I say it aloud so easily, so simply, that I can’t believe it. The words sit in the air, float up gently like smoke. Jude turns to me, eyes a little wide, like he’s certain he heard me wrong.
I can’t take back what I said, so I move forward.
“There was someone else, but first I couldn’t tell you about her, and then it felt like it was too late to tell you….”
“Who is she? Wait, what happened?” Jude asks, alarmed. He doesn’t sound angry, exactly, but something closer to hurt.
“It’s crazy,” I say quietly. I get closer, stand beside him near the railing. “If I tell you, you have to believe me.”
“Of course.”
I inhale. “When you fell, I did run down the path, to the shore. But you’re right; it took ages. When I got to the edge of the water, there was already someone with you, swimming you out.”
He looks down, like he’s trying to reconcile the truth with what he’s believed for weeks now. Jude shakes his head and looks back up at me.
“But the people at the hospital told me it was you. You told me it was you—”
“I rode with you in the ambulance, but it was another girl who pulled you out of the water.” My voice sounds dead—my voice sounds like Lo’s.
“You lied?”
He sounds betrayed, hurt, angry, a strange tone, too serious for the Jude I know. But I nod.
“Who?” he asks.
I inhale. “This is the part you have to believe.” He’s going to think I’m crazy. He’s going to think I’ve lost it, that I’m not who he thought I was. He’s going to leave. “It was Naida.”
“Your friend Naida?”
“That’s the night I met her, too. She was in the water.”
“Swimming?”
“Sort of.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“That’s where she lives.”
Jude stops, looks at me. Yes, he thinks I’m crazy, I’m a liar, I’m doing this on purpose. I don’t need Jane’s power to tell me all that. I look down.
“She lives in the water. And she can’t leave the beach.”
“Brown hair?” Jude suddenly says. I nod. He looks out over the ocean. His voice grows soft, his eyes almost close. “I remember her. She sang to me.”
I nod again. Tears are hot in my eyes. I wish it had been me. I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t a lie that I was the one who saved you.
He looks up sharply at the ocean, turns to me. “Does she have a sister?”
The question throws me; I stumble to answer. “Um, yes. Or she says she does, anyway. That there are more like her.”
“Named Lo?”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the chest. Questions, fears push around my heart, rearrange my lungs. I slowly, slowly shake my head, answer before Jude can speak again. “That’s not her sister. That’s her other name.”
“Her other name?”
“When she was human, her name was Naida. Now her name is Lo. Lo is really the one who saved you, I guess.”
“She’s the girl on the beach,” he whispers, turning back to look out over the water. “That explains it. She never leaves, she looks strange, she loves the water….”
“You…” You met her? You know her? You remember her? What question do I want to ask first? Which one do I least want the answer to?
“When I went back to the water the first time, at night, there was a girl there. And when I looked at her, I felt music again, and she sang…. It was like all these songs went into my head, everything the ocean took….” He’s rambling, putting the pieces together as he speaks them aloud. Tears, more tears, though now I’m not sure for whom. He’s met with Lo, with this beautiful girl, and not told me? And the song, the song—
“It was about her. The song you played for me,” I say dully. And in the shadow of a temple, where the ocean finds its prey, / That’s where she’s waiting for me, by the water, by the waves. Jude’s eyes shoot up, like he forgot I was standing there. He shakes his head but doesn’t look apologetic.
“It was about both of you… sort of.”
That doesn’t help.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” he finally asks.
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew Lo?” I answer, trying to breathe through the thick feeling in my throat. “At least I have a reason. I didn’t think I’d see you again. I didn’t think it’d matter, and I didn’t think I could explain how this girl pulled you out of the water and then went back into the water. And then I didn’t want you to think I was crazy, and then it felt like it’d been so long I couldn’t tell you….”
“You could have told me. There were dozens of times you could have told me,” he says.
“You could have talked to me, too. And you kept quiet for no reason, just to keep her a secret, just to see both of us… and so did she. You both lied to me. I saved your life, I helped her, and you both…” All I can think about right now is Jude on the beach with Lo.
I want to scream at everyone.
“It isn’t like that,” Jude mutters, shaking his head.
“Then why not tell me about her?” I ask.
“Because…” But he doesn’t have an answer. He puts his fingers to his temples. “This is so much. What is she?”
“I thought she was my friend. And I thought you were my boyfriend.”
“I am,” Jude says, finally cracking. He sounds exasperated, and his mouth forms a straight line. “But you didn’t tell me any of this. You think I would have cared that you had help saving me?”
“It’s her you remember from that night. Not me. So yes.”
“Where is she now?”
My eyes widen. I feel like I’ve been cut. I turn to the ocean. “Out there. Somewhere. Good luck.” An announcement over the Pavilion’s loudspeaker tells us that the rides and pier are closed.
“She didn’t tell me she knew you. No one told me anything.” He steps away from the railing, turns in a circle. “I’ve got to get out of here,” he says darkly, exhaling. He jogs off the pier, guitar bouncing on his back. I glare at him as he goes, fold my arms, and clench my jaw.