I had to do this. I had to reach them. Since the beginning of summer I’d begun to have doubts. I’d shared my doubts with them and made them each feel less than who they were. This wasn’t their battle to fight. It was mine.
I thought about the joy I felt when I was with Rafe. I thought about how I always wanted him to touch me, how desperately I wanted to touch him. I remembered how he’d admitted hungering for me. That desire for him lived inside me, too, terrifying me with its intensity. I’d been afraid to give in to it, to embrace it. I’d feared that it was temporary.
But I knew now that it was the call of my mate, the lure of my destiny. If I didn’t accept and fight for it now, I would lose it forever.
Rafe and Connor were rolling over the ground, snarling and snapping at each other. Two feral beasts, exhibiting nature at its most untamed—but inside there was still that spark of human that separated us from the true wolves. I was counting on that now.
I dropped to my knees and cried, “I choose Rafe! With all that I am and all that I will be, I choose Rafe as my mate.”
They both stilled at once. I looked into the brown eyes of the one who, in only a short time, I’d come to love more than anything. In those brown depths, I didn’t see victory or satisfaction. I saw instead a love so deep, so powerful, that if I hadn’t already been on my knees I would have fallen to them.
I shifted my gaze to the eyes of blue. I saw hurt pride there—but no deep loss, no true devastation.
“I’m sorry, Connor,” I said softly. Pain ripped through me and I bit back a scream. “I wanted it to be you. You’ve been with me for every important moment in my life—but this moment belongs to Rafe. I love him so much that it scares me. You were the easier choice, but the wrong one.”
The black wolf pulled away from the blond one and moved beyond my vision. The blond wolf slowly rolled over to his feet. With a last look in my direction, he loped off into the forest.
Agony poured through me like molten fire. I doubled over, refusing to scream.
Suddenly, Rafe was kneeling beside me, the robe wrapped around him, his hands grasping my arms. “Lindsey, do you accept me as your mate?”
I looked into his beautiful chocolate eyes, could see the blood flowing from his shoulder where Connor had dug his fangs into Rafe’s flesh. I nodded. “Yes, Rafe. I love you.”
He pulled me close, held me tightly, and kissed me. I concentrated on the strength in his arms, the power of his kiss. It was what I needed to distract me. The pain began to recede, like waves that had washed up on the shore. It had seemed so powerful, so overwhelming, but now it was easing away and all that surrounded me was Rafe—Rafe and whatever he might feel for me.
He’d fought for me. It was something the ancients had done, but as far as I knew no one had done it in modern times. I was overwhelmed that he would risk so much for me, overwhelmed that Connor had answered the call to fight—and then walked away. I didn’t have time to think about that or what it might mean.
All I could think about was Rafe and all the strange sensations running through me, as though my blood now contained a thousand glittering stars. Rafe deepened the kiss. I was tingling all over with a sensation that seemed caught between pleasure and pain, and then I felt as though I’d been harboring fireworks that suddenly burst through me….
Rafe was no longer kissing me, but was nuzzling his cold nose against mine. He was a wolf.
And so was I.
I glanced down. I was just as I’d always thought I’d be. A beautiful white, like the Arctic wolf.
You’re so pretty.
The words popped into my head, and I realized they weren’t my thoughts. They were Rafe’s.
I can hear your thoughts.
If wolves could grin, he was grinning.
Forgive me for challenging Connor, but I couldn’t give you up that easily, not without a fight.
You could have been killed.
I’m not usually one for corny thoughts, but if I couldn’t be your mate, I didn’t care what happened.
Don’t ever do that again.
I won’t.
I glanced around. Where’s Connor? He’ll always be my friend. I should go to him.
Trust me. He’ll want to be alone for now. You can find him later. He nuzzled my throat. I want to show you the world through the eyes of a wolf.
He started to lope away, and I rushed after him. It was strange that my heart no longer had any doubts. It seemed silly now that I hadn’t known my own heart’s desire.
Rafe was the one. The one I loved deeply, the one I wanted with me through all the challenges in my life. I knew that now, could feel it just as I felt my own heart pumping throughout my wolf’s body.
We climbed to a spot on the mountain where we could look out over the national forest and up into the vast expanse of sky. In the shape of a wolf, I felt a stronger connection to it all, as though I were more attuned to nature.
Part of me was sad that Connor wasn’t here with me. He’d been with me through so many important moments—but now I understood that I was never meant to share this moment with Connor. It was Rafe’s moment. It had always been his.
I looked over at Rafe. I love you.
In the silence of the night, I heard his answer.
I love you, too.
NINETEEN
I can’t explain what it’s like to take another form. On the one hand, everything is totally different: the way I move, the way I think, the way I perceive the world. On the other hand, none of it is strange. It’s still me.
After what must have been hours but seemed like only minutes, Rafe and I returned to the clearing. I closed my eyes and imagined myself as I’d always been—even though I’d never again be what I was before the wonder of this transformation. But I saw myself as a girl. I felt a tingling, like an electrical current, running through me—and when I opened my eyes, I was once again in human form. Reaching down, I picked up the robe I’d been wearing before the change and draped it over my shoulders.
Looking around, I saw Rafe coming out of the forest. Wearing his jeans, he held his shirt in one hand and his shoes in the other.
Suddenly I felt more exhausted than I’d thought possible. I swayed. Immediately he was beside me, wrapping his arm around me, drawing me up against his side. I felt a soul-deep connection with him that I’d never experienced with Connor. Part of me was sad, hoping that my childhood friend would be okay. A part of me even missed him. But most of me was still just blown away by all that had happened on this night. I finally knew who my true mate was. I rested my head in the curve of his shoulder.