heal during the transformation. I was feeling much stronger, but neither Connor nor I were pushing ourselves to our hiking limits.
We were traveling quietly, remaining alert. Every now and then, he would hand his backpack and clothes to me, shift while I closed my eyes, and search a wide circle around us. Although his senses were heightened as a human, as a wolf they were even more so.
That night, we took turns keeping watch. The second night a deer approached our camp—it was the only stranger we encountered.
In the afternoon, we arrived at our destination. We climbed the escarpment and followed a winding trail into the small valley that was enclosed by two mountains. On one side of the clearing was the waterfall. On the other was a forest that swept back and up to the other mountain. This was a well-hidden place, not easily found unless someone knew the way. We weren’t concerned that Mason and his group would find us. They had no reason to look for us here.
And in just a few hours, after the full moon rose in the night sky, I’d have the ability to shift and escape just as quickly as Connor could.
Connor took my hand and led me around the pond to where the waterfall emptied with a mighty rush of cascading water. It was noisy here, and as we grew nearer the water’s power created a gust that blew my braids around my shoulders. We slipped behind the waterfall into a cavern.