He didn’t seem angry. Just distant.
Zelazny walked in, followed by a guard who took a position just outside the door. For the first time since she’d returned to Cimmeria, Allie was glad to see a guard.
She cast a sideways glance at Sylvain. If he was reassured by the presence of the guard she couldn’t tell. His expression was inscrutable as the teacher stepped to the front of the room.
Zelazny’s small, pale blue eyes swept the sparsely populated room, lingering on Allie and Sylvain.
‘Welcome back,’ he barked with his usual gruffness. ‘I hope you’ve been keeping up with your studies. Everyone, open your books to page two hundred and twenty-seven …’
He acted just as she remembered. Blustery. Authoritarian. Writing words and dates on the whiteboard in the same spiky handwriting.
Allie scrutinised his every move. Could he have done it? Could he have helped kill Jo?
It didn’t seem possible. But one of them had done it.
She knew she shouldn’t but she let the memory of that night back into her thoughts: Jo lying on the ground, blood all around her. Arms at an odd angle. So strangely still.
All her muscles tensed and her breaths began to come quicker in short gasps. How could she just sit in this room? One of the teachers had opened the gate to let Jo’s killer reach her. Was it Zelazny? Could he have done that? Was she in a room with Jo’s killer right now?
She tried to imagine him slipping into Isabelle’s office, finding the remote that controlled the gate. Checking his watch. Then pushing the button.
As her thoughts whirled faster, her pulse sped too. Soon her heart was galloping unevenly in her chest.
She hadn’t had a panic attack in so long she’d forgotten how horrible it felt.
It felt like she was dying.
Zelazny was still writing on the boards as her chest closed in around her lungs.
All the air left the room. She couldn’t breathe.
Allie tried to stay calm. She had to learn to deal with this. Because she had to come back here tomorrow. And the day after that.
Closing her eyes to shut out everything, she tried to take a breath but nothing happened. Her lungs would not accept the air.
Her heart thudded so loudly now she imagined everyone in the room must hear it. Or see it through her shirt.
Terrified, she reached out a hand towards Sylvain.
As soon as he saw the look on her face he leapt from his seat and crouched beside her.
‘Allie? What is it?’
But she couldn’t speak. She was dying.
‘What’s happening?’ Zelazny barked, and it seemed to come from far away.
Through a darkening haze, she heard Carter’s voice. ‘Move.’
Shoving Sylvain aside, Carter took Allie by the shoulders, lifting her bodily from her chair.
Ignoring everyone else, he locked his eyes on hers. ‘Just breathe, Allie,’ he said quietly. ‘Remember how?’
But she didn’t remember. It was as if breathing had become the most complicated thing in the world. She tried to shake her head. Failed.
He turned to Sylvain. ‘We have to get her out of here.’
Later she couldn’t remember leaving the room. Just that suddenly she was in the hallway. She could hear voices – Zelazny calling after them, students murmuring disquietedly – but it all seemed far away.
The movement helped. Allie wheezed in a thread of oxygen. But not enough. Not nearly enough.
Someone was holding her up. Allie could hear other sounds in the distance but they didn’t matter.
‘Help her.’ Sylvain’s voice. Desperate. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
Then all she could see was Carter. His dark, troubled eyes like pools of deep water. His hands warm and familiar on her shoulders. Supporting her weight.
‘You can do this, Allie.’ The anger from the day before had gone from his voice. He sounded like old Carter again. Gentle and caring. ‘Think of something good. Something you like.’ He smoothed her hair away from her clammy face. ‘Just breathe.’
Seeing him like this – the way he used to be – made her catch her breath. With that tiny gasp her lungs released a little and she took a short breath.
‘That’s good,’ he said approvingly. ‘Try it again.’
Holding his gaze as if only he could make her breathe, she did it again.
‘That’s two breaths,’ he said, and she felt him relax a little. ‘You’re fine, Allie. You’re just fine. Keep breathing.’
Her heart still pounded so frantically she wondered how she could still be alive. But she was.
Gradually her lungs released and air returned to her body. The corridor swam back into view. Now she could see Zelazny in the doorway of the classroom watching her with a concerned frown, students crowded behind him. Jerry had come out of the science room and stood behind Carter and Sylvain, a guard at his shoulder.
‘Is she OK?’ the science teacher asked. ‘Take her pulse.’
Carter didn’t lift his gaze from hers. ‘She’s going to be fine.’
For the first time Allie was really conscious of how close he was standing. She was glad no one was taking her pulse just then.
As if he’d seen this in her eyes, he loosened his hold and stepped back, motioning for Sylvain to fill the space he’d left.
‘All right, you lot,’ Zelazny barked at the crowd of students. ‘Back in your seats.’
Reluctantly they returned to their lessons.
Down the hallway, Allie could hear the bangs of classroom doors closing. The show was over.