He waited.
She twisted her hands in her lap and bit at her bottom lip before she continued. “I realized that you really enjoy hunting down bad guys, and you really enjoy being a warrior—doing what you are trained to do.”
“You realized this because I told you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, I realized it because it was written all over your face. You were like a little kid on Christmas.”
“And?”
Her eyes widened at him and her jaw tightened as anger welled up inside of her. “And?” she snapped. “And I’ve decided that I’m not going to be the one who takes that from you. I’m not going to be the reason you stop doing what you trained to do—what you obviously love to do.” She was breathing a little heavier when she finished as she attempted to get her emotions under control. It was so hard with him and she still wasn’t used to feeling so emotional and frankly, she didn’t like it.
“What do you mean you’ve decided?” His low voice and soft words should have been a red flag for her to just shut up, but then Elora was getting really good at ignoring red flags when it came to Cush. “Decided what exactly?” he asked.
She let out a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. She pulled the long mane over her shoulder and quickly braided it, using it as an excuse to think before she finally just said what she needed to say.
“I’ve decided that once this is all done, once Lorsan is taken care of and Trik and Cassie are safe and all is right in the world, we…,” she motioned between them, “will just go on with our lives,” she paused, “separately, in our own realms.” Elora decided that as soon as that last word left her mouth she had never heard such utter, complete silence. It was as if the damn bed bugs, that she was sure were living in the motel bed, were holding their breath waiting to see what the warrior would do. He took a step towards her and she struggled not to stand from where she sat and move away from his imposing presence.
“You honestly believe I would choose my job over you?” he finally asked after several tense minutes of silence. “You think that I would rather go into battle than be with my Chosen?” he asked before she could answer the first question.
Elora licked her lips nervously and then pulled her shoulders back and stood up so that she didn’t have to tilt her head so far back to look at him. “That’s just it, Cush. I may be your Chosen, but you didn’t choose me.” BAM, she thought to herself, how do you like them apples. “You feel what you feel because you have to. You don’t have a choice and that’s not good enough for me. Not when it means that you might just throw away something that you love doing, something that you actually chose to do.”
He laughed but she didn’t think for a minute that there was any humor in that laugh.
“You think that I chose to be a warrior? You think that this life wasn’t forced on me? We aren’t human, Elora. We don’t live in a society where we go to school and get to be whatever our little hearts’ desire. As a male of my race the first thing they evaluate us for, before we are even a handful of years old, is our battle skills. Do we defend ourselves or do we hide? Do we protect others first or do we think of our own safety first. I was chosen by my king before I turned four summers. I was singled out to be a warrior long before I even had aspirations or dreams. Don’t think for a minute that I ever chose this life. It was chosen for me. I was predestined for it—just as you were predestined for me.
Elora didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to be a child and told that you would be a warrior—that you didn’t have a choice. “You see that’s my point,” she said suddenly as she realized what she was trying to get across to him. He had just made her point for her and she wasn’t going to let the advantage slip away. “You have never been given a choice in your life and I’m not going to do the same thing to you. Okay, I get it; we’re soul mates. I totally believe that.” She wasn’t about to deny it because she could feel her soul was screaming at her to shut her big trap. “But I’m not going to tell you that you have to be with me just because we were made for each other. That’s not fair to you,” she paused and then finished with, “or me.”
Cush’s eyes narrowed. “Hold up, is this really about you not wanting to force yourself on me or is this about the fact that you don’t want to be with me? You just said it’s not fair for you. Do you feel like I’m forcing this on you?” She could see the hurt in his eyes and she should correct him. She should tell him the truth, but she saw this as her chance to push him away, a chance to make sure that he didn’t get stuck with her.
“Look, I realize that you are the other half to my soul. I understand that without you I won’t ever be whole. But, Cush, that’s just not enough for me to give up my life and it shouldn’t be enough for you either.” She turned away from him and had to bite her tongue to keep from crying because she knew at any moment he was going to tell her she was right. Any moment he was going to tell her to have a nice life and it was going to break her heart. She didn’t want him to see her if and when he finally did it.
“You’re right,” he said after several heartbeats.
Elora felt her heart begin to shatter into a million tiny pieces. She squeezed her hands into fists and welcomed the pain of her fingernails digging into her palms. He had said it; he agreed with her. Now she just had to be strong enough to let him walk away.
“If all there was between us was the soul mate connection, it wouldn’t be enough,” he continued and she was barely listening because really all she wanted was for him to leave so she could curl up in a ball and cry like the girl she never claimed to be. “If the only thing that made us what we are to each other was the Chosen bond then I wouldn’t ask you to walk away from your life, but that’s not all there is and you know it. LOOK AT ME!” he yelled suddenly and Elora jumped.
She turned slowly and her eyes landed on a very angry light-elf warrior. His eyes nearly glowed and his chest rose and fell quickly with his short breaths.
“Tell me. Look me in the eyes, Elora, and tell me that you don’t love me.”
“What?” she nearly shrieked at him.
He took a step closer and another and another until he was less than a foot away from her. She had to tilt her head back to look up at his face and see his incredible beauty so close to her, only a breath away.