Oops. I should probably have done that myself. If I’m honest, maybe I didn’t want to because she’s pretty striking. I’m happy when he doesn’t seem wowed; he’s low-level friendly, nothing else. Let’s see, Shane met Tara and Kenny at Green World, so that’s handled. Part of me wishes I had him to myself, but this is better. The more people know who he is, the less likely the jocks can get away with harassing him.
“I’m pretty excited about the cleanup tonight,” Tara says.
By looking at her, you’d never guess; you’d think she’s afraid to get her hands dirty. Her nails are always perfectly manicured, and you can tell her family has money, so I find her participation in Green World fascinating. Past experience with rich kids tells me most of them are spoiled and don’t care about giving back. Today, her designer outfit is pristine; she’s spent hours on her personal grooming. Tara is pretty, but she wears more makeup than she needs. I saw her without it once, and her mahogany skin is flawless.
Kenny, on the other hand, is a total gamer geek. All of his clothing has the logo of some game franchise, and he never goes without his Mario hat. He’s also got a crush on Tara the size of Texas, which explains his interest in the environment.
“What cleanup?” Theo asks.
I glance at Shane. This is a chance to evangelize, but he might think I’m weird. Then I remember that he’s already been to one of our meetings. It’s not like this information will surprise him, so I explain the purpose of the group. By the time I finish, the sophomores look interested.
Mel asks, “Is it something that would help on a college app?”
“Absolutely.” I’m smiling.
“What time today and where?” Kimmy wants to know.
Wow, did I just recruit four new members? The flyers I posted at the start of school got defaced and torn up. Until now, I’d considered ditching tonight’s cleanup, though it was my idea. Frowning, I abandon that plan; it’s chicken, and as long as there are other people around, there will be a buffer between Ryan and me. I can do this. I will do this.
“I can help,” Lila says unexpectedly.
“That would rock. We’ll get done a lot faster with more bodies.”
“Anything for my college app,” she mutters, like she’s embarrassed to be seen caring.
I write down the place and time in a grid I draw in my notebook, then fold the paper until it tears neatly into multiple squares. When I glance up, Shane is watching me with a riveted expression, a carrot stick hovering halfway to his mouth. I want to say, What? But that will ruin the moment because he’s not going to tell me what he’s thinking with everyone else sitting here.
Friend. He needs a friend. Well, I’m doing my best to surround him with people.
I summarize the plan and add, “If you can’t get a hold of biodegradable trash bags, that’s all right. I have extras.”
“Of course you do,” Lila says, grinning. “I bet you were adorable riding in with all the boxes balanced on your bike.”
I glare at her. “Hey, that was not easy.”
“I’m not mocking you, Princess. I like your determination. It’s … odd.” That shouldn’t sound complimentary, but somehow, between her warm eyes and her sincere smile, it does.
The remainder of lunch is spent on logistics with the sophomores texting their parents to explain they’ve gotten involved in a community cleanup project and will need rides later. Shane doesn’t say much, nor does he volunteer to help. I’m a little sad about that. But he does walk me to my locker.
“Why did she call you ‘princess’?”
Awesome. Sighing, I mumble an explanation about the nickname and conclude, “So yeah, the Post-its. I should probably stop with that.”
People whose names I don’t remember wave to me as I go down the hall. This is strange. I mean, the ones I’ve tried to cheer up have always acted quietly pleased, but they never go out of their way when they see me. What’s changed?
Before I can puzzle on that too long, Shane says, “I hope you don’t.”
Huh. Ryan always found it silly and slightly embarrassing. I mean, not enough to complain about it, but he also never got the point; he told me once it was a huge waste of time and paper. Obviously I disagree.
“Unlikely,” I say, smiling as I parrot his word back to him.
“Cute. Uh. I’d like to come tonight if you could use another pair of hands.”
“Wear gloves,” I say, touching his fingers. “These are guitar-playing gold.”
His smile melts me. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“But I thought you weren’t interested in coming to another meeting?”
“That was before I realized how relentless you are.”
My cheeks flush, burning with heat. I can’t meet his gaze, so I stare at his battered army boots instead; yeah, these are totally tan. “I told you I was sorry about that.”
“Hey.” He tips my face up with warm fingers, and for a crazy moment, I think he might kiss me. “I was kidding. I mean, you are hyper-focused, but not in a bad way. I probably need someone who won’t let me hide.” Shane runs his other hand through his tousled curls. “God, somehow you got my life story out of me in one afternoon. I never … I don’t talk to people like that. I just don’t.”
I didn’t even realize it was rare; that’s how right it felt. But maybe he needed to open up … and I was there. Could’ve been timing more than anything to do with me. Still, the glow of satisfaction starts in my toes and radiates all the way up to my neck. I’ve never felt this way before, not this exact combination of giddiness and abject terror.