A low laugh slipped from Kyle’s throat. “Mackenzie Dobson, if you thought you had to go to this much trouble to get me out of my clothes, then we’ve got bigger problems than me being a werewolf. Next time, just ask.” A dark, mischievous light flared deep in his eyes. “This time, however, the shorts stay on.”
My stomach did a slow flip—that thing other people called “butterflies”—as warmth flooded my cheeks. We had agreed to take things slowly and I knew he was just teasing, but . . .
A line of sparks raced down my spine.
Kyle’s lips curved up in a small grin at the blush, but like all of his smiles over the past few months, the grin faded quickly. “Whatever happens, stay on that side of the fire.”
I nodded. Werewolves didn’t always have the greatest control over their movements when they shifted. It was hard to be conscious of every gesture when your body was being pulled apart, and one accidental scratch could infect me with lupine syndrome.
“I usually get a burst of adrenaline after I change. If I run, don’t try to follow, all right? I won’t go far. I just might need to burn some of it off before I can shift back.”
“Kyle, we’ve been through this.” At least twenty times in the past three hours. “If you really don’t want to . . .”
“No. I do.” The words were resolute, but he still looked doubtful—like he thought this whole thing was a mistake and that I’d freak and bolt.
Shrugging off the sleeping bag, I stood. I walked around the fire and came to a stop in front of him. Gently, I pressed my hand to his chest. A werewolf’s heart beats faster than a reg’s, and I could feel the thud under my palm. His skin was hot—as though he had a fever. I stood on tiptoe and brushed my lips against his as I ran my hands over his chest, along his shoulders, and down his arms.
Pulling me close, Kyle deepened the kiss until it felt like his arms were the only things keeping me upright.
I finally eased away—not because I wanted to, but because we would both forget why we were here if he kept kissing me like that.
He brushed a strand of hair back from my cheek. “Have I told you how great you look with short hair?”
I ran a hand through my dishwater-blond locks—too long to be a pixie, too short to be a bob—and shook my head. “Only about thirty times.”
“Here’s to thirty-one.” He was quiet for a minute. “I’ve been thinking,” he said finally. “About Colorado.”
“Oh?” I tried to keep my voice casual but it cracked over the single syllable. A little over a month ago, Kyle had left Hemlock to start a new life in Denver. Part of that new life had included joining a wolf pack—the Eumon. There were just a few things he hadn’t counted on—like the fact that Jason and I would follow him halfway across the country or that the leader of the pack he had chosen was my estranged father. Now Kyle was stuck between worlds with a decision to make. He could stay here, with me, taking the very real chance that he’d be labeled an oath breaker and blacklisted by the werewolf community, or he could return to Colorado and take his sworn place among my father’s wolves.
That pending decision was the big reason we were taking things slowly: Kyle didn’t want to hurt me any more than he had to, and I didn’t want to make his choice any harder than it had to be.
There wasn’t a single part of me that didn’t want him to stay, but I loved him enough to want what was best for him. Even if I wasn’t it.
There was a time—not very long ago—when I wouldn’t have been capable of thinking that way, when I would have fought to keep him by my side because I was too scared and selfish to even consider letting him go, but the past few weeks had changed me.
The thought of a life without Kyle made it feel like parts of me were cold and dying, but I now knew that I could be strong enough to let him go—if that was what he really wanted. I would do anything for him—no matter what the cost.
A shadow passed over Kyle’s face, and I wondered how much of my thoughts had shown in my eyes.
He slid his hands over my arms. Even through two layers of clothing, the touch made me ache.
“I think part of the problem is that we both keep looking at it like an either-or situation—either I go back to the pack or we stay together.”
“You’re saying you want me to go to Colorado with you?” I raised an eyebrow.
“No,” he said. “I’m not sure a wolf pack is the safest place in the world. Plus, you have Tess and school. Serena and Jason.” There was a strain around the way he said his best friend’s name, one I didn’t want to examine too closely. “Lots of people have long-distance relationships. Even if I had never gotten infected, if we had just started dating like a normal couple, there’s no guarantee we’d have picked the same college. We might still have ended up doing the long-distance thing.”
I wasn’t convinced that joining a wolf pack could be compared to a semester away at school with Thanksgiving break and keggers, but I still felt a small flare of hope. Speaking slowly and carefully, needing to know I wasn’t misunderstanding, I said, “So even if you go back to Colorado, you’re saying you want to stay together?”
He nodded. “I’m still not convinced it’s what’s best for you, but I tried to make the decision for the both of us and it failed spectacularly.” He reached out and traced the curve of my cheek with his fingertips, making me shiver, before gently pressing his palm to my shoulder, right over the spot where I had been shot. Something dark and haunted slipped behind his eyes, and I knew he was thinking of how close I had come to dying just a few weeks ago. “Besides, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’m selfless enough to walk away from you a second time.”
I pulled him to me, clutching him so hard and kissing him so fiercely that every inch of my body trembled.
“You know,” breathed Kyle, easing back just far enough that speech was possible. “We could just forget about this whole shape-shifting thing.”
“Mmmm. Tempting, but no.” Truth be told, I wasn’t entirely sure I trusted myself to stick to the slow path. I placed both hands on his chest and pushed myself back.
My fingers itched to touch him again, but I forced myself to return to my place across the fire.
Kyle stared at me for a long moment over the flames. With a shake of his head and a small sigh, he kicked off his Vans and slipped out of his jeans until he stood in just a pair of dark-blue shorts. “That side of the fire. Remember.”