“I miss you, too. One more year.”
“I might graduate early, maybe December.”
“Really? That’d be great.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it would be.” And I was just babbling about nothing now, trying to get my stomach to relax.
Connor picked up our trash. “I’m going outside. Just meet me there when you’re ready.”
I watched as he grabbed the black robe. When he was gone, I sat with my legs crossed and did some deep breathing exercises. I flexed my muscles, did some stretching, and listened as my joints popped. Then I rose to my feet and began to prepare myself.
I fought not to think about Rafe, to wonder what he might be doing tonight.
Connor was my destiny.
I unbraided my hair and brushed it until it shone to a white gloss, like taffy I’d once seen beaten to a shine. I left it loose and fought not to think about Rafe asking me to do just that. I smoothed some shimmery body lotion over my arms and legs, thinking it would both settle me in my human skin and help my body stretch.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. All I wore was a white velvet robe. In some ways I looked older; in some ways I looked the same. The same would be true of me when I shifted.
I turned from the mirror and walked to the entrance of the cavern, slipped out from beneath the curtain of water, and circled the still pool that would soon reflect the rising moon.
Connor stood there, waiting for me, his dark-blond hair brushed back, his sapphire-blue eyes calm. He wore a black robe. He held out his hand to me, and I placed my palm against his. His fingers, so sure and steady, closed around mine.
“Nervous, Lindsey?” he asked.
“Yeah, a little.” I released a self-conscious puff of breath. “I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life.”
“Me, too.”
“But you’ve already transformed.”
“Not with you.”
Leaning in, he brushed his lips over mine. My heart stuttered, and I fought not to think about Rafe. Connor is my friend. I care about him….
“We should go,” I said, before my thoughts traveled down a path that would lead to disaster.
Holding my hand, he led me to the middle of the clearing. I could see the full moon: so large, so bright, so yellow. My transformation wouldn’t begin until it reached its zenith.
Connor and I faced each other, waiting for the moment. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.
Then I heard the growl—low, deep, and challenging.
Connor and I both turned our attention to the forest. Near the trees, a lone black wolf snarled. I would have recognized those chocolate-brown eyes anywhere.
“Don’t do this, Rafe,” Connor commanded sternly.
The wolf crouched and bared his teeth. A dare. A challenge.
Connor looked back at me. “Which one of us do you want to win?”
He hesitated only a heartbeat before he threw off his robe and ran toward the wolf. Then Connor leaped up and, in the blink of an eye, transformed into a golden wolf. The black wolf lunged at him. They collided in midair: light and dark.
I watched in horror, knowing what Connor had really asked me: Which one of us do you want to die?
We are human, but we are also beast, and in our world a challenge isn’t made lightly. A challenge is a fight to the death.
I knelt in the grass and felt the tears washing down my face. I hadn’t been able to give Connor an answer. The battle that had been raging in my heart all summer had transcended into one of flesh and blood.
Tonight, beneath a full moon, someone I loved would die.
EIGHTEEN
They clashed, they snarled, they bared their teeth. They weren’t kidding here. They were both alpha males trying to claim their mate. At that moment I hated what we were, hated that we could be reduced to wild animals governed by instinct instead of by our hearts and minds.
“Don’t do this!” I yelled, but they ignored me.
This was worse than the fight they’d had in the cave. I’d sustain more than a black eye if I tried to get between them. I was likely to end up with a gaping hole in my throat.
They broke apart and then came back together, growling and snapping their jaws. Shifters are larger and stronger than the wolves in the wild. Connor and Rafe were well matched, and they weren’t afraid to fight, to tear at each other.
I pushed myself to my feet. I had to stop this madness. I’d loved Connor forever and loved Rafe just a short time. Which was more important: the length of time or the intensity of emotion?
They separated, and the golden wolf slowly circled the black wolf. Rafe seemed to be hurt. When we are bitten by one of our kind, the wound we receive doesn’t heal as quickly as those delivered by other animals. Something in our saliva stops the healing process that usually occurs when we’re injured while in wolf form. I wondered what Mason might do with that information. If you had no vulnerabilities, you could never be destroyed. We, however, could be destroyed.
Judging by how heavily Rafe was breathing, how still he was, how he was sizing up Connor and waiting…I knew he’d been hurt. In the moonlight, I could see a dark dampness on his fur. It flowed from near his throat, the most vulnerable part of his wolf form. If Connor had nicked Rafe’s carotid artery, though, he’d have bled out already. That hadn’t happened, but it looked like he’d gotten him good anyway.
I knew Connor, had seen him fight, knew he could be lethal. I knew he had the habit of sizing up his opponent and determining his weakness—and then he’d strike. He suddenly became still, put his weight back on his haunches, and I knew he was going to go for the kill….
I also knew that Connor’s primal instincts had taken over. He always worked so hard to control them, to be more human than beast, to be civilized. When Connor emerged from his barbaric haze, if Rafe was dead, Connor would never forgive himself. I suspected that if Rafe came out the victor, he would live with regrets over killing Connor. I also knew that regardless of who died, I would always blame myself because I hadn’t been strong enough to make my choice before it was too late.
“No!” I screamed as I ran for them.
The moonlight washed over me and pain shot through my body. It was more intense than I had ever expected. I doubled over and fell to my knees.
Connor launched himself at Rafe.
Rafe lunged for him in return. I heard the clash of bone and flesh. I struggled to my feet and staggered toward them. I felt as though my bones had turned into shards of glass.